Today I can't help but feel stressed out about my relationship?

We have been together for almost 2 years. Never had a fight until November when he had a melt down and broke up with me. Said he loved me but wasn't in love with me. I thought he was in love with me, after everything he's done, he's always there for me, doesn't like me to walk around campus alone, he's very protective and caring. We are graduating school in May. He says that we are going to be together and thats all I want is to keep things how they are.

What exactly does it mean when a guy says he isn't in love with you? How do I know if he is in love with me now. Things have been fine since week got back together after a week and ahalf apart. His family said that he needed to fix things and he said that he wasn't in the right mind set (He was having ptsd problems and I think his counselor told him to break up with me). he's a vet.
But Im 22 and Im honestly am scared to death of a future break up but at the same time Im scared of getting engaged because of the high divorce rates. Im so stressed out about it I feel sick today.
He always says 'love you' he's not very affectionate and he said that that was a problem when he left in November.
Any words of advice here? He tells me that people tell him that 'shes a good girl to keep." I hope he realizes this. There are girls we know that sleep around, cheat, lie etc. and I've never done anything like that. I just want him to see that.


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What Guys Said 1

  • just talk to him. nothing sounds wrong. it just sounds like ur stressing for some reason. also why do u care if others can't figure out what a relationship is? is u love him and he says he loves u, and u want to be with him, why would u be scared to get engaged? that is the meaning of staying with someone...

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    • Im scared of marriage and getting engaged because my parents divorced when I was young. And I feel overwhelmed that all my friends are getting engaged and married now. Some are even divorced at 21. Thanks for your answer. It just must be one of those days where I need to stop thinking!

    • if u knew him before he went into the military, u know him well and have watched him change and stayed with him. as a vet he probably realizes more than u think how much u have supported him. u have probably been through more than a lot of married couples all ready! u sound like ur in a good relationship. and dont say stop thinking. just days like this u just need to let him know how ur feeling. u love him so let him re assure u when ur feeling down. i assume u help him when he has his issues with ptsd right? so wouldn't it be normal and expected for him to help u on ur rought days? dont be afraid to let him know ur sensitive. even though im not sensitive i always try to have a shoulder for my gfs when they are having a bad day. also dont for get ur gfs or bffs or what ever u call them. im sure they are more than happy to cheer u up also ;)

What Girls Said 1

  • I feel your pain. Relationships can be so tricky especially when you're both in school. Honestly I think the best thing to do is express these concerns to him. Tell him how afraid you are of divorce and breakups. Tell him why you're worried. The most important thing is to be honest and open and tell him exactly how you're feeling and hopefully he reciprocates that. If you two love each other you need to work through it and you will want to work through it... together. After a meltdown and breakup it's hard to come back from and get to entirely the same place. The relationship will probably never be totally the same. But an honest conversation is extremely important. It will probably take time to work through but in that process you'll figure out just how compatible you two are and how well you can get through a challenge and that will tell you a lot about your relationship. I hope this is helpful. Good luck girl. Feel free to contact me any time - I'm in a complicated situation as well and have been doing a lot of reflecting lately so I hope this is at least somewhat useful to you.

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