Why is he dating a white girl?

So I am happily involved with this guy but I know he has a thing for women with darker skin. You know ebony women, middle eastern, latinas/lolitas and all that. I don't mind, but it just makes me wonder why he settled for a white girl like me when I have no ethnicity or the dark skin ( I do however have the brown hair and brown eyes that he really likes). But he constantly checks out black women and spanish women all the time and it bothers me. Looking is fine but I know that he is checking out women for more of his type. Which is fine I mean check out others too but I am just getting worried. And for porn he looks at these women all the time. And trust me the porn does bother me either I watch it all the time to, just not for specifics. I mean when it really boils down to it I just want to know why he chose to go out with a white girl instead of his true taste in women. Clearly the attraction his still there for them. I just don't want the day to come when he finds that hot exotic woman and I'm gone. Trust me I'm not trying to complain or worry too much (which partially I am)I just really need some clarity as to why he chose me. Idk. Anyway it's not too much of an insecurity problem either. It's I don't want to get too serious and he leave me or something.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He loves your personality I guess skin colors not all that important. Although I bet he finds you plenty sexy. I don't really have a picture of you. I imagine he's into curvier women maybe you are not as far off from his type as you think. But even though my tastes tend to be for the latina women I don't exclude white women as possiblilites that would be racist, there are plenty of beautiful white girls, like yourself I am sure and Russian girls omg that accent drives me crazy but at the end of the day personality and love and commitment is more important. And even if you don't believe that romantic bull honky I just stated someone doesn't have to look like your perfect fantasy to have some hot sex. Do you have a nice butt lol I mean women's bodies are women's bodies there are curvy skinny tall short big breasted little breasted women of every race. I have a thing for short curvy women with a cute face and a round booty especially with long hair, these tend to be latina but there are white girls that look like that and I find them hot. I also fell in love with a stick figure type girl who wasn't exactly bootylicious or breastalicious for that matter she's a beautiful person that just sort of glows from the inside out and she has grreat hair. She was also naturally a stick figure not some celebrity on a fancy diet. The difference between the races really only amounts to the paint job, skin color hair ect. Well its good your more open minded than other girls about looking. I love looking , at women of every nationality, and my college has got a lot of foreign students. This is more about appreciating the beauty of humanities diversity and the female body that we are hopelessly obsessed with and occasionally enjoying the diversity of humanity with my computer and my hand lol not gonna lie. I mean my fantasy is to have sex with a woman from every country in the world, maybe in the same week I never get tired in my fantasy. I'm not gonna do it I don't cheat its just a healthy fantasy. And no porn is not in any way a replacement for a real woman and as long as it doesn't effect you 2 having a fulfilling sexual relationship it really is harmless fun. If the looking is too much talk to him about it. If It makes you feel insecure let him know ask him what it would be like if you were always talking about guys you thought were hot that looked really different than him. If you like watching porn watch some porn with him were some all american white cheerleaders blow the entire football team I'm sure he won't compain. Its sounds like your a bit racist yourself honey. Any time your about to use the word exotic you are probably gonna say something racist. Besides looks don't tell you how "exotic"someone is. Plenty of dark skinned people are as Americanized and hollywoodized and only speak English as white people. Have some confidence your sexy and you have no reason to be ashamed of your heritage, everybodys ethnic

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What Guys Said 9

  • At first I was like 'she's paranoid' but it sounds like you have a case here. Like I've dated a lot of women, black, white, asian, hispanic, oriental, mixed...they all knew I prefer black women overall, but when I was dating say a white girl, like my ex I never ever checked out other women while we're together. Actually she was everything I needed and I wasn't putting no black women on her level. So it sounds like you may have a cause for concern- I suggest you let him know your concerns and see how he deals with it, if he's willing to change to prove his faithfulness then why should you worry?

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  • Some people aren't that shallow, many of us have our preferences, but they aren't deal breakers if someone does not possess every single one of them. I'm guessing you have much more to offer than the color of your skin that makes you worthwhile to him.

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    • Thank you. That was very nice to here. I know that it is true too, but still I am just reading too much into it I guess.

    • Well at least you can see the good in yourself, many people cannot. He has to be with you for a reason, but if it is something that weighs that heavily on your mind, to the point it causes problems, maybe bringing it up to him lightly would ease your mind.

  • Well it may be that he loves your personality and that to him is more attractive than just your ethnicity. Besides he obviously does like your color and how you look or else he would not of payed any attention to you at all..And he simply does find those other women attractive it doesn't mean he will actually leave you for them he obviously like you and wants to stay with you. I suggest you sit him down and just ask him this question yourself. Its not a hard question and you'll get a clear cut answer.

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  • You ever read the book "He's just not that into you?" Neither have I... but I don't need to.

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  • Based on what you wrote, I think he's just merely dating you for the experimentation.

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  • It sounds to me like what he sees in you, is strong enough to override his default preferences. Which is a good thing, don't you think?

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  • cuz white girls are the sexiest, and the other girls are just fetishes!...in my opinion

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  • Man is a knot into which relationships are tied.

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  • Don't let it get you down. I married a hispanic woman (I am a hispanic man). But I really have a hot spot for borwn latinas, black and middle eastern women. But I show my wife the respect of not leaving my porn on the PC and not checking anyone out when I am with her.

    I care very mush about my wife, and she does satisfy me sexually, but I am not about to run off on her with one of the women.

    Believe it or not, men can seperate love from sex. I think maybe that's the case here too.

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What Girls Said 7

  • some guys have preferences. yeah I'm like you - Eurasian. some guys don't go for me. some guys go for you know "white" so...and also other factors-but you can't change what they want. the best you can do is find a guy who isn't as shallow and understands you.

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  • Just because you are extremely attracted to a certain race, does not mean you may end up with someone of another race. I love black men, but I also date people of my same race. I would not date someone solely on their race, but personality plays a big role and yes appearence. He may actually like you for you, and you can still be beautiful to a person even though you are not the typical race he would go for. (:

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  • oh come on, he likes you. HE- LIKES -YOU.

    i prefer white guys but I had a long-term relationship with someone who isn't white. it's not settling if you love the person.

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  • I think you should ask him, and not us! :)

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    • I did. He says he just likes the dark hair and dark eyes. But he has also said before he really likes women with ethnic background and all that. And up until now he has dated dark women so I am one of the first white girls he has dates. He is white as well, in case I didn;t state that before.

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    • I know he does. Its just I don't want to lack the looks that he wants. Which obv I do I can't change the way I am. And he is with me which makes it a whole lot better, but like I said I am just scared of losing him.

    • Well like you said, you can't change the way you look... And if he can't stay with you because of your skin color, or ethnicity, then he is WAY shallow!! And also, if you feel uncomfortable being with him because he's checking out other girls etc, maybe you'd be better off without him.

  • I think that's beautiful. You know he really loves you becayse he didn't settle, he picks you over women that he would consider perfect. You're not perfect but you're perfect for him. I think you should be more happy than skeptical.

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  • Why are you thinking that he "settled"? White girls are exotic to non white guys... and anyways, his past likes or dislikes shouldn't matter!

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  • Isn't a lolita pedo-bait? I hope he's not interested in them.

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