When to say I love you?

I'm a grad student. I'm 27 turning 28. I am in a professional program and I will graduate in 2016. I am NOT American. In October I met this 33 year old professional in my field.

In Jan. we put our relationship on Facebook. I know when I graduate I will stay in the U. S (in this field it makes sense). Anyways he actually listened when I told him about how hard it will be. He makes me so happy.

In my past I have had one ex with whom I tried to talk to an immigration of course we broke up not long after that. But this guy listened, understands and is unreal. I don't think about other guys. I have a met a few but I don't even consider it. I love him. Can I tell him that without having him run? I am so nervous

What if he doesn't say it back? I could live with that, if he tells me its possible in the future, but I am afraid !


Most Helpful Guy

  • If either of you love the other, you've probably already said it through your actions. Have you given each other gifts? Left each other messages just to show you care for each other? Helped each other through situations? Sacrificed or committed to do things for each other? Trusted each other with any type of physical or emotional intomacy you don't normally share?

    If so, you're just behind on comminicating. I think it seems a bit of a shame when the man isn't the first to say it though. You might know its true, but it might still be a good idea to wait until he says it at the time he chooses.

    • From an immigration stand point alone he's shown me love. But he hasn't said it... he's shy and hasn't had a great dating past. but yes, he's given me gifts. I have in return as well... I just want to tell him but I am scared and do't know if I should wait!

    • You could tell him. I'd almost say you might be better off asking him if he loves you though, or implying that you think he does and seeing how he responds.

      He probably knows you love him already, but he might not know how badly you want to hear him say he loves you.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You say it when you know it's true. Think about him and think if you did something that would make him happy even if it made you miserable would you still do it? If you would then you have your answer you actually "love" him and you shouldn't need to hide it.


What Girls Said 3

  • I'm dealing with a similar thing and really feel like saying it, I really feel it and I can say it almost constantly but I don't. But say it whenever you feel it and tell him he makes you happy too. Try to find a way to express yourself and your feelings.

    • Thanks I think I'm going to cook him his fav mea when he gets back from out of a town conference tomorrow night, and then i'll tell him how great he is. Sometimes it sucks being a girl and wanting him to say it first eh?

    • You're welcome. That sounds like a nice idea. Yeah, it does suck when it has to be you to first say it. But if you feel it, show it, and all is good, why not?

  • I think you should keep it to yourself until he tells you he loves your first... but that is just my take :)

  • when you really feel love.