How to deal with guarded girls?

I am dating this girl and she is really open with me, but I think she's guarded. When I asked her out on dates I know she's had a good time. Last week she texted me that she had such fun on this date.

I tell her open things and she always texts back "thanks for being open".

She doesn't look me in the eye when she talks, she's usually looking elsewhere. When she leaves, she will always look me in the eyes.

She got in a pattern of texting me and now she's a bit silent.

She's talked to me about the duds she's dated and I always got the sense she was a bit guarded or easy to screw up with her.

How do I approach this girl? She's very very attractive.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I was this way for years, and this wasn't how I started... a past relationship screwed up my emotions and look on every relationship. I still have issues looking people in the face during convos bc my ex said a lot of hurtful things. This might be the case with the girl you like. Just take it slow and let her know that she can trust you, try to show it more than just saying it- bc we r so used to the words! Open up with her and make her feel appreciated. She will come around. You just have to make yourself seem different than the typical "asshole". And it might take time (don't take tooooo much time) but when her walls come down she will be a completely different girl... and happy!!!

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    • I am guessing she is guarded, but I don't know..

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    • I think that was a while ago. I don't know, she's very guarded, but I'm pretty nice to her... I might be too "nice guy" to her

    • It's confusing because... we had a great weekend together (maybe not). She was texting me all day Friday and last week. Yesterday, not at all and not today. My thinking is that something happened during the weekend when we were hangin gout

What Girls Said 2

  • Usually women are guarded because a past relationship left them broken. So it took her awhile to put the pieces back together and isn't going to lower her walls for just anyone. It just takes time for her to feel comfortable and trust you. You can't expect her to tell you all her secrets after a month. I know I don't let guys close to me because I kept getting burned when I did.

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    • No of course not... But I have to be careful. Like I am sure it's possible to kiss her too soon

  • Back off a bit.. she'll wonder why if she's interested in more with you.

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    • I just read this. I called her during lunch but she didn't pick up... hopefully not bad.

      So if I back off now is that good?

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    • How many attempts at contact after her not responding?

    • I called her once (during lunch) and nothing back. I texted her Monday night, asking how was, and she asked how I was, I responded and no response after...

What Guys Said 1

  • Don't bother with her, it's the easiest way to deal with it. Find a more secure woman.

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    • Do you think it's not worth it?

    • Depends on how much you want to work. I'm usually pretty busy, and since I value my time, I don't want to spend it fighting to land an insecure woman. She should be boosting my life, not draining it.

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