Do guys avoid intimidating women?

I don't want to sound superficial but I just found out from some guys at my school, that apparently a lot of guys find me attractive. I get flirted with a lot but it never seems to go any further. One of my close guy friends told me it's because I'm intimidating. What does that mean? And how do I become less intimidating? I don't understand how I'm intimidating because honestly I'm nice to everyone. the guy I currently like has been flirting with me, but again it never goes anywhere.

Updates:
Right now the guy I like has been joking around by bring up prom, he fake promposed a couple days ago, he did it as a joke, but I think he actually wants to take me to prom, we're both going to a party on Saturday, so I'll see him there, but I don't understand why it's taking so long, I'm not sure if he finds me intimidating, but I just want him to actually ask me to prom.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Let's assume your one of the "pretty people" (since you post anonymous and no picture, there is no way to know). So if your the hot girl that is part of the popular group.. then your going to have this issue through life.
    The better looking and hotter the woman, the more most guys will stay clear of her. Except for the shallow moronic "pretty people" men...
    the hotter the woman the more high maintenance she usually is and the bitchier she usually is. Obviously there are always exceptions to every rule. but since there is no way to know this, your going to have that assumption on you. No guy wants to deal with that. On top of that, your going to have every guy in the place wanting you, even if they don't go after you. So we will assume your going to throw us out as soon as a hot guy comes in. Why deal with that? I am no brad pitt/george clooney. So lets say I go to a bar or if I am in high school and there is a group of girls (I don't do either but for example purpose). I am going to throw out the hottest and ugliest and work with what is left. usually I will pick the girl that is like 3rd best looking in the group. she is usually the hotest for me.
    If they all look like they are out of my league, I just move on and don't bother. nothing like a whole table of bitchy women.
    So if your in high school... are you or have you dated the hot 'pretty' guys? captain of the football team? any of the 'popular guys" who of course are the biggest assholes in school. if so, nobody but those guys are going to want you. Plus, since they can also have their pick, even if you date them they will treat you like crap.
    You want to be treated like a princess? date a nerd. I was a nerd in school. I dont know what is considered a nerd nowadays though. when I was in school it was anyone into computers and getting good grades. none of the girls are into us so we spent all our time thinking about how good we would treat them if we had them.

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What Guys Said 53

  • I wouldn't avoid a woman because she's too pretty or otherwise talented. I wouldn't find that intimidating.
    You're quite possibly getting your body language wrong, and they are just describing it as "intimidating". Eye contact is especially important, and if you can't look someone in the eye, you won't appear friendly. You will appear disinterested and not wanting to be approached.
    I've seen some women do this, and immediately thought "They are either totally not interested or just very bad at picking up men". Most men won't waste their time with that, and will just look elsewhere.
    This is summed up well in Tracey Cox's book "Superdate". You could probably find a copy for less than $10. Even her "Pocket Superdate", which I assume is abridged, covers it well.
    You might find some useful things in this too, but it's a long read cdn.preterhuman.net/.../...20Love%20with%20You.PDF

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  • Intimidating = to strong willed or in some way threatening. Either you have very strong opinions that make the guys feel that you a dominance freak or they just feel threatened by you for some reason.

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  • Guys get intimidated when the girl they like is beautiful (i. e. could have any guy), and the guy is still unsure whether the girl likes him enough to date him. Remember, guys have feelings too, and we get hurt when a girl we really like rejects us. It's happened to every guy. We meet a girl, she talks to us and seems interested, and then when we ask her out, she gives us the "awwww, you're sweet, but I only see you as a friend" brushoff.

    If you want things to progress, put some signals out there that you like the guy. Too often girls feel like giving signals will be interpreted by guys as desperation, but this isn't the case. It will more likely be perceived as interest, which will result in a higher proportion of ask-outs.

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  • Do you have 'resting bitch face'? A girl who looks pissy or disinterested/preoccupied may be I guess.
    A girl who appears 'intimidating/stuckup/bitchy' is less likely to be approached.
    If you're talking to them and flirting already, you're not showing enough interest I guess.

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  • The more beautiful/successful/confident the woman, the bigger the balls required to talk to her and capture her attention. Don't think that just because you seem nice it is easy for a some teenage boy to gather the courage to talk to you. With age we get jaded and if you are very attractive you won't be able to get rid of men but for now patience is recommended.

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  • well, if it's just that you're really hot, then that alone will do it and there's not much to be done about it. they may feel like "this chick could have any man. she's probably used to the coolest guys. i'll never measure up". and even if they think you're head over heels, there's still "oh my god what if I mess this up? she's so incredible i couldn't handle losing her".

    I had a major crush on one girl though who was smoking hot yet I didn't feel intimidated because I'd developed a friendship with her and gotten comfortable before I started viewing her sexually (still not sure how that worked. It was like one day I realized "wait a minute, she's HOT!". lol)

    anyway, you COULD try making the first move.

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  • It means they think you wouldn't be interested in them because you are too pretty, too smart, too rich, too something so they don't pursue you. OTOH you probably don't think you are all that and would be happy for some attention. Let the guy you like know that you like him. Just say "Why haven't you asked me out?" This is better than you asking him directly which is a little bit emasculating. But it tells him that it's safe for him to ask. If he still doesn't ask you he's gay or dead.

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  • It may be that you are *so* stunning that some guys think they wouldn't have a chance with you anyway?

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  • Exceptionally beautiful women ARE intimidating yes. The guys probably wrong for generalizing gorgeous women as being prude, or superficial, or vain, etc ... Some women appear to be "untouchable" in the eyes of their pursuers because they almost expect to be turned down by a gorgeous woman to the point where some guys avoid the situation altogether and never approach you. This is "the guys" fault, not yours though. Its just a shame.

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  • Maybe the guy "that you like" is trying to take relationships seriously, that's why regardless of him flirting with you, he's trying to think if he sees himself as being more than just a friend with you.

    The question I really like to know is, do girls also be trying to avoid guys who seem intimidating, due to his hot looks?

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  • I've never really met any intimidating women so I wouldn't know but if and when I ever meet one I doubt I would avoid her.

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  • Same problem here i have the theory is because our eye contact I stare at girls right in the eyes and im super chill and friendly with every one im the kind of guy that loves kids volunteer the full weekend and knows the name of the school cleaning staff. but maybe we intimidate with eye contact

    Or probably we give the false ipresion of im to good for you ):

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  • Guys around your age tend to over think stuff and are usually too scared to go up to chicks and just say hey good looking

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  • I know when I was younger I found it very hard to ask a girl out no matter if she was "intimidating" or not by the again just being very pretty can be intimidating to some, as they think you are probably out of their league haha, I'd probably get a good friend to tell this lad that you like him, trust me as this is what a lot of my friends in high school asked me to do for them :)

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  • Some guys might seem dislikened to his friends or the public if an intimidating girls puts him on the spot. He may say and act like she's a B, but I know a strong and sexy know-it-all is highly, highly sought after, but tough to break the ice if the girl is just too "tough and unbreakable". All guys wanna feel that we can and should support our lady often and always, make sure you let us do that

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  • Some women are intimidating for various reasons. Some because of beauty, some for brains and some for shear size of boobs which can be calculated by a mathematical formula of boob/boys age=insecurity factor.

    At the end of the day, it's an insecurity because of something you posese that is found attractive. Revel in it, don't try to change it. Sooner or later a alpha male type man won't be intimidated by you and that's the man that will make you happy and give you a good knocking through.

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  • hahaha, no, in fact i almost got into an argument with one of the most intimidating, confident and domineering girls in my sixth form, apparently i almost got punched in the face

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  • It may be hard to grasp your attention. Or you don't react how the girls they tune themselves into do. always be More of you never less. Time waits for no "wo"man

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  • maybe you just look intimidating or you act intimidating on instinct. but yea most guys dont like intimidating woman

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  • its because you're nice to everyone that it makes it hard for guys to read whats going on. you have not made you're intentions clear

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  • If they tend to act all stuck up and act like they are too good to associate with me, I'll turn them a cold shoulder. I just prefer to treat people the way they treat me.

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  • I used to, but more and more I feel like I should approach girls that do intimidate me. I'm more intimidated by the feeling of rejection than anything else. I need to work on that.

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  • Smile more, have a sense of humor, be friendly and you will more approachable and less intimidating.

    Please ask specifics about what makes you intimidating.

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  • I feel it only depends on if the guy is confident enough. This is the reason you hot girls like you are rarely approached if you go out, because most guys lack confidence and don't believe they can talk to you.

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  • when guys say women are intimidating it's either because you take the initiative when it comes to flirting and that makes them feel emasculated or they are really shy and awkward and you simply scare them

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  • some guys are too immature and they usually enjoy doing this to girls but to me i dont like to intimidate girls it just doesn't feel right.

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  • Unless they are carrying a loaded gun looking to take down someone, I do not find women intimidating.

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  • I do, especially when the girl is smoking hot and has guys hitting on her everywhere.

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  • I do most of the time, but when a woman tries to take advantage of that I may try to get back at her verbally.

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  • I don't know. I've never met an intimidating woman. I don't even know what an intimidating woman is.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Maybe you don't come off as easy and guys at your school think you'd be a waste because your not putting out. If you're nice and friendly then intimidating probably isn't the real reason, its probably that they think you won't put out.

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  • Depends what your friend means by intimidating. Is this due to your looks, your height, intelligence, the way you speak, etc?

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  • I just came for that point

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  • No, my ex boyfriend thought I was intimidating when we first started speaking and we had a happy year together before he fell out of love with me

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  • well, all men are thief.

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