Am I handling her rejection well?

Long story short, I asked a girl I thought was still interested in me out, hoping she would give me a second chance. She said no, she had feelings for someone else. I told her it was okay and I wasn't mad at her, which is true. I told her I respect her and her decision.

She did nothing wrong, she's just being human.

A few days later I was talking to her in person (we're from the same friend group... I see her every day at school.), and I told her I couldn't be friends with her. I said it was hurtful to me... She looked at me in denial, but I reassured her I was telling the truth and she said "well... I guess we don't talk much anyway..." and she seemed really upset. I asked her if she was upset a couple of times and she never responded. To be honest I had no intentions of being friends with her. I only see her as a potential girlfriend. It kind of hurts me to be around her considering I only see her as a potential lover, but I ignore it and I act like she isn't there.

Every time we're near each other, I act as if nothing happened. I talk to our friends like it's no big deal. She's really awkward, and quiet. I still wave to her when I see her, trying to act friendly. She waves back, but she looks at me strangely and avoids eye contact.

I feel like I'm sending her mixed signals, and causing her pain. In reality I'm just trying to be a respectful person, though I feel like I'm too naive to understand what I'm doing. I'm just trying to get over her and end it on a good note.

She's the first person to ever reject me, and I don't know what to do. I keep telling myself I don't need her, and I can find someone better though I'm not exactly prince charming and I can't help but to think about her sometimes.

How do you figure she feels, and what do you think I should do? Am I doing the right thing?


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What Girls Said 1

  • You're giving her mixed signals. I'd be uncomfortable around you too. You say it's too hard being around her yet you try to act all friendly. Which is it?

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    • Maybe I should clarify... When we're together with my friends I usually just ignore the fact that she's there, unless she says something to me. If I see her in passing, and we make eye contact of course I'll wave. There's a difference between being friends, and friendly.

What Guys Said 1

  • Yes, you are doing the right thing. When you can respect her decision not to date you, then she should be able to respect YOUR decision not to remain friends with her. If she is incapable of doing that, then it's obviously her fault and not yours.

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