What's the longest reasonable amount of time a guy should go without communicating with a girl he's interested in? Please see details?

A guy I'm interested in dating works two jobs. Occasionally, he may work both jobs back-to-back on the same day or two within a week. Lately, he's gone a few days at a time without really keeping in contact with me, because he's tired from working. I understand this, but given that we don't live close to each other and have discussed getting together and possibly beginning an LDR, we should try to keep in regular contact, even if it's only a few minutes a day. Am I wrong for thinking this way? How long should I accept him not communicating with me before getting upset or offended?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • having experience of a LDR there is no such thing for me as not having time. He's your partner, you're his. Both of you can spend at least 10 minutes every day for a phone or Skype call to hear each others voice. This is what keeps the relationship going.

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    • Thank you so much. It's nice to hear from someone who's gone through the same situation that my expectations aren't too demanding.

    • they aren't in any way demanding. The only excuse can be something like, taking a flight to somewhere or if one of you two is so sick, laying on the bed the whole day, but even there I can't imagine of at least 5 minutes time to say to your partner 'How are you today? I wish you're doing fine, Im thinking of you.''

What Guys Said 3

  • I think 10 minutes a day is not unreasonable unless he has a double shift or working both jobs that day.

    However, you also need to be good about letting him go after 10 minutes or so without making him feel guilty about doing so. You'll almost certainly WANT more, but you know going in that he's very, very busy, and will often need whatever free time he has to decompress and rest.

    But setting all of that aside, I would STRONGLY advise against entering into a LDR anyway, unless it's going to be a very temporary situation. The vast majority of LDRs that are apart more than 90 days will fail for reasons directly due to the time apart, and why waste all that time and energy? You don't even get to spend time together! And spending time together is the exact POINT of being in a relationship.

    LDRs are like making reservations for a fancy restaurant, going to the restaurant, being seated, reading the menu, putting in your order, waiting for your food to arrive, and then NOT EATING IT, and then doing that again every day. It's ultimately pretty pointless, even though it might seem exciting at first.

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  • Texting takes seconds out of your day.

    If he can't even manage that, then that shows you where you fall on his list of priorities.

    When I'm into a girl, I ~make~ time for her, no matter how busy I am.

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  • At least every day. Nobody is busy enough to not be able to spend 5 minutes to keep in touch.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Since you've merely discussed the possibility of an LDR I think you're expecting a bit too much. Wait until you're official and see if he changes. If he doesn't, then mention to him that you'd like to keep in contact at least for a few minutes every day, maybe a phone call before going to bed?

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  • I think you are right. He should spare a few minutes a day.
    I would be upset if he goes more than a day with no contact.

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