What to do? Please help?

My fiance have been through a lot in the two years we have been together.. he has had cancer at age 28 & ' in that process i was pregnant with our 14 month old son Matthew.. it was hard but we were there for each other.. and made us stronger... about 7 months ago he left our home and went to stay with his brother (for a break) things got rough & we split up for two weeks.. he had an affair with his brothers wife while he was drunk.. after that was said and done.. i asked him multiple timez why she was so clingy to him and have they ever done anything he stated no... and invited me over to talk.. i found out later they had sex and he told her he was in love with her and that hurt so bad :'( i took him back... and we are together now.. I'm battling him looking and commenting on beautiful woman and yet saying he loves me and i ask him.. am i good enough still? He states yes I'm in live with you and i want only you.. he says I'm his love and we are doing good.. except that incedint.. i just think about that a lot & it hurts me a lot.. what do i do.. i feel unwanted and neglected at times...
-still heart broken trying to make it work?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you two should separate. I know it might be tough on the kid but I think it would be worse if the kid grew up with his parents and saw that they didn't love each other because I don't think that guy loves you. He cheats and then lies to your face about it and he hits on other women apparently open enough for you to see it. Kids aren't as dumb as we think and yours will be able to pick up on the negativity between you and him when he starts growing up. You're in a shitty situation with only really difficult decisions. I hope you can catch a break

    • Yeah its really hard & often i feel unwanted and not needed and I don't know.. i wana make it work but you can't force love..

    • Yeah sucks but now you have a little man in your life that will love you unconditionally. "Mother is the name for God in the lips and hearts of little children."-Thackeray. He won't let any guy treat you poorly from now on.


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What Guys Said 1

  • I'm sorry for what happened, but my opinion is that you should end this as soon as possible. It's obvious he doesn't have those feelings just for you, but for also the other woman.
    He was in love with her, that's not something that happens after one time sex, it takes time to fall in love with someone. Who tells you he's not gonna do that again, maybe with another woman?
    I believe you have to end that relationship before you even get married.


What Girls Said 2

  • I know I'm only 17 but maybe jokingly ask him to prove it when he says he loves and see if he will actually do it.

    • Thanks hun! :)

    • I've asked him that and he says he proves it all the time... but i don't feel like he is all the way comitted as he used to be... he used to drool over me and have the upmost respect for me.. and now i see him give all of that to other women :'( ugh!

    • Or maybe set up a nice dinner date for the two of you and show him that your the only woman that should matter to him. And if he doesn't respect that then bring it to his attention.

  • My honest opinion would be leave this man like you should of done the first time, if you stay with him you will constantly be wondering if he is looking at another women and eventually it will get worse to the point where you're actually convinced he is having another affair with someone, you dont deserve that and you especially dont want to put yourself through even more crap,