How do I explain to my boyfriend that it hurts when he doesn't buy me gifts?

He also doesn't pay for dates often and it's not like I would mind also paying sometimes.

here's a list of what I bought him because I love giving gifts and much as receiving

a zippo lighter
nike sweats
a picture frame for a photo of his mom who recently passed away
haribo candies
strudels
chocolate

He did have a birthday but a lot pf the time these were just things he mentioned in passing and I decided to surprise him with them.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I know it sucks when he's insensitive, but thinking about it makes you no good. Did you ever talked to him about this? Maybe he even isn't aware. Or if he doesn't like giving stuff, you could say to him that once in a while you expect something like this, not big, but meaningful. Some guys just don't think this is important, so you'll have to explain him some things about a girl's way of thinking :)

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What Guys Said 10

  • Not to sound mean, but I couldn't help but laugh when I read the title. It sort of spells out what most men think anyway: it's all about the wallet.
    I always thought this generation of women didn't want to be patronized.
    If you love giving gifts as much as receiving, it shouldn't matter not getting any gifts as long as you're giving gifts.
    Most these subtleties, the things mentioned in passing, are lost on guys anyway, so maybe you don't wanna be expecting that.

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    • Its not about the price. Just the thought. Like I said I really like avocados and if he got me one and said 'Remember when' I would be really happy about it.

    • Yeah, it would be nice, but only very few men spend time trying to read the mind, let alone, have the capacity for it.
      One more thing, going into a relationship and trying to change the person you're with... now that's an uphill battle.

  • Gifts and buying things are not genuine or real gestures of affection. So I wish girls would quit equating material gifts to love. That's just wrong!
    Having said that though, a real man treats his woman from time to time. But the focus needs to be on the gesture and the emotional intention rather than the price tag and frequency of occurrence. Guys!, man up and make your girl feel special! And girls don't expect the world, but don't put up with bullshit either.

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  • dump him I guess

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  • Give them out of your own will. Don't expect things back

    I'm sure there are some things he does that you do

    He shouldn't pay for dates if he doesn't want too, him being your bf is not a free pass for free dates. Love him not his free dates

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  • Dating is not just about gifts. Try to value love more then these things. Maybe he is not so fit financially but that doesn't mean he doesn't love you.

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  • How did he react when receiving gifts?

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    • he acts grateful

    • Yeah... I'm like that too. I'm just bad at giving gifts. I doubt he means anything with not giving.

      He probably lack friends who say "you should buy something for your girlfriend "

  • Your a very giving person. I will admit that it isn't almm very gentleman like to me but try and look pass that. As long as he is taking care of you everything should be okay.

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  • it hurts when he doesn't buy me things.

    Lol :-p

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  • Just tell him you are a prostitute in training, and you will never reach your ambitions of being a world class escort if people don't start paying you.

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  • We don't expect gifts, so nor should you

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What Girls Said 7

  • you are young and I assume he is too. maybe he doesn't make enough to afford to buy you things. you shouldn't take it personal. does he do other things for you that don't cost money like give you back rubs, tell you how beautiful you are or listen to what you have to say and have meaningful conversation?

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  • Keeping score will get you nowhere. Try making a list instead of the reasons that you love having him around, and practice being grateful for those instead.

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    • I just have a good memory

    • @Asker

      Its called selective memory. Your subconsciously focusing on those things so they tend to stick out In your mind more

  • Some people are just takers and if he doesn't reciprocate in any small way he's not worth being a boyfriend. Don't get sucked into a routine where you buy gifts only to expect the same in return, gifts are for giving not the expectation of receiving. I hope he at least was very thankful when you gave them to him.

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  • he's using you

    you buy him things and he doesn't think of doing something nice back for you? or even pay for dates?

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    • Oh yea lol we can see the kinda girl you are Huh

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    • pr3ttybr0wn

      Yes those things are a bit more feminine. But I understand men do it. But in a primitive way its more a women thing but became a man thing too. Romance has to be within you. You can't just make yourself be romantic. Maybe he's not the romantic type. She choose him so she should know him before dating him... unless she went by looks that is

      Fair enough. Maybe he thinks about her more, maybe he loves her more, maybe he might do something but not expect her to return the favour. Maybe he's more genuine

      All those things are possible. Doesn't mean she 'likes' gift exchanges that it makes her automatically a better person or that she loves him more.

      Since she's expecting things, it means she's two timing because on one side she's buying gifts but then she's also forcing it on him to do the same. Not cool She forcing things that he may not be comfortable with

      She should do it from her heart without expecting anything. That's true and real.

  • Maybe he is poor?

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  • Some people are takers others are givers.
    I'm a very generous person, but i never allow anyone to take advantage of my kindness. It's okay to be kind, but your generosity needs to have limits. Stop giving and see how long he sticks around

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  • tell him that next time I get abortion you will buy me a diamond ring

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