What kind of guys do you girls consider "boyfriend material"?

Truly, I'm at a loss. I've only had one girlfriend which was a few years ago which ended pretty bad for me.

I'm still young so I doubt I'm meant to have good luck with it all, but when I look at my "somewhat" social self, I don't see anything all that wrong with me. I try my hardest to be kind and approachable, I always look presentable and I'm not what you'd call ugly... at least I hope not.

I must say though, I am a little awkward and shy, I don't mean to be, but when it comes to talking to girls, I'm pretty hopeless. I seem to overthink everything when I don't need to.

just want to know if I actually fit the bill for some nice girl out there. I want a teenage romance too.

  • Quiet, kind, indoors types
    12% (55)14% (9)12% (64)Vote
  • Outgoing, high energy, keen types
    10% (47)14% (9)11% (56)Vote
  • Affectionate, emotional, wanna hug all the time types
    17% (80)5% (3)16% (83)Vote
  • Forceful, controlling, secretly a huge softy types.
    9% (42)6% (4)9% (46)Vote
  • Mixture of most above?
    52% (235)61% (38)52% (273)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
I love this site already, all of you are so nice.

Thanks for those instant replies, it's 3 AM. Lots of stuff on my mind.
I was expecting D to have the most votes.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You are indeed still young as you said but from reading your post it looks as though you seem to have more maturity than a guy your age would normally have. I know guys around my age and a little older who are incredibly immature and don't care for finding a girl instead would rather screw around with them. My advice would be to just be yourself. Don't try to be someone else to fit in because trust me its quite a turn off.

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    • Hate to break it to you but men of all ages want to screw around with multiple women. It is kinda in our nature to be polyamorous, monogamy is only preached for economic reasons.

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    • because 22 is soooooooooo much older than 17. not saying I completely disagree with you but just the fact that you think at 22 you can speak for all ages says it all.

    • I don't think she implied that at all.

What Girls Said 55

  • Asking what makes a guy boyfriend material is like asking a bunch of people what breed of dog they like. No answer is going to be the same.
    But I will say, there is nothing wrong with being shy and introverted. I myself can be very shy and introverted, and it doesn't bother me or anyone else (mainly because I'm Intj and don't give a crap ;)
    But I think you would be surprised how many girls out there find it so attractive when a guy is shy too. And if you have a hard time talking to girls, just remember that girls have the same nerves going on when it comes to talking to guys.
    Do you know what you're Myers Briggs personality type is? It might be worth checking out if you don't. It can give you a lot of freakishly accurate insight into your personality type, and give you lots of useful tips for stuff like this!

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    • I have no clue what my Myers Briggs personally is, didn't even know it was a thing.

      Thanks for your comment!

  • Here is the thing. It really isn't as hard to figure out as you might think. Rather than boyfriend material, aim for 'husband' material. This means reach towards being a man who won't become complacent in a relationship by not trying to do things for your significant other. (Likewise, you will want a girl that will go through just as much effort as you would) in my experience, a girl likes it when her man puts in an solid effort for her sake, this means take time to get to know her. Find out what she likes and what she doesn't. Don't just keep doing the same thing over and over. Have an adventure together, use it as an opportunity to make amazing memories. Think of it this way, a relationship means growing and learning together, and take joy in whole process.

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  • for me, boyfriend material means a guy who doesn't act like a child. My dad always says: find yourself a man, not a boy.
    So yeah, I want a responsible guy I can trust.
    i think a guy who is always there for you when you had a really crappy day, can make you laugh, and genuinely care about you is enough for me.

    That's just my opinion, so I hoped it answered your question.

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    • Just like a few others on this thread, youve answered my question quite well. I feel like I could be a boyfriend who's like that. The only problem now is finding a girl who'll give me the benifet of a doubt.

      He sounds like a good dad.

    • yeah my dad is awesome
      just remember that good things come when you least expect it, so don't force anything if it's meant to be it will happen

    • Words of wisdom right here.

  • A B and C are all good. I don't like forceful or controlling. Not sure if you just mean dominant though because that would probably make more sense considering you also said "secretly a huge softy." I do like men who pretend to be tough and are softies. But no control please :) haha

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    • What exactly do you think dominsnt means if not controlling... Ever Heard of world domination. it is not a matter of aesthetics.

    • @Azara I meant dominant as in assertive, knows what he wants, determined, driven... the kind of guy who would make a good boss and leader. Those men aren't necessarily controlling at least not in the sense of telling their girlfriends/wives what to do.

  • A guy I would consider boyfriend material would be consistent, funny, thoughtful and trustworthy. A guy that is comfortable opening up to me and also challenging me to help me grow as a person. A guy that sticks with me through thick and thin. A guy who I feel protected with. A guy who won't judge me and loves me unconditionally.

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  • I like a guy who can be shy, but play it confident because I am shy too but I am faking it until I make it and I personally would be too intimidated by a guy who was actually really confident. I also love a kind guy but don't be too sensitive, I want to know who the man in the relationship is. And when it comes to protecting me I don't particularly like you to punch the guy out who is insulting me but warn him (threaten) with a line such as "touch her I'll kill you" and pull me away from danger by my hand. You don't have to particularly mean or follow through with the threat but just a protective guy. Don't be a heartbreaker honestly I and every female hate those guys. The ones who know they're hot and know they can get another girl five seconds after you

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  • You sound like a really fantastic guy. Smart, kind, and modest! I'm sure you're good-looking too. Even if you're nervous in front of girls, a nice girl will realize why. Personally if a guy is a little nervous in front of me I take it as a bit of a compliment ;)
    Yeah, so just hang in there! Keep being you, and another girl will come along in time to appreciate you for who you are. :)

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  • Each person has their own preference maybe you have just been trying to go after girls that really don't match your own personality. Outgoing girls tend to stick to guys more like themselves just like other girls. Smart girls look for guys that are able to keep up with them intellectually. Maybe you should look for a girl whose shy like you I feel she would be able to understand you better unless you find a girl who accepts you for you and already spends a lot of time with you. Instead of looking for impossible females look for someone who doesn't spend time in party's or hanging out all the time but someone who'd rather stick to themselves or stick to a tiny circle in the long run those girls are best to be in a relationship with cause their more likely to stay faithful & spend more time with you.

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  • you sound great to me! I think you should keep being yourself but just relax a little when you're talking to a girl. Even if you're really nervous I'm pretty sure a teen in this generation wouldn't make fun of you. Teenage romances are great but they do end rather quickly so be sure to date someone who you can succeed with in college. Good luck man. 😊

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  • Well for me I like the awkward shy guys. I feel that they are more real and you get to see them better and hopelessness is quite cute:3

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  • You will more than likely never find a person who fits just one of these catagories. I see what you mean though. I picked a mixture.
    The trick is to find the right time to be these different people. For example, if a girl's father or someone died you'd probably want the emotional and affectionate one. Ya get me?
    Just be yourself, because that's all a girl can really ask. If a girl tries to change you then she really ain't right for you. Don't let you change yourself either. I've tried changing myself before, and trust me-it doesn't work.(or at least not as good as you want it to)
    Anyways good luck, and im sure the right girl will come around soon.

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  • I like a guy who is not too talkative. I talk enough for the both us.. but he must be assertive and not at all passive... someone who takes care of business and isn't too emotional.. i want him to show his deep emotions but only to me. Loyal, caring, honest and charming and a secret funny guy. Id say that is the perfect man. The perfect man is subjective obviously

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  • Someone who is a bit more mature and a bit older than me. I like a guy who isn't afraid to show his emotions or be affectionate. Its fine as long as he doesn't get to clingy. Being clingy is an absolute turn off in my opinion. I like my space he doesn't have to be up under me 24/7.

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  • Every persons different so every person looks for different things in a man. Maybe a mixture or some or all of those or maybe none. It all depends on who you are and you may surprise yourself, you might end up with a type of guy u never thought u would, I sure did

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  • I almost picked the second to last option. I'm a independence, assertive type, but am secretly a huge softy. I tend to get along the best with men like that, the problem is that a lot of guys like that are also actually just jerks even if they are softies.

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  • Girls like whatever the heck they want lol. If everyone liked the same thing then a lot of people would be single. There so no such thing as the perfect person. Like with me, what I like is very different from my friends so while they think I have bad taste in guys I think the guys ate great

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    • I didn't say you couldn't like what you want. I just want to know what some of you girls are looking for in a guy so I can have idea why girls aren't interested in me.

    • I wasn't trying to seem rude. I'm just saying there is someone for everyone lol. I'm 18 and I've never dated anyone, I've never been kissed, and I've been rejected 15 times in the last year, but that doesn't mean that no one likes me. It just means that I haven't met the right person. Same for you :)

  • I just got out of a relationship with a seemingly "awkward shy guy" but getting to know him more i found out he was an asshole stoner drug dealer who ddidnt care about anyone but himself amd i definetley dont need that in my life. some girls are in fact into that type i have no idea why but they do. Awkward Shy guys are not all theyre cracked up to be it gets annoying. in my opinion i want someone confident, strong minded, caring, and funny.

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    • You really drew the short straw with that one didn't you? Sounds pretty shit.

    • Absolutely. I'm just glad it's over with and that I ended it before something that could potentially ruin my life happened.

  • I voted for a mixture because that describes my boyfriend pretty well. He's great and I couldn't ask for better. He's like a gentle giant (he's six feet tall. That's huge to me. I'm 5'3". I always feel so short).

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  • Well i like boys who maintain personally are kind sweet funny and who will take care of me and love me for who i am. Not talkative. Boys usually dnt express their feelings so that is not a problem for me. Most girls like bad boys but usually gets hurt instead. Just be the guy will be there for the girl when she needs someone the most. Make her smile. But dnt always go crazy to talk to her she will think ur annoying. Sometimes avoid her then she will want to talk to u. But i like all types of guys who are nice to me and honest :).

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  • It's kind of a mixture of everything..
    Boyfriend material would be guys who are loyal, respectful, honest, and kind. All of what you listed above are guys with different personalities, but boyfriend material mainly consists of these 4 traits.

    If I have to choose personality wise, I like those quiet, kind, and teasing ones.

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  • Boyfriend material, definitely someone mature, who could take care of me and not the opposite. Not over emotional person too, as I'm also a bit clueless about it sometimes and patient. Well, i think 'boyfriend material' depends on how's your personality, just an assumptions as i never even have a boyfriend and wandering about your question, but on guys's perspective on girl too

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  • A mix of them all, it depends from person to person really. Being immature, rude, snarky, unkind, obnoxious, irresponsible, lazy and has no manners is certainly not bf material..

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  • Trustworthy, somewhat mature and has at least an idea what he wants to do in life, dependable, open-minded...

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  • A guy who can cook is a plus. And someone who would like to try new things and have new adventures. Like, deciding to go ice skating one morning even though there was absolutely no plan at all. Someone a girl can depend on when she needs help and can bring her into a good mood, and make her laugh. Who can be serious when needed, but always be equally silly and not afraid to show his emotions.

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  • I like a guy who's pretty grounded, has some personality, isn't afraid to say his opinion, and overall just one of the guys that can't be placed in the 'doucher' category :)

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  • Really tall, masculine and dominant but is super sweet and gentle with me. 6'4"-6'9" is the ideal height lollll. Yeah, that's really tall, I know.

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  • Quiet, kind, & affectionate.

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  • when you'll have a crush on a girl try to capture her attention by approaching her like saying nice thing or liking some stuff she's sharing on Facebook perhaps showing some interests in what she's interested in ;)

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  • I like him to be a leader. Smart funny and hot of course lol jk. I'm not that picky to be honest. If a sweet guy wants to date me I normally say yes if he is kind and a leader type. I Don't do followers

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  • High energy, affectionate, kind <3 Like a huggy bouncy ball of sweetness.

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What Guys Said 9

  • You fit the bill just fine. Everyone fits someone's bill. Just means it'll probably take a bit longer to find someone; you don't need a teenage romance! Just focus on being the best you can be for now; you'll find the girl eventually. As you said, you're still young, so look at it another way and think what's the rush? It'll be worth the wait.

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  • You have to break the habit of being scared when talking to girls.
    Next time you in a social environment, talk to EVERY girl you can without any intention of a relationship. Just talk to lots of girls so that when you talk to the right girl, you will be more comfortable.
    Girls don't like nice guys. From 15 to 28 I was a nice guy, doing good things for girls, buying stuff for them, helping them out with whatever they need help with, good listener etc etc and I had 1 girl friend in those 13 years.
    Then when I was around 28 years old maybe 29... I started seeing that girls are attracted to guys that have attitude. You have to be a bit of a prick basically, but not too much. This method has worked for me in the last 3 or 4 years. I've been with countless girls ever since I stopped being too nice.
    I think that they aren't attracted to nice guys because their instinct says that the nice guys can't protect them or something.
    You basically need to care more for yourself than you do for others, that's how you succeed in life.
    Just before anyone says that this is BS, I lived this way, I have experienced this first hand, it is true.
    Learn to love yourself so much that you seem a bit egotistical.

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  • wow you sound like a carbon copy of myself

    hang in there man

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  • Women comes by themselves... you don't have to worry.. just 1) be patient 2) wait 3) don't rush it... all cool man :-D

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  • this is such bullshit and any true female will admit as much. girls don't know what the hell they want... and if the do it's usually the exact opposite. trust me. nice guys finish last. they say they want an affectionate , emotional, sensitive caring type and 95 percent of the time they want or end up with a bad boy. nice guys finish last. you're better off being an asshole , it's bizarre. i don't like to be that way.

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  • Gotya have a just b for most of them to be comsidered BF katerial. At least the ones mid-twenties and up. And, I domt blame them as beyond just the income, it says a lot about character and priorities.

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    • Gotta have a job to be considered BF material*

      friggin Ipad.

  • Tall dark and handsome male model millionaire is their type

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  • The one with the biggest dick.

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  • you sound kinda like me. in high school I never got much luck with girls, but now I'm in college and the girls won't go away. I'm reserved by the way. don't even worry bout teenage love. most relationships in high school are just temporary anyway.

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