How long do you need to go out on dates & hangout/hookup for before you figure out what your relationship is?

I've only been with this guy for a little over a month, I'm just wondering.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I hate this kind of question, totally puts me off. If I'm dating a girl then I'm not going to be dating other women. This question is essentially impossible to answer because it doesn't mean anything. She either trusts me, or she doesn't, by asking this question she basically tells me she doesn't trust me.

    What kind of answer would you expect? Marriage? Break up? Just let it be. If you need to explicitly identify the status of your relationship then it means your relationship is trying to pretend to be something it isn't. If you love him and he loves you then that's all you need. Anything else is meaningless trifles.

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    • I think she's asking about at what point you have the talk and decide to be official/exclusive... I think most people would agree that just going out with someone a few times doesn't make you an item, and certainly not exclusive. There's gotta be a verbal agreement at some point.

    • yes thank you @Sara413 , it's not so much that I don't trust him, I just want to know what he wants from it... In the past, I waited too long & got attached to find out a guy didn't want to date me, just wanted to keep acting like a couple but for him (and not me) to be allowed to talk to other people.

What Guys Said 2

  • Hold off on the "where is this going?" question for a while, this puts tremendous pressure on the guy. let things flow naturally but if he takes you home to meet mommy rest assured he considers you his serious girlfriend. before that it's always casual.

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  • Just ssk in q non attacking judgmental way he'll either say what he wants or what he thinks you want.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I think if it's only been a month it's better to go with the flow. Every relationship is different. It can be relatively casual in a month, or serious. It just depends.

    What I do know, is that as a rule, men move slower with this sort of thing. A month is probably too soon if he hasn't brought it up. If after another month or two you're still in limbo, I'd bring the conversation up yourself, and be prepared to walk if he's still not ready for exclusivity.

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  • I don't go off a general timeline.. when I start to feel an attachment to the person, that is when I bring the subject up. It could be after only a couple weeks, it could be longer..

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  • It varies for everyone. It depends on how readily and deeply you connect. It took about three dates before my boyfriend declared me his girlfriend haha. For some it takes 20 or 30.

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  • I agree with most of these questions. For now just let things go with the flow. I kind of did the mistake of asking where me and the guy I have been seeing were a month after we started "dating". It did put pressure on his and he explained that to me. Luckily he's very big on open communication, so everything is still good. But yea... a month might be too soon. haha. Just enjoy it for now and wait another month unless he brings it up then you can talk with him about how you feel.

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