Why does a guy contact an ex just to say hi and how are you doing?

In relationship for 1 year and half living together and 2 times his ex and have messaged hi how are ya doing messages... should I be concerned?


1|0
21|19

Most Helpful Guy

  • I would be concerned. Many ex, s that haven't found someone or just broke up with someone allways rebound to there ex. It's so convieant to just hook up with a ex. After all , feelings never really die or fade totally away.
    Not wanting to get u upset but I wouldn't have any part of her contacting him if there are no children involved.
    Some woman just want to keep the control. They want to always know that they can get there ex back at the drop of a hat. It's a sickness !!! A lot of crazy ex, s out there. I had one that threw me a hook every few months just to re open wounds and satisfy her need to think she could have me. While in relationship with other guys even. That didn't stop her. She wrecked one relationship I was in after I moved on. Only to F off and get with the guy she cheated with that ended things in the beginning.
    Her 10 plus relationships sinse ours has all ended because she starts another b4 ending the one she's in. I call it cheating lier and biatch.
    Don't let that whore near your man

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 18

  • He misses some aspect of the past relationship. It maybe the romantic, intimate or just the friendship part... It's really hard to say. What's the conversation topic and frequency like? Im assuming he's around your age. Guys that are single at that age are usually a shifty bunch to read. i. e. (PeterPan syndrome-esque)...

    1|0
    0|0
  • "Desperation"

    1|0
    0|0
  • I have this problem.
    I cared too much for this girl despite the fact she cares so little about me.
    She's in a relationship with a soon to be divorced man who is also her supervisor at work. I just know it is going to fail and part of me thinks I can be there when it happens.
    Eh, it's pointless and I'm being foolish but it's hard to let go despite the reality of things.
    She dug that hole and likely won't be easily getting out of it leading to all sorts of problems in the future.
    We message an ex because we are still interested in them. It's irrational but some of us do it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think this common for people who may have been responsible for leaving the relationship and where it may have caused undo strain on the other person.

    It does not mean they want to get back together... they may be just trying to make amends for what they did... a little of the guilty conscience syndrome thing going on maybe?

    I am just guessing here... there could be umpteen different reasons.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Hi. How are you doing? 😎 Maybe his mixed feelings for you has him wanting to rekindle some interest in you. Maybe he values your friendship now rather than to deny the past or let any lingering resentment consume him. Maybe he just wants to make you feel guilty somehow.
    I don't know any man who wants their ex to forget them. I can see how one would though.

    0|0
    0|0
  • No, that just means that they are happy with their new lives. They are just mature enough to not forget that they once had a special connection, but not let that effect their lives now. It's no big deal, I sometimes contact my ex's to check up on how they're doing, and I'm in a happy, committed relationship and I would never think about cheating. It may be a good thing, so don't fret.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Me if I broke up with a girl I would want to still be friends at least unless she's a total bitch or thot or whatever the hell u wanna call her

    0|1
    0|0
  • You can say Hi, I'm okay, I see no harm in it. If you want to be cruel, you can say "Hey, doing better than before!".

    0|0
    0|0
  • I did that recently but this girl and I weren't really dating but we talked to each other like we were bf and gf

    0|0
    0|0
  • who broke up with who, and who sent the first contact message?

    0|0
    0|0
  • My question is, Did he reply to the ex? What is his attitude towards his ex?

    0|0
    0|0
  • well dose he have interest in her messages like he wants to see her and talk to her or still loving her if so you should be concerned.

    0|0
    0|0
  • No, some people break up because it's not working out, unlike others that hate each others guts.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Perhaps they ended relationship because they were both better off as friends. I've been there, done that. I wouldn't get mad or suspicious unless it goes beyond the friend zone/occasional " hi how are you" text. Many people say "Hi how are you" via texts or posts to social media sites today to those they barely know or haven't seen in several years, especially with the recent popularity of social media.

    0|0
    0|0
  • No, she might want to be friends with him. I would keep a eye on how it develops than if he is changing his focus on your relationship than have the talk.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I wanted to call ex actually, we weren't really that together to say Hi, how it is.. I don't want to be with her again, but I just want to be at least friend with her. To help her, if she's got problems or anything like that..

    0|0
    1|0
  • In terms of just that message alone, I don't think it's anything more than friendly. Maybe they are good friends. Imagine if you were in that situation. If it's innocent then I guess it's fine. A secret hookup or meeting would be weird, but if it's all open then I think it's normal.

    Could you help me with mine pls about a female friend? I'm confused. Would appreciate it! www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1370383-is-this-flirty-female-friend-into-me-am-i-into-her-why-do-i

    0|0
    0|0
  • Loneliness.

    0|1
    0|0

What Girls Said 21

  • The general rule of thumb is that you DON'T try to randomly initiate conversation with an ex... especially if they are with someone.. and especially if you haven't been present in their life since the break up... unless you are trying to rekindle what you once had.

    1) Why does she have his contact info
    2) Why does he still have her contact info
    3) What has their relationship been since the break up? Was it "see you later asshole" or "let's remain friends"?
    4) Has he responded to any of her texts? If so, what types of responses?

    I would be sure not to be too intrusive of his phone or email because it feels like an invasion of privacy and "clingy". But, if you have reasons to not trust him, do you really want to be with him?

    Communication with him is key. Let him know it bothers you that his ex is reaching out and leave it at that. If he really loves and cares about you, he should easily block her from contacting him and be done.

    However, if he wants to remain in contact with this ex, depending on the situation, that could be a red flag.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Interesting on the guys v girls thing here...

    For him it is probably politeness... for her she most likely misses him. I messaged my ex husband for a long time when my life wasn't measuring up... however he replied and helped me the way he knew i needed. We did not discuss getting back together as it was simply not an option. He is with you.

    0|0
    0|0
  • If things ended badly then it's usually because they're trying to assuage their guilt. Either that or he's feeling lonely.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Yes you should. You should figure out if he's been contacting her first tho. But if not then you should really discuss this with him and tell him if he still have feelings for her or what he plans to do when she contacts him again. But if he does messages her back that could be a problem. Just pay attention.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Because of the simple fact that he misses your presence.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's unfortunate but exs usually resurface from time to time on both sides. It depends on his reaction. Does he talk to her? I don't believe in ex as friends because some will start trouble and wreck a relationship or marriage.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't think so. Its only been twice n a yr n a half. Maybe they split on good terms. Who knows. N if its only a "Hi. How ya been?" type deal then let it slide. But keep a close eye on it. Cuz if the conversations turn different or are more frequent, then I'd start getting mad n suspicious.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'm confused, did your boyfriend text his ex to say hi or is your ex texting you to say hi? Need more clarification

    1|0
    0|0
  • My ex was the same... I think it depends on where theyre at in life... generally it is for reassurance I think... that you are ok/ didn't die from a broken heart/ don't think they're a bad person.

    He maybe checking out if you're still free. .. but if he doesn't ask you out after a few messages I would say it's more to do with the above.

    0|0
    0|0
  • mostly it is a control issue. They feel like they are always in control of the situation, whereas women are not and will cheat. It's almost like they feel like they can do what they want.

    0|0
    0|0
  • To keep the woman on a string or if another relationship failed to see if there's still a chance for a hookup or comfort session.😕. At least that's what I have heard from friends who went through this.

    0|0
    0|0
  • No you shouldn't be concerned they were probably friends before having a relationship and checking up on one another is not a bad thing

    0|0
    1|0
  • Maybe he just wants to see how ur doing

    0|0
    0|0
  • because no matter what you still care about the other person! and no dont be worried

    0|0
    0|0
  • yes ask him abd are you snooping?

    0|0
    0|0
  • its depends on how long th3e relationship with the exs was but I would just keep my eyes open if you know what I mean

    0|0
    0|0
  • No, u should not be concerned The ex has moved on and just said hi to knw how the other person is. Some exes say hi and again start a conversation to get in a relationship again. But all people r not same so dnt worry.

    0|0
    0|0
  • He shouldn't be replying to it his ex obviously wants him back

    0|0
    0|0
  • How rude, tell him to block her number

    0|0
    0|0
  • Maybe he's ready to be friends

    0|0
    0|0
  • Maybe she's unsatisfied in her current relationship and thinks your bae would be a good hook up... or she misses him... or something

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...