Ladies why do guys have to try to impress you?

It's all about gender equality now and yet you still believe in sitting g and waiting for the guy to impress you. You want a guy to be extroverted and approach even if it's not part of his personality. I'm confident in who I am but going up to random people and showing that confidence is not part of my personality. Why can't girls ever show interest?
All I want is to love someone and make them happy. Why does it have to be so difficult to find someone who will fel the same. Instead I have to conving a girl to go out with me and prove myself to her. I don't expect that of her why should she expect that of me?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Ladies why do guys have to try to impress you?
    Guys don't have to impress gals. Guys choose to impress gals because it may increase his chance at getting what he wants from her.

    Why can't girls ever show interest?
    Gals do show interest as showcased with high status guys. Gals not showing as much interest as guys is not an issue of gender equality. That's seemingly an issue of gals not desiring the general male population as much as guys do gals and gals seeing no reason to pursue guys when they have plenty of guys pursuing them. Why seek out something that comes to you.

    I don't expect that of her why should she expect that of me?
    Egh I find most gals do not want to be convinced they should date someone as it feels invasive and appearing you know better than what she likes. So I doubt most expect you to convince her to go out with you. Perhaps you are taking showing yourself to be desirable to mean convincing her to go out with you.

    "It's all about gender equality now "
    No it's not as the touting/support of the slut/stud double standard showcases. Gaining equal rights doesn't necessarily mean gender equality. Guys already had equal rights yet they don't have gender equality.

    "You want a guy to be extroverted and approach even if it's not part of his personality."
    This is dubious to me as gals seemingly want it to be part of his personality. It seems you're taking a gal wanting an extrovert who approaches to mean they want this even if it's not part of his personality.

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    • I just meant that girls want a guy who can approach them and be confident. I'm confident but I'd have to be someone other than me to approach and talk to her. I don't like attention drawn to me. Having a one on one conversation and having to get someone's attention are different. I just don't know why everyone tells me I have to Purdue girls in specific way. is that usually the case?

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    • So what advice exactly will you be taking?
      - Seeking introvert gals
      - Simply conversing with gals to get to know them
      - Joining hobby/activity groups to expand your social circle and find more gals to get to know
      - Communicating you like a gal by flirting

    • I'll try to be a little more forward with my feelings. I have a lot of self esteem issues and everything I hear tells me to just let my feelings be heard. While I'm ok with being friends with some of my crushes I do want more. I think one thing I need to work on is approaching women I don't know. Waiting to meet by chance in classes is kinda not going anywhere. I take ballroom and social dance every week but this just gets me more friends. This huge step will have to be taken soon. It's scary but I think even if I fall a couple times I will only grow from it. Knowing you might fall is better then then not expecting it I guess. At least I can slightly prepare.😨 😂😆😁

What Girls Said 5

  • Guys always complain about having to be the one to approach, but they get intimidated when the girl does actually make the first move. It's always "oh she's too aggressive" or something like that. And both parties have to show confidence. It's not just males. Relationships are 2 way streets, so it's not just you doing all the work.

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    • I agree and I'll introduce myself and talk to her but I never get even a hint of attraction back. Then people tell me I just have to ask her out. Why would I ask her if she doesn't seem interested. This has happened on multiple occasions. I always have to talk to girls every time I see them. Girls never seek me out even if I've talked before.

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    • @Zorax yes, some do. But there are some that do not.

    • @CHARismatic110 I know, but such guys are mostly chauvinists... I actually prefer agressive girls ;)

  • I don't expect anyone to impress me. Also, impressing me =/= getting me to like you. For example, I can be impressed by people I hate, but it does not change my hatred for them.

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  • I don't expect that of anyone. My boyfriend was so shy when he told me he wanted to be my boyfriend, and that's not his personality. He's pretty outgoing and he gets when he wants for himself easily. If his personality were shy, there's no way I'd expect him to be like Superman and be perfect and loud and cool.

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  • They don't have to. People who try too hard, end up with the wrong people.

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  • I have spent a lot of time and money on my appearance, because despite how superficial it sounds, i have been told all my life that men are visual creatures and if you want to attract someone you have to look your best. And with today's standards of beauty, that is no easy feat.
    So i personally feel that if i have to go to all this effort to be approached, I'm certainly not going to approach a guy who doesn't even try. And let me tell you most guys don't even try.
    But whether i'm approached or i do the approaching, i will judge how compatible i am with someone based on the conversation. If the person is easy to talk to or shares my sense of humor that's all good. I'd give up on someone who didn't try to impress me because then i'd assume they weren't interested. I mean that's what you're supposed to do when you first like someone or start dating, you're on your best behavior and try to present the best version of yourself... Right?

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    • Founding need to focus so much on appearance. I'm sure your beautiful and a guy like me cares more about who you are. My question is if you'd show interest. If you were Cleary in my line of sight and you liked me would you do anything to show it? Like smile or anything showing interest.

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    • Someone WILL like you!
      But seriously watch a bit of Craig Ferguson on YouTube, and you can see he's quite flirty but in a very friendly manner. He's respectful of their space, doesn't take himself or them too seriously.

    • Thanks

What Guys Said 2

  • That's the thing op... you don't have to try to impress girls. Just do what you normally do and if it's not enough then on to the next one. Stop put girls on a pedestal.

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  • Women have been raised to believe they are worthy just for being a women and guys have to prove they are worth her time. It will most likely always be that way unfortunately.

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    • Well they are missing out on someone who would treat them wonderfully. If I get no feeling that they are attracted I'm not going to force myself on them. I'm not trying to convince someone to like me. I just want to be shown some interest in me as well.

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