Do I dump the guy? I've liked this guy for years and now he approaches me? What do I do?

Ok so this is a big deal to me. This text just broke me. So I have liked this guy (call him Seth) for YEARS. He is always sweet to me, but he's always gone for a different girl. Well now I'm dating a guy (Call him Kyle) and we've been together for 3 months. He is sweet to me, and I do like him, but we have NOTHING in common. He is a pc gamer... And that's all there is to him. I'm a country girl, a violinist, a welder, an athlete, basically there is a lot to my life. So Kyle is probably not going to take me to prom, he is shy and that's not his thing. Well the guy I adore, Seth, just texted me and asked me to prom. I'm shaking and feel like I'm going to have an anxiety attack. I like Kyle, he's so sweet and innocent, but I've liked Seth for so long it hurts. like of course he fucking goes for me when I'm not available!!! So should I ask Kyle to let me go with a friend. Should I break up with Kyle in the hope that Seth will take it further with me? Seth and I have serious chemistry. We agree on important stuff, he is country, he is respectful. What do I do?

Updates:
Plus!!! Seth doesn't know about Kyle

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Most Helpful Guy

  • you obviously like seth, go with him and do the right thing by kyle and break up with him but BE HONEST about it, he deserves the truth if you're leaving him for another guy, who knows the truth may even help him evolve later in life so don't skimp him. be wary though. you may have a point when you say of course seth likes you when you're off the market.

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What Guys Said 3

  • This is far too common! Decisions decisions right? Things did NOT work out with Seth in the first place correct? There was a reason for that, and I -promise- you that those reasons still exist.

    People rarely change and if they do it takes a great deal of time.

    This shy, socially inept gamer of yours might just need a guiding hand to flourish a little. I used to be a huuuuge geek/nerd so I am speaking from personal experience here. You might need to be bold and make a few first moves with Kyle but after a time and given a chance you could find yourself pleasantly surprised.

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    • What do you mean thing did not work out with Seth? We never tried! That's why I'm excited that he is finally noticing me. Basically Kyle and I will end when he moves to north Dakota in a few months as well

    • I misread the Seth situation! Whoops! I still by what I said however... I'd be curious as to why he suddenly changed his mind about you but prom seems like a safe place to find out. You are not committing to anything by being his date to the prom right?

      Obviously you have already checked out of this Kyle relationship given you are waiting for it to end when he moves. I'd say cut ties with the guy now rather than subjecting yourself to a few more months of something you do not enjoy and prolonging the inevitable break up.

      Also it might be a good idea to mention Kyle to Seth! I am sure he will find out on his own either way and the news will be best received coming from you.

  • DAnce with the one who brought you. Nothing forced you to take up with Kyle. It would be unfair to him to suddenly jump into something with Kyle. AT least give it some time, don't just show up with Seth at the prom.

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  • i think ur looking at this all wrong. ur bf is good to u. he is shy but u obviously liked the way HE WAS went u started going out? if he does not want to ask u to prom ask his ass out. we live in a day and age where women are suppose to be taking their place NEXT to guys. take the first step if he won't.

    now on to the other guy. i know how those people are... ill leave it at that. he is probably doing this to see how u feel. maybe he thinks because he knows u like each other that u will be an easy bang for prom. it really could be innocent and it also could be just as equal a chance of him taking advantage of the situation.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Three things:
    First, if you have nothing in common with Kyle, you should be fair to him and break up, Seth or no Seth. It's unfair to be dating him if you clearly like someone else.
    Second, you can go to prom with Seth, have a good time and get to know each other better without taking it any further until you're sure you want the same thing.
    Third, and most importantly, there is absolutely no guarantee that things will start working with Seth. Don't give things (or people) up for him before he ever gave you anything to go on. He might ask you to prom because his date flaked out, and he knew you'd agree. You guys might go to prom, have a good time but he might end the night with another girl.

    My general point is, take it slow. Seth is cool, he seems nice, but my advice is take it step by step and don't rush, thinking this is your time to finally have a relationship with him. There is a reason he didn't ask you out before. So keep your guard up, go with him as friends, and let your target be to get to know him better.

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