Why do men go for uglier average women? pretty women are discarded?

Question

it seems the only pretty women who are taken are celebrities.. other than that, these days theyre usually outcasted or discarded. men only want and fall in love with really fugly looking women and no not ones with good personalities.. many are repulsive. I remember a guy marrying a girl right out of high school- she looked like a boy. I mean, you'd think she would be single her whole life--no she met someone and he was decent looking. A photographer i knew, his wife i mean she looked like drew carey--exactly.. she was really fat and looked like a man and he once said "even tho my wife was naked with me on the bed and i didn't want sex" as if, i didn't want sex DESPITE her being there.. what really? 

its REALLY confusing.. every average to ugly female i know is ALWAYS taken.. every really hot girl i know is ALWAYS single. its baffling that men want really ugly women.. they just do. they scowl at women like me or others i know.. who are pretty. they reject us treat us like dirt and get an ego trip off it. I've had men GROWL at me angrily.. they make fun of me. i see ugly women with blah personalities.. with decent looking guys.. but women who are appealing and looks personality everything.. men don't want..

i remember in college all us girls wanted this one guy.. he totally was sick of women wanting him.. later he married this homely weird girl.. like wait he passed up lots of pretty nice women for just a blah girl. i see lots of guys married to super ugly women.. repulsive women.. like the kinds u think people in school made fun of.. fat, ugly weird. these women are SUPER confident and arrogant and even make fun of the pretty women. even a guy i knew in HS.. really fat people made fun of him.. even he's married..

i know lots of pretty and nice girls who are cool and all single.. i know dd gorgeous women who are single.. i know one hot girl who had no friends and was a slave to people cuz she had no friends.. wtf is going on here.. its revenge of the ugly people who are abusing hot women

Theguyoverthere · Accepted Answer

What you see as "ugly" can be the world to them. You may also think they have a "Blah" personality but if they click with that person then they're happy. It's really not that hard to please a guy. Maybe those guys want a "Blah" personality so they can relax and enjoy life. If anything, a rant like this proves that many guys out there don't just blindly go after "supermodels" and actually want to connect with girls on a more personal level.

From what I also notice, many guys will assume that the more physically attractive a girl looks, that the more she'll "demand" in a guy.

Most guys out there really just want to relax and enjoy the girl's company and share common interests, etc. But having looked around at these "hot girls" online through dating sites I'd constantly find profiles outright stating these lists of "must have's" in a guy. They'd range anywhere from the place the have, college degree, the type of car they drive, and they'd even nitpick as far as to demand a specific style of haircut the guy must have.

Having seen enough of these lists out there it's easy for a guy to be jaded. So if you want to land a decent date these days you'll never to separate yourself from all the stereotypes guys now notice with physically attractive girls.

With that said, there are also plenty of guys I do see actually chasing strictly pretty girls and these guys do get treated like dirt and/or get rejected. Yet they put no effort into their own appearance and will assume they have so much "in common" with a girl when they're just blinded by her looks.

Johnagain · Accepted Answer

My take on this is that most men are a little intimidated by women who are gorgeous like you say. Perhaps, while not wanting to hurt the feelings or disgrace their ugly mates, their happily stuck with them having been easier conquests and more convenient arrangement for reasons other than sexual pleasure, vanity or pride. Those in love with ugly ones with bad personalities are settling and or being sucked into co-dependency and might not be the type of boys you want anyway.
Others find themselves resenting the finest females around because of insecurity and failed past attempts to get with them.
A lot of these men's choices and behavior has to do with how they we're raised. I find that in General, males are thought to deal with females differently than females. Right from todlerhood we are at a deficiency (all be it slight & compensated for by advantages in men's positions in life), when it comes to communicating our urges attractions or our preferences to your gender.
We like you though... we wanna sex.
My personal reason for avoiding finer women is their high maintenance and a mental health issue. I find that however good looking they are, the more crazy they are. And I'm not fucking crazy.

stilllearning77 · Accepted Answer

I experience the same exact issue. I'm always told that I walk 'regally', my poise is intimidating, I'l pretty, tall I'm fun, smart, etc. But I think I do walk that way to avoid attention because the attention comes automatically from the height thing I think especially. At 5'11, once you put on heels and look well put together then you've got construction workers, horrific guys, scary guys hooting, yelling, saying yo baby, you sure looking fine, mmm, mmm, mmm. Well that is certain not what I'm looking for so I think I walk and focus straight ahead to avoid it at times when its not something I'm looking to attract. However, even when I am I always end up with a total jerk that runs me over, puts me down especially if anyone tells me how beautiful I am. I agree, being pretty, smart, tall and such has done nothing but bring me trouble and BS!!! I'm one of the most loving, compassionate, kind hearted people... I don't get it either... so I'm with you on this topic!!! And also I'm with you on the fact that most guys are with uglier, homely looking girls either that have let themselves go, gotten too comfortable, etc. I work hard to never let that be the case for my man. Of course no man now, and not sure how long it will take me to get back into dating again. The last one choked me, threw me down, kicked me out into the garage and let's just say it wasn't a one time thing. Had him arrested, protective order. I'll keep my pretty self HOME and alone for a while now.

booklovergirl25 · Accepted Answer

I so agree with whatever you are saying. I am slim like ramp models, have an above average height for a girl, beautiful sharp features and to top it all, people tell me that I have a big heart and I am very good natured. Guess what I am 26 and still single. I get approached by guys who see me for the first time. I am told I am really pretty and a good natured person, get approached by guys much younger, by married men and by single men. However, most of the guys refuse to see beyond my beauty. They would want to have just fun with me. They would say you are pretty and a great girl but that they are not looking for a relationship. I see really fat and ugly women having the most doting bfs and it makes me sad. I have guys telling me on my face that I am way out of their league so they won’t even try. I have dated some really hot guys too who loved me back but somehow they married the homely much less pretty girl. Even my hot bf’s friends would say that he wouldn’t deserve me because I am way more good looking. My male friends would not approve of my average looking bf and said that he did not match my dating standards. I would tell them that I loved him and all that mattered. I don’t understand why most men don’t want to be in a relationship with me!

Mikaychay95 · Accepted Answer

I've never really heard of men going straight for the uglier girls. Some people may call you shallow for this but I agree on some level. I have seen average/unattractive girls with boyfriends whether they were decent looking or not. I don't need to hear any of that "beauty is subjective" and "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" shit bc I'm talking about girls who strictly don't take care of themselves. I've heard of cases where guys will go for ugly girls because they are easier and more desperate therefore they are more likely to give them what they want. Also I've heard that they are less intimidating and easier to approach. In terms of prettier girls guys may be intimidated and not approach her and some guys associate pretty girls to have bad personalities which even though sometimes it's true is an unfair assumption. What confuses me is that when I was in middle school, guys didn't like me and some even called me ugly. Now that I'm older and better looking it hasn't been easier to get guys. It's like I was once teased for being ugly but now a days it seems that it's easier if you're ugly.

Brian-Brain · Answer

I'm an average looking guy and I must admit I am not good with women.

First let me turn this around. Would you rather approach a great looking guy with a nasty attitude or an average looking guy with a pleasant attitude?

I have approached some women. In my personal experience I noticed that the pretty looking ones are not as open as the not so pretty ones. If I don't feel that I am appreciated by the women than why should I continue? This is not about confidence. This is about self-respect.

Also I see that the pretty women I know rely too much on their looks. Constantly comparing themselves to other women and without realizing it putting down women with lesser looks. I would not date them. I know these women personally so it is not an assumption I am making. If I would date them I would pull my own hair out within a week.

Who knows, that weird homely girl you talk about maybe the greatest woman in the world? He probably thinks so and it sounds like he had choice in women as well. For a guy it is interesting at first that a woman looks great. But after a while you want a woman that has character. One that is a companion. One you can rely on. One you are happy with.

By the way women do the same thing. In my job I constantly hear women say about men *I won’t date him. He is good looking so he must be a player* I know the guys they talk about personally. Trust me, they are the most loyal guys you will ever meet.

Please understand. I don't know you. I have not enough info to properly judge you. But I see in your updates you do put down the lesser looking women. Stop, it will only make you bitter and less attractive.

Maybe you are attracting the wrong men? As a guy I know there are a lot of men out there you should avoid. Don't attract men by your looks. If you have a great personality show it to world. If you are smart show it to the world.

gray_sailor · Answer

Really, the problem is not even about you. Your physical beauty is assessed by a male that might approach. He considers your attractiveness as a proportionate measure of the number of men he expects to have to compete with for your attention. A stunningly beautiful woman SHOULD have a large number of men pursuing her.

Here's the problem: If the estimated number of competing men is too high, the probability of failure is too high. A high probability of failure means that approaching you is just not worth the effort.

Here's another problem: The guys you might enjoy dating are the ones that will bow out of the competition before even introducing themselves.
It's only the cockiest of the douchebags that will continue undaunted.

Your best strategy: Treat your attractiveness as the impediment that it is. You basically have to regard your own beauty as a handicap.

Step one:

Wear loose fitting plain clothing.
Put your hair in a ball cap.
Lose the makeup.
Lose the nail polish.
Lose the jewelry.

Basically, prepare yourself as you would for a day of painting your bedroom.

Then step two:

You can't wait for guys to approach you. You'll have to do all the work of introduction.

Eugene · Answer

If we're talking about absolutely stunning women, the problem is that they know about their natural beauty as use it as an advantage.

More often than not absolutely gorgeous women abuse their beauty to get what they want. They are well aware of what kind of a weapon beauty is and how to use it properly. They are spoiled by sugar daddies, bitchy, have unrealistically high standards, greedy, picky, you name a diva/narcissist trait -- they have it. They will dump a guy for a better option (in terms of money, or status, or whatever) in a second.
The small problem for them is that men are slowly getting more and more aware of that, therefore they prefer to go for average girls that actually appreciate the attention and affection shown by men, while stunningly gorgeous women take it for granted and men don't feel appreciated for their efforts.

I'd pick just a cute girl or average girl any day over stunningly beautiful one. Way more reliable and appreciative.
But definitely not ugly one :P

Anonymous · Answer

Pretty women have so many options for guys that, they have unreasonable standards, and many take their men for granted. They constantly try to control the relationship and compete with the guys on everythinge. She knows that she can more easliy replace him, than he can replace her, so she normally tries to prove that she is in charge of the relationship all the time. This means the man is forced into competition with her. After a while men learn to stereotype pretty girls negetively, and start to dislike these women as people.

The man shouldn't need to compete with women, but unfortunately guys learn failry quickly that we are expected to compete with her. The moment she surpasses her man, a lot of women start shopping for "a real man". So guys are forced into a competetion with women to some extent, in order to prove our manhood. Men are after all still expected to be "real men" in our society, and we are often shamed if we fail to live up to these standards. The women we date, is of course a part of the society that holds onto the belief of what a "real man" is suppose to be. So most women demand her man compete with her, even as she complains about him competing. Even if you were ugly, you would most likely have guys competing with you, assuming the guy likes you at all.

If you are pretty, then you have guys hitting on you all the time. If you don't see that, it is because you aren't intereset in any them, and your body language is telling these men that you have regected them the moment they start talking. So the guy leaves, before asking you out.

I am certain you are being approached more than you think. Most likely you just aren't being approached by the times of guys you like or you would notice. Most average guys appraoch in a friendly manner and look at your body language to decide if they should ask you out. If you look like you don't even see him as a man, the guy takes it as you not being interested, and won't bother actually asking you out.

Starfishlover · Answer

Human beings are complex things. One sees one as ugly, and one sees another as drop dead sexy. I have fallen in love with men who are below average in looks and penis sizes, but man the chemistry is strong. For example, I had a MASSIVE crush on a hairy man with horrible fashion sense who stank. Why? Because he was kind, gentle, and humble.

I believe men discard you pretty women because you are really bitchy. Men want a quality woman, not a horrible woman.

Maybe if you took the time to work on yourself, do a bit of soul searching and figure out what makes men disrespect you and not want you. I understand the hurt you might be in. Girl, I have been there. You feel confused because you really have something to offer, but always are put in the back burner. Maybe try to showcase your heart and talent.

Have you tried to be smart, friendly, approachable? Maybe you shouldn't make yourself too available and needy because that is what is driving them away. Just because you are single does NOT mean there is any thing wrong with you. Be thankful you aren't in a dysfunctional relationship and learn to Love yourself first. I admire that you have a positive self image about yourself so that is one thing to start off with. My mother taught me that every person has a person who is perfect for them, etched in their brain. Rest assured you will definitely find a man with YOU etched in his brain. Don’t stress, relax, have fun with your life and stop stressing about what others are doing, and just handle your business.

Trust me, improving yourself is the BEST experience ever and you will be amazed when you find out how much you have learned. Maybe get some self-help books that will teach you to be a better woman, friend, daughter, employee and when you apply that in your life, maybe someone will take notice of you. Good luck with everything xo

mukheef · Answer

I'll tell you why.

The majority of these pretty girls, usually have high expectations and standards. And guys are well aware she's out of their league. So, to save themselves the embarassment, they tend to not bother. In most cases at least. Also these girls do not act approachable... Maybe because they know they're attractive.

Anonymous · Answer

Men fights you and try to put you down!! Maybe you dated some real jerks

Anyway sometimes I find its hard to reach hot girls most of them are cocky and have high standards but its all depend on the girl how she act when in around her if she act approachable I will talk to her if she act like she's not approachable i will leave her

Also I doubt if you're over 20 :)

And let me tell you my story I asked 6 hot girls out but all of them refused bcoz they had super high standards I'm 6,2 above average I don know what they was looking for maybe brad Pitt so I got angry I saw normal girl I asked her out she said lets go right now:) back the hot girls got crazy like OMG how this guy is with this girl!! Yes cunts I asked you out but your cocky head stopped you so I didn't care at all even they chased me and it was strange and late so I stayed with the normal girl I was happy and I felt the sure beauty will not make big difference coz she had kind nice personality

You're 1 in 1000 hot girl thats humble maybe most of them want rich or somone who look like brad Pitt honestly it's true and I dont beilive when women say personality first it doesn't exist in the real life it's face first

pr3ttybr0wn · Answer

I know a guy who posted something on his Facebook to the effect of: bad chicks are not relationship material because too many other guys want them and the chances are higher she'll cheat or leave for someone else, but an average girl will be loyal and appreciate him more. It got at least 10 likes and I thought that shit was so lame. Guys who diss pretty girls obviously are insecure

PiuBelloAmante · Answer

The prettier girl the harder she is to approach
i am super nervous around hot girls
when i am around uglier girls i feel way more comfortable because i am not trying to impress them
its kind of a reversal because i end up impressing the girls i dont like and just being quiet near the girls i do like

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe you can help me, an average looking man, get a date with an attractive woman. I want to date pretty women. Most of my crushes have been fairly average or maybe a bit above average and I keep getting treated like crap by them. If I'm going to deal with the heartache and put in the effort, may as well go for a more attractive woman. I have a lot of good qualities so I feel like I can do better than the women I've been going after. I can't get you a date but maybe you can get me one with a cute girl who I can treat right.

www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1369953-question-for-attractive-women

Aud_Queen · Answer

To them, it's easier to go for the "uglier" women than the pretty ones. Sometimes they pass up really good opportunities to be with a pretty girl.

I've also seen cases where the guy stays with the "uglier" women because they don't thinm they can do better.

You sound extremely jaded and bitter. Beaury is a curse and a blessing. Don't let whatever insults you've had to endure get to you. If your nice/friendly and let the guy know your into him things will go much better. Also don't go after guys who don't respect you. And remember to use your looks for good :P No matter how bitchy females are to you, don't let it affect you. Keep your head up and keep moving.

Hopefuldreamer8 · Answer

I don't know what kind of world you live in. As an ugly woman, I get rejected all the time. I've never had a relationship. I've had both men and women make fun of me for my looks. Although women do it to me more than men do. When I get rejected, I usually ask why. If it's a personality thing I know that is something I can fix. However they always say it's because they aren't physically attracted to me. I do what I can to make myself attractive. I workout and I wear nice clothing, and I style my hair. However, my face really isn't that attractive, so I get rejected for it.

BuchitaBuchys · Answer

I guess because they aren't intimidated by us? I get hit on a good amount. I look like a boy. And men really have low standards.
Guys have a higher chance of getting with an ugly girl than pretty girl cuz they assume the pretty girl is taken or she is too high maintenance. So they avoid the pretty girls.
So average and/or ugly chicks like me get asked out more cuz they figure they at least have a chance.

That would be my guess.

Snoopy90 · Answer

Sorry to interupt your Barbie fantasy but welcome to the real world. First of all if your so pretty why did u ask anonymous😁. 2 of all it sound like your a bully. And 3 of all guys have a DAMN right to like who we want just because u think she's ugly we think she's pretty, u think she's fat we think she has a nice size. How can u go around asking dumb questions like " why do guys date ugly fat girls" and then u say some of the meanest stuff on here, don't know why guys don't like u. Wake up and smell the reality. Get it through your head guys see women different then u do. I'd take a ugly women who has a blah personality, than a pretty woman who has a personality Like u any day. If don't anwser back that means I have brought truth. ID REALLYLIKE TO SEE U COME BACK TO THAT. And stop asking dumba$$ questions.😃😃😃😃😃

dricky2011 · Answer

hello to all, have to say this is an interesting topic,

anyway, first off, for every good looking woman on here saying that they get treated badly by guys there is a guy out there who was treated badly by good looking women, it is a fact of life, there are great looking women out there who are genuinely nice people, but there are great looking women out there who treat guys like dirt and use their looks in ways that are less then admirable.
there are great looking women out there who give other great looking women a bad reputation just the same as there are guys out there who give the rest of us guys a bad rep. that is life

mistninja314 · Answer

Hey ugly guys like me have to settle for what we can get. I wouldn't approach a hot girl because I'd be too scared of getting rejected or made fun of --__--

GirlScoutsRevenge · Answer

Jesus Christ , you writing a book?

I skipped most of it because you sound like a bitter woman. Jealous of others and nasty and judgmental. Who are you to say a woman isn't attractive?

Sounds to me like you're single because you're a twat. Not because you're attractive. Attractive is not the word that springs to mind when picturing the moaning person writing this little diatribe.

Anonymous · Answer

I support you and agree with you, wanna see answers too.
I made this questiom about 3 times here, the typical answer:they look like stuck up or men are afraid of regection.
Looks like there is No way for pretty girls to get into relationship, its vicious circle...

watashiwahanadesu · Answer

Your question sounds somewhat like the female version of this question   I think you should refer to the MHO of this question for what a guy is attracted to

cavmanier · Answer

I think your perception of what's going on is waaaaaaaaaaaay off. Lots of attractive women are in relationships. If you post a pic maybe we can look at this question more seriously but I think you're most likely trolling.

Why do men go for uglier average women? pretty women are discarded?

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