Do you have a marriage checklist?

Some people have a "SO" checklist, but what I'm wondering is do you have a "must" list of things that must occur before you are ready to commit? Date for a certain number of months / years? Get along with the fam? What is your position?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Marriage isn't even on my life list, so I definitely don't have a checklist for something like that lol. Do people really treat marriage and finding a partner as if they're shopping for a car? That could be playing a role in why so many marriages are failing...

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    • Well, I think if you have failed at one (I have) you wonder about the mindset going into marriage. Heat does one feel are the criteria or guidelines they follow when they prepare to make that committment. Are there things you over look when you are caught up in thr honeymoon dating phase and what you do to deal with that?

What Girls Said 2

  • Must have mutual respect for each other, morals and all.

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  • I would have to live with him for 1 year, at least, before we actually get married.

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    • Interesting. What do you think about the studies that have shown that living together prior to marriage isn't a good predictor of marriage success? I do get a 1+ year relationship, though. I wonder if marriages are likely to be successful if marriage is proposed prior to that.

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    • here's an interesting article:
      m.theatlantic.com/.../

    • The article sounded inconclusive. I know several now divorced couples that lived together prior to marriage (possibly a similar amount to those who did not - so It seems not to be appreciable factor from my local imperical evidence sample). I agree with the article that communication is important. I also agree with the notion that really spending time to get to know the other person is important. Regardless of how it's done, spending time to get to know the person you believe might be the one is a great idea.

What Guys Said 3

  • I mean, everyone has SOME musts: "must want children" "must be open to marriage," etc.

    I don't have a five page list, though.

    In terms of the two questions you posed, I would want to date for at least a year, if not longer. I wouldn't need her to be best buds with my family, but as long as they treat her with respect then she must reciprocate.

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  • I don't have a list but I do have some non-negotiable things.

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  • Not so much of a "When to commit", but rather "I need all of this to be true and not true of her" list.

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    • So once you determined you list was satisfied, you're good to go? Ten minutes or ten years? Any "gates" beyond characteristics of her?

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    • Not just wedding financial planning (and I understand less and less why a wedding should be so expensive) but also to ensure you know the real person, I think.

    • Precisely.

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