I want to wait to have sex, how do I tell him?

So I've been dating this guy for about 2 months... We spent one night together recently where I sleptover at his place, and we literally just "slept". I'm pretty sure he thought we were gonna have sex that night, but I had my period. We just cuddled in his bed, falling asleep while spooning, and he definitely felt me up.

So he's been hinting at wanting to have sex, completely understandably, and I thought wanted to have sex with him too. But now after thinking about our relationship and where it stands right, I think I want to wait. Now when he's hinted at sex I've also hinted back that I wanna have sex with him too. I don't want to seem like I'm lying, because at the time I did wanna have sex with him and now I want to wait.

I just don't know what to do. I don't want to seem immature but I really thought about it and I don't feel comfortable having sex with him yet. What's the best way to tell him?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Just say: Hey I like/love you but I take my sex life seriously and I want to wait until I feel we're ready.
    Simple as that no need to lead him on. If he can't wait then he's not the one for you.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • Be honest about it. You can suggest other things you may be more comfortable with. I dated a girl only 3.5 weeks and she mentioned oral sex. It didn't happen for me, since I cared about her too much. You should wait till you're ready.

    • Will he be hurt? Because I know he wants it and has been wanting it for a while.

    • General consensus here is pointing toward being honest. If he does care and respects your feelings, he won't push the subject. Take things at the pace you feel comfortable with

  • In my opinion you should just tell him straight up, as a good boyfriend would accept your wishes and roll with it and respect your needs to not have sex. If he doesn't respect that, then obviously you should start talking to him about that. If I was the guy in the situation I would want my girl to keep it in a good tone, explain the reason why, and when you would be ready to have sex. So you won't leave the guy clueless and frustrated. This is coming from a high schooler and how I would as a guy want this to go.

  • just say that you're not comfortable yet

  • Two months? You have already been waiting. That is a very long time to hold out.

    If I was with a girl and sex had not happened by the end of the second or third time we hung out I would be gone.


What Girls Said 2

  • Just literally tell him you don't feel comfortable with doing it yet even if you kind of want to as well. He should be understanding about it because it's something you feel strongly about.

  • Straight to the point, you want sex but aren't ready yet.