I've been with my girlfriend 3 months, and I kissed another girl.

we've been together 3 month and last night I ended up in a friends house who happened to be an ex, and we kissed, should I tell my girlfriend ? or keep it from her to avoid hurting her as she's never going to find out

Updates:
as I love my girlfriend and know that I want to be with her, this kissing lasted no more than 20mins, is it worth ruining a relationship over /?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well you made a childish/selfish mistake.

    BUT don't make another one!

    Telling the girlfriend about your mistake IS NOT the answer.

    Why?

    Because all it does is make you feel better, and make her feel worse.

    We tend to unburden ourselves on the one's we love simply because we're trying to unload our feelings of guilt... and in some occasions this makes relationships stronger... but not in this case.

    There's nothing that can be done now. It was a mistake that you regret, and that you will never do again (right!?)

    So be a man, live with your guilt, and don't burden her with your baggage.

    These are the mistakes that help lift you up from boy to man, so take special NOTE and never allow yourself to become so selfish again - especially when you're committed to someone else.

    Keep it to yourself, and move on. Regret your actions, but then forgive yourself and move on!

    Best of luck,

    ~ Robby

    My Blog ( link )

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    • Thanks for your answers :), really helpful, it was a very big mistake to kiss the ex, just been struggling on wether to tell her or not

What Girls Said 5

  • 20 minutes! did you come up for breath!? av you eva heard the saying girls neva forget? or they always find out? perhaps this was a drunken mistake, if you do love ur girlfriend and I mean uv thought about this and are 100% per certain then tell her- ouch! rite? TRUST me it hurts more to find out from someone else or through ur own snooping, which mayb inevitable if you feel mega guilty and you unconsciously give her reason to think sumets up. When you tell her make sure its a serious talk, no distractions, and don't get her flowers etc cos then she will think that ur not really sorry ur just trying to take her mind off it. Tell her ur willing to talk about it and answer questions, but she must give you time to explain why it happened. Also tell her ur willing to accept her decision and if she wants space giv it to her. when I mean space, I mean a couple of days no contact to allow her to think through and hopefully realise she loves you and misses you and willing to forgive u. I've been on the recieiving end, I found pictures of my boyfriend with an ex, and he didn't tell me he had been out with her, I accidently came across some pics on Facebook- he wasn't tagged and I went ballistic, and you know why? cos he didn't tell me first and foremost. Relationships are built on trust and communication end of! if she's a decent girl she will be angry, but will in time be happy you told her- because that shows respect. do you know the reasons why you did it? if you do giv her space and she doesn't eventually contact u, contact her with a sweet and short message asking her to meet for coffee or something similar. Don't bring it up allow her to talk, and for gods sake don't do sumet like this again, hopefully ur guilty conscience has told you ur not the cheating type.

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  • you know you made a big mistake and I would seriously tell her. what if your ex decides she wants you back and then goes off and tells your girl? then what are you going to do? I would rather hear it from my boyfriends mouth that he made out with a girl and walk away from him then hear it from his evil ex and have my trust in him shattered by the bitch.

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  • I'd say that you should tell her.. Because in my opinion she's gonna know anyway!

    So better make things clean from now, if you wait and she knew, you re gonna have much bigger problems ...

    Just tell her that the kiss didn't mean anything and you actually told her the truth because you care about her and because it didn't mean anything for you..

    Good luck..

    Tell me what happens.. :)

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  • Relationships are fragile. First of all you need to ask yourself why you kissed your ex and you need to re-evaluate your current relationship with your girlfriend. If you are convinced that what you did was a mistake and that you really want to be with your girlfriend, confront her, but make sure it's subtle. She may be hurt in the beginning, and need space to figure things out, but if what you guys have is real, I'm sure she'll give you a second chance. Because she's going to find out sooner or later; your ex could use this against you. Do what you think is best! Good Luck!

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  • You should tell her. Every relationship should be built on trust and honesty. You broke that trust, and obviously feel guilty about your actions. The right thing to do is to be honest with your girlfriend about your mistake.

    Of course this could end your relationship, but it's the right and mature thing to do.

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    • I can actually appreciate your point of view, but think about it this way... if you don't know about his indiscretion, and he's already come to the conclusion that it was a mistake that will never happen again, do you REALLY want to know? Or would the relationship actually have more legs if you're kept in the dark. What you don't know, and never learn, can't hurt you.

    • Yes, of course I would want to know. Because obviously there has to be something wrong with the relationship for cheating to occur. You don't just cheat on someone you love for no reason. If you have the urge to cheat on the person you're with and act on those thoughts, then you don't want to be with that person. It's plain and simple.

      And to act like nothing happend is despicable and decietful.

What Guys Said 2

  • For God's sake man, don't tell her! I agree completely with bobair. It was a mistake that you can't take back. Don't exacerbate it. Telling her would only ruin the foundation of your somewhat new but potentially good relationship. I see that some of the girls' responses say things like relationships are built on trust so you should tell her; while it is true that relationships are built on trust, I disagree with the claim that you should tell her about your mistake. Because relationships ARE built on trust, you telling her about something like this (especially this early in your relationship) would break the trust she has in you, and she may not give you the chance to earn it back. I know how guilt feels, but telling her about it would only make things worse. Live with it, don't make the same mistake again, and you'll be okay.

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  • And they deceit begin... you think she deserves that?

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