(GUYS ONLY) If your friend who's a girl told you she has feelings for you, how would you feel? Could it ruin your friendship?

I have feelings for my non-single guy friend, and I really want him to know how I feel despite what he thinks of me. I'm just worried about ruining our friendship and also making him uncomfortable... Still, I want him to know. I'm conflicted about what to do.

Updates:
He's actually leaving town. I didn't mention it because it would change some people's opinions. Anyhow, I've decided on what to do. thank you for your opinions!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I was in a situation similar to yours. I had one girl interested in me and she gave me indirect signs. When I failed to see what she was doing, as I thought she knew of my marriage and the possibility of her flirting with another, She later told me to fuck off as I failed to know the fact that her flirtations on Facebook were meant for me.

    My advice, You might want to keep this under your hat for a while if he is married. If he is not married, You might want to pull him aside and share your thoughts. If he is married, You might not want to pursue this. You don't want to be a part of what might destroy his family. Just a few things to think about. I know you might feel a strong connection. Been there and done that. When the heart says one thing but when the mind still tries to tell you right from wrong, Listen to that. Don't do this if you feel it is wrong.

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    • Thank you for your advice. He's leaving town soon actually... I may never see him again, but is it still better to stay quiet? I just dont want to trouble him.

    • Yeah, I would keep it under your hat. I know what it is to see someone you like and sometimes emotion is going to come into it. But yeah, I would recommend letting this one go and focus on one that can actually be there for you and meet your needs.

What Guys Said 78

  • Depends on the girl really, but even if I didn't feel the same I personally would be ok. But everyone is different and I do not know your friend or your relationship. I have lost several female friends over the years because I got a crush and told them. Even in my case we were both single and in one case she showed EXTREMELY clear signs up till my confession that she liked me. But you can never know with these things they are almost unpredictable. Its based on situation, history, you, him, timing, the day, his mood, all that and more plus a little luck. Its a big risk and it could make things very awkward for him to the point of ending your friendship. Here is what I would say, if you like him consider the relationship he is in and the fact that he is happy there. If you care would you really want to ruin that for him? Just hold on to your feelings, chances are the relationship he is in will end or you will move on. If it ends you can make your move then. If you move on great. If it doesn't end you get to be happy knowing he is happy and you will still move forward. Right now in the spot you are in, you have more to lose and more people to hurt. At least wait till he is single again and if then you should tell him. He needs to know and you need to get it off your chest. But just not right now.

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  • I'm in a situation where I'm friends with a girl who's in a relationship. but she knows I have feelings for her. She's has told me she wish her boyfriend was more like me. And that I really inspire her. Lately she has been flirting with me a lot. For example i told her about a romantic fanasty of mine. And she replied with including her self in my fantasy. But if u ever make that step with a friend the friendship will change. But I'm willing to lose our friendship if it means making her the love of my life. And I say tell him don't keep things like this bottled up. Live life without regrets. But make sure u have someone else on standbye just incase things don't work the way u want them to. because if he rejects the whole thing you know it's gonna hurt so have someone who can help u cope with the rejection. But I wish u the best with this. And I hope u get want you want because I know how it is to catch feelings for someone who's taken. It can hurt to think about never being able to get with that someone but life can be a bitch at times. But I wish you the best of luck with this all.

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  • So many people telling you not to do it. Why? You don't want to be just a friend, so don't. I guess I'll be the asshole that tells you how to get him. End the friendship. Tell him you can't be friends with him because you want him and he's with someone else. Make no more contact with him, he will start to wonder about you and miss you and maybe sparking some romantic feelings about you. If it sparks any romantic feelings, him and his girlfriend will naturally start having relationship problems and it will eventually fail and you'll be the first person he thinks of when it does. In the meantime, date other people.

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  • honestly I wouldn't let it ruin our friendship. If I liked her back I'd tell her, if I didn't I'd try to be sensitive about the situation and let her down gently. don't be worried about ruining the friendship. if he's a good true friend, it shouldn't harm anything :)

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  • If I was single and I felt the same way, then it would be awesome. If I didn't feel the same way, I would be cool about it and perhaps try to help her find a guy who would want to be with her.

    If I wasn't single however, I would tell her that although I'm flattered and appreciate the honesty, I am already in a relationship with a girl that I love, and I would never do anything to ruin that.

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  • What's the point in telling him if he's not going to leave his girlfriend? The friendship must end for your sake. That's your only defense.

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  • Don't do it. He's not single the ONLY thing that can happen from you telling him is bad stuff, there is absolutely no upside. I know how much it sucks, been there done that. Just don't do it. EVEN if he does like you, it would make things weird. If he were to break up/cheat on his gf would you really want him? What's to say he wouldn't do the same to you? You knowing what he did would just create a jealous relationship if it ever developed.

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  • In my opinion it should not ruin friendship.. If he is a good guy and a good friend he might respect your feelings.. I'd appreciate this kind of confession

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  • Not at all... most dudes would probably try it out as far as a relationship was concerned instantly. Men for the most part aren't afriad of failure... very little percentage of dudes would be afriad to try out a real relationship rather than just a friendship... if they don't want a relationship the man probably isn't in to you at all... the small percentage of men who would be afraid are probably on these sites, complaining about how their lives suck...

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  • Always an opportunist, never a thief. There's a gal I like; but I don't chase her because she's taken. Otherwise, I'd be all over her.

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  • It's best for you to tell him - it's a learning experience.

    If you were to never tell him, you would never know. If you were to tell him, you could end up ruining it but learning from it. The bigger picture to focus on is self-development.

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  • Tell him about your feelings n I think a genuine guy won't ruin anything 😊

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  • it's happened with me it's cool we're all still really good friends

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  • If the guy was me
    That bond as a friend would increase
    And i'd take the girl as a responsibility (to not to hurt her feelings) and i'd respect her feelings :)

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  • If I were you I would wait a while, try and find someone else, see if they break up and then if you still want him, tell him.

    If he wants to go out with you then great but if he doesn't, end the friendship. There's no point in being friends if one person is attracted to the other who isn't. That's the friendzone and its torture. Any body who's in any way clever would break off a friendship once that happens. Its too weird and awkward if you try to carry on as normal after that.

    Also never stay friends with an ex. It's also a recipe for disaster.

    Hope this helps :)

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  • I'd think you don;t respect my relationship enough.
    it doesn't matter how I could feel about you, I'd be with someone else.

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  • If he is worth of you time then wait for him to be single again. And give him some time after his break up if he really do in the future.

    Expressing your feeling in this situation may cost your friendship because her girlfriend is not gonna like this and she might not understand your friendship with his boyfriend and in a case she broke up because of this then you might not stand a chance at being together with him neither as a friend nor girlfriend.

    Not everybody's love last forever so support him and be a friend to him until he break up and at the right time, at the right moment tell him how you really feel about him.

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  • Well it could ruin HIS relationship with his girlfriend, but I would say no it wouldn't necessarily ruin it. I would say go for it

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  • It wouldn't but you gotta think about it. If yll go out and something go wrong, there's a very good chance you'll lose out on a good friend

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  • I'm sure your sweet girl but he is friend and unless he leaves
    his girlfriend or crush nothings going happen with you two

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  • I actually am just getting into a relationship with a girl that I've been friends with for a long time. I don't feel like it will mess up my friendship

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  • If a friend told me she had feeling for me I don't think it would ruin our friendship. In fact, there is a strong chance I'd ask her out if I was single. However, since your friend is in a relationship I don't think you should tell him right now. You should wait till he isn't in a relationship before you tell him.

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  • You should tell him cause if you don't then you will only end up hurting yourself, if you tell him maybe you'll get lucky and find out he has feelings too

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  • yes it can but not if u 'man up" and tell her.. we can be really great frndz but we can never be in a relationship... or say am not sure (if u want gifts , favours and a lot of other shit.)...
    but if she loves u truly.. she will love u nyway no matter what u say.

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  • I don't know enough about human behavior to tell you for certain if he likes you. You neurotypicals are complicated! :-) I guess it wouldn't hurt to let him know. Just be prepared for a negative reaction because if his attraction to you is just of friendship, then you might make it awkward between you two. I'm not certain of this, like I said before, you people are complicated.

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  • First of all, its a really good thing to know that girls like you.
    And as for your question, it depends upon the character of the guy.

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    • He's the sweetest person in the world and he always puts others before himself and doesn't take care of himself enough.
      That's why I'm worried that telling him would make him feel conflicted about what to say to me and make him uncomfortable...

    • He seems to have a good heart. If u're close enough, and know each other well than you can just ask him out. Or, you can just take it slow, you know. Giving him little signs of your feelings towards him

  • I have dated two of my women friends who also happened to be sisters. One I have a great relationship with the other not so much there is always a risk when dating friend though.

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  • Id say wait if his current relationship ends. Out of respect for him and his current gf. You don't wanna cause trouble between them or even between the two of them and you

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  • Give yourself space from Him. Re visit the possibility when he is single. You may have gotten over him by then.

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  • If he is single go for it and be prepared for things not to go well. If is taken keep your mouth shut

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What Girls Said 3

  • hmmm That's a pretty selfish endeavour.

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  • Speaking as the girlfriend in a situation like this, it didn't feel too good on my end. Even though he didn't sleep with the girl, at the time, he started telling her things he should have been telling me and it drove a wedge between us. Of course, he insisted they were just friends my instincts told me different.

    SOME men can't resist to cross some sort of line, when it the opportunity presents itself especially when they can't get away with it. Eventually mine did cross the physical line and it cost him his family. Now he gets to see our two little ones on the weekend and no amount of begging will bring me back.

    If this guy is oh so amazing, then wait til he's single, if that happens. There should be a boundary line for those in relationships. Even if he does confess to having feelings for you, you are running to risk of destroying his current relationship and even if you succeed in doing so, Why would you want a guy that can be so easily swayed.

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  • Depends on if you're good looking or not. If he finds you attractive but isn't interested he still won't be uncomfortable. He will still want to be friends. Chances are though if you're attractive he will give you a chance even if he wasn't originally interested. If you're ugly though it's a lose lose situation either way. It's best to keep your feelings to yourself. Guys always get upset if it the girl is ugly even if it's a friend.

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    • I didn't see the non single part. If he is in a relationship don't do it! That's definitely a no no.

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