How do I go about handling my boyfriend using the L word so early?

My boyfriend and I have only been together for 2 months, and while I like him a lot I know that I'm nowhere close to being at that point. And to be honest I don't think it is even possible for him to be there yet. How do I handle this situation without it causing any strain on the relationship?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • 2 months? Its perfectly normal for someone to say it by then. If you can't say "i love you" after 2 months, i don't think the relationship is going anywhere. Search yourself deep down of what you feel for him. If you can't gather the courage to say it by searching yourself, i don't think there are any deep feelings there

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What Guys Said 15

  • I used the "L" word about 2-3 months in, but I knew my girlfriend for about 4-5 years before we started going out, and she's my closest friend. She told me it makes her feel awkward, so I repress it. Tell him it makes you feel uncomfortable, and anything else that pretty much screams "Wait until you're in a better spot."

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  • I gave up on saying "I love you" to any girl because of this precise reason, I did once like a half a year in and she let me off "easy". Everything is a catch 22 for men, we're always damned if we do and damned if we don't. It amazes how women have so much power over us but always play victim.

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  • I know someone who told a woman he loved her only after talking to her for 3 hours. As it turns out he actually did love her, and she ended up loving him. And they have been together for 45 years now.

    Men know who they love when they love them. But women are dense and take time. The Sun shines brightly on the dark, dense moon. But eventually, the moon shines with his light. That's like women. They are dead, dense rock until a man shines his love on them.

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  • I've screwed up when I was younger by dropping the L word too early. Now I'm older I find that the L word is "her turf"... the woman should be first to say it.

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  • Only use it when you truly mean it! No exceptions.

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  • Two months is early so you should tell him to cool it with the L word for now but don't make a big deal out of it unless he won't drop it.

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  • Tell him you are not there yet, its that simple and if things didn't work out for you two, you wouldn't have led him on.

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  • I know a lot of L words, for instance "Limerence".

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  • He either really is in love with you or he's just saying it because it's been 2 months and eh duck it lol. I think he probably is in love with you. Damn lol I wish a girl was in love with me haha

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  • oh thats prblem

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  • If he told you that he loves you just right now, what'd be your reaction?
    Then vice versa it...

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  • Oh, I thought he was foreign and kept saying, "I lick you."

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  • Be honest ! don't be rude. And confrot him

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  • Honestly you sound clingy using that word so soon wait till he says it

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  • Whats the L word.-.

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    • I'm assuming "love"

    • Thats what I was thinking but 2 months...
      If you're not ready for the word 'Love' after 2 months then you sound not interested.

What Girls Said 14

  • Everyone develops feelings at a different rate and that's okay! Thank him for his sentiments and tell him his feelings are very important to you and he means a lot to you but you're not at that point yet. If he he says it again a happy smile and a thank you can be enough to reassure him.

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  • You need to tell him to slow down and not get too ahead of himself too soon, if he asks why and gets offended just explain how when dating there is always 1 person who takes longer to warm up to the other person and your that person this time, and ask him has he ever been with someone where the girl knew how she felt faster than he did? he probs has... or he probs was always the person who who knew how he felt quicker. guys honestly tend to know how they feel a lot faster than us girls really but it's possible that a female can know before the guy depending on the girl. So explain that to him so he knows your just not on the same page yet and that your not saying you don't like him (which you do very much), but you've only been together 2 months, so you just want to take things slow.

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  • Hmm. It depends, really. Two months is NOT a long time. For teenagers maybe, but it isn't nearly enough time to TRULY love a person with all your heart. Think about your feelings for him. What are you attracted to about him? What do you not like? You need to truly know each other before you can say you love each other. What's sad is that the word "love" is thrown about so loosely that it has almost lost its meaning in society. He may be feeling a strong infatuation for you (msot likely so) but thinks it is love, and says so, or else he thinks that is what you are supposed to say in the relationship at this point. Don't go along with it just because he says this. Spend time together, get to know each other. Only when you know each other completely and can accept each other's faults AND perks is it closer to love. I would say wait a while. If he asks, simply tell him that you cannot simply toss "love" around, and while you do have feelings for him you must know him completely before you can say love. If he truly loves you he will understand that. Good luck, my friend~

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  • I don't see the big deal. Maybe he does LOVE you... that doesn't necessarily mean he is in love with you yet, but who are you to differentiate? Just be glad he is willing to commit and see where your relationship takes you from there. I'm not into rushing things at all, but I don't see an issue with going with the flow either.

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  • I had this problem before as well. I just told him I loved him back even though I only really liked him. I didn't want to make him feel bad. After a while I grew to love him and could say it confidently. If it really bothers you though just tell him you do really like him but you're not at that point yet and you only want to say it when you know it's 100% true.

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  • with care... i was with a guy for a week and he texted me "i love you" and i thought he was messing so i replied "ha go f**k urself :p " nd we broke up the next day :P

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  • Its totally cool. Say it when you mean it

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  • I think that you have been given some great information. Let him know that you care about him, enjoy the time you are spending together, but you aren't in the spot, at this time to express those same feelings.

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  • It is waaaay to early to tell him you "love" him
    1 you'll probably just scare him some guys are scarred of commitment and also clingy girls.

    2 Instead of saying I love you say I miss you its basically the same thing with out that seriousness cause it is way to early into the relationship

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  • I would tell him your honest feelings after hearing that words, rather it being honored, flattered, confused, worried, etc and talk it out. It may be good to also realize what you truly enjoy about this person, so that while you're talking about this you can ease the blow of a heavy conversation with some 'stroking' (the term used by therapists for reinforcements and positive attributions)

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  • Just simply tell him you have those feelings as well you're just not ready to vocalize them yet because you're afraid it might change things. Believe me, it worked for me and 4 years later I'm married to the man I told that to.

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  • Just tell him what you think. but nicely. Make sure he knows you like him. Good luck.

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  • Two months is very early. I would say sit down and talk to him. Explain that you love him but that it takes a while to fall IN love. there's a difference. Psychologists say that it takes at least three months for the human brain to fall in love.

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  • Its never to early to say i love you because if you actually feel like you love the person let the world know :)

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