I want my ex in my life but dont want to date her?

I feel like i need my ex of 5 years in my life as a friend even though we broke up 8 months ago. We ended the relationship in good terms. And we stopped talking for 8 months until yesterday. We went for a coffee and talked and we had a good time. and now she doesn't want to be friends but i do. And i dont want to date her or anything i just want her to be in my life so that once in a blue moon we could talk or hang out. She already had a bf and broke up and i hooked up with a few women. We both have moved on. But the problem is that i seem to be drawn back to her because i always meet women that have her name or same background. She says she doesn't want to talk or see me because it feels weird. I told her i understand and i respect that.

Why is this happening to me? What should i do?

  • forget about her (explain)
    50% (2)100% (2)67% (4)Vote
  • you still care about her in one way or another (explain)
    50% (2)0% (0)33% (2)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You want her in your life because she is familiar and it would comfort you to have her on your radar, regardless of whether you want to be friends or more, she doesn't want to be your friend and that is her decision to make. Some people don't want an ex in there life because they have moved on and they don't want to bring you into their present when you are the past. It's her choice so respect it and leave her alone.

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    • Wow thank you! That is very true. I guess i want her because i was with her for so long that i feel like she's more than a friend and even more than a gf like family. I dont see my self with her as a couple. We are both completely different but As much as i want her to be in my life she doesn't want to and i will respect her decision. Its hard though. But thanks again fir your comment!

What Girls Said 1

  • Just agree to be friends

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What Guys Said 3

  • Forget it and move on. I don't see it going well if you two become friends. How are you gonna feel if she finds a new BF and she brings him to meet up with you for that coffee and he is all over her. This is your call dude but for me they are Ex for a reason and I choose to leave them there

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    • We actually talked about it and i think she would feel very uncomfortable if i brought my new gf to that coffee but i wouldn't feel that way i think. In fact, i would be happy to see her with someone that cares about her. but you're right exs are exs for a reason. I might be wrong and it might be bad for me.

    • Do you like meaningful music? You know a descent song that makes sense

  • You've gotta move on. If you both want to stay friends, you can do that, but she doesn't, so it's not going to work, and you're both going to end up hurt, especially you. Breakups are hard.

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  • That's a very unstable position, if she remains your friend it is highly likely that you two will either have to choose between dating again or someone getting hurt. You can't choose to avoid that, it just winds up happening.

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