How do I help him feel more comfortable with our friendship/ possible relationship?

I've been talking to this guy since Christmas break. we've never met in person, but he's friends with some friend of mine so I know he's not a creepy old man or anything... but he is just 3 months short of 4 years older than me. He's constantly showing interest in me and we talk all the time, nonstop on weekends. this weekend we got very deep, playing a game of never ending 20 questions. we talked about everything from kissing and relationships to vacations and philosophies. Last night he asked me what I thought we were and admitted that he'd talked to a friend about us to try and figure it out. I told him I felt we were supposed to be more than friends in time and he said that we had a very strong connection and get along so well, but he'd been hurt before and we were moving really fast and that scared him a bit. I agreed that we were moving too fast and that I was afraid as well. He's usually pretty good about texting back, but he never texted back to that... I decided to give him space today, but need help knowing what the right thing to say to him tomorrow is. Please and thanks for your help darlings!


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What Girls Said 1

  • I think you should wait. Just act like nothing happened unless he wants to talk about it. But your 17, I think you should live a little first. He is 20, 21, he is about 4 years older than you. I think you should date guys your age. Maybe ones you know in person. Or arrange to hangout with him and some of your mutual friends first. Get to know him in person, and have a physical connection first. Make sure you connect physically. I know everybody says looks don't matter, but in reality they do. If your not physically compatible, or not attracted to him, then it will put a strain on your relationship. Whether people want to admit it or not, looks count. Because you don't wanna be grossed out if you get in a relationship and he tries to kiss you. I say just meet him as a friend first, and explore that. Then try a relationship. Don't mention before and just continue on unless it comes up. Then say what you feel is right in that moment. Even if you are scared too.

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    • Thank you for your opinion! I agree that we need to meet in person! we were going to over Christmas break, but didn't get the opportunity to. I'm gonna be 18 soon, he will be 22 about 3 months before that. I've tried guys my age, younger, slightly older... this isn't the oldest guy I've talked to, but it is still an interesting difference to try. He's obviously more experienced than me I life in general, but I don't think that'll be a problem. We have the same morals and boundries. The main problem is, i'm in OH and he's in KY... I think it's a good idea to not bring it up, but if he doesn't text me tomorrow, should I text him? just to start a normal conversation? oh, and we're definitely connected physically... we send the occasional selfie (we are clean children too, so don't even start) to each other and we've talked about the attraction we have to each other... that's one of our main set backs, both of us having low self esteem and rarely, if ever, receive compliments, so it's weird

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    • No problem, and thanks I would appreciate that :) Let me know if you need any more help.

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