Why do people always say one shouldn't give up on love, has anyone else given up?

I have given up on love. I have not had one good experience, guys never commit to me and by now I just know that a guy never will. So whenever I meet a guy now, I already know he is probably acting interested and chasing/pursuing me but doesn't really want to be serious with ME. Its fine, I'm glad I gave it a try for over a decade and that too with a pure heart and good intentions. I can at least say I tried, I don't see why its so bad to give up? the only thing is, I'm hurt by the baggage I carry around and I try to let go of it. I am ok with the fact that I'll never meet anyone because I know I gave it a shot. I'm what guys usually call beautiful, kind, humble, classy and graceful. But they still wouldn't be with me haha. They love my attention, they love to pursue me, they love to get close... they even invest a lot but they never actually think I'm worth committing to. So I have given up, I'm a regular girl, easy-going, friendly, social and slightly goofy. My guy friends don't get it but I guess they don't see me the way other guys do. I have even tried asking guys for the truth, they never really tell me. Anyway, I am beyond all that stuff. At this point I'd like to know if anyone else has pulled themselves out of the love and dating game? And how they find happiness in being alone and knowing they will never have anyone love them romantically? this isn't self pity but an honest question, I'm not even cynical about love and I feel so blessed that all my friends are in happy fulfilling relationships. I have always been the single one so its not like I know otherwise. But I am happy for my friends, I'd rather it be me than them. Any honest suggestions would be great, please don't give me generic responses like it will come to you when you least expect it and crap like that. We all know life isn't a movie, and I don't want to love again.. ever.. so it won't happen. I just wan't to be happy and to have a healthy self-esteem again. thanks


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Most Helpful Guy

  • i never gave up, i still love my ex darely but she hates me, last time she said i was crazy because i had this picture on my profile, on my fb,. i made it because she miscarried our child, and became so hatefull to me, that i fellt i was alone. i know she is seeing someone else, or possibly more, and she just can't seem to understand that she is wrong for doing so. even to this day, i still care about her and im not willing to give up but im not sure if she will ever chance. this Saturday i have a date with a pretty good looking friendly girl and lets see were it takes me to. i just want a girl i can trust but that doesn't change anything about the feelings i had, and still have for my ex gf

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    • Your ex dumped you? But at least you found love right? I'm sure you will again :). I know I won't, I just want some advice on how to deal with life knowing I'll never find love...

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    • Maybe you were trying too hard? Anyway let her go, for me its just not worth the hassle anymore. But if you have the energy to go for it then just let her come to you

    • the trying comes from her part, telling me to go swim with her and her son, to stay over and sleep at her place. i just wanted to hang around and watch some movies etc... because everybody around was pressuring her, and now she sees it as me pressuring her. i was just agreeing with her, showing her that im open minded about everything. slowly i was getting over my depression and now i can start all over again. do i want to give up no, i hope she will clear her mind but it just shocks me how someone can go from being into you , to absolotely having no time for me and even write to her mother , who she blocks from her life now, that i annoy her. i had no indication that i was annoying her. i rather just die to be honest, im too tired for this , i open my heart and this is how i get treated

What Guys Said 4

  • That is not love. Love never runs out. Love is everlasting and eternal. A person who has love, their grace, mercy and forgiveness never run out. A person who loves, always sees big plans for others. A person who loves, always stands by a person's side, when it seems like nobody will. A person who has love, always believes in people and sees them as precious more than gold. A person who loves will fight until death, for that person to have eternal life. A person who loves, will get on a cross and die for the world to live. Thank you.

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    • Yeh and I wish someone loved me that way. I have given so much, gotten very little in return. I love my friends and family with all my heart. But romantic love has not proven itself to be so wonderful to me, I therefore do not want to fall in love (romantically). There are many forms of love, we can spread and give love within our capacity. I no longer believe I will find the kind of romantic love I always wanted to experience. After a decade of rejection and hurt, its ok to give up. Especially after having an open heart, mind and soul. I am not bitter towards love, I see so many happy couples who have found true love (my own parents), I do not hate men (they just didn't think I was worthy of a relationship) and I do not believe I would ever find it. My experiences have taught me that a man may pursue me and give me love, but he will never stand by me for the long run. So why fall in love? If i get hurt every time?

    • That's the problem. There is only one kind of Love and it comes from God. For God is love, and teaches how to love.

    • That's not true. I love you. It's unconditional so I don't even have to know you.

  • For romantic love then yes, I've given up

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  • I gave up since I gotten rejected so much.

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  • Yes I have, a long time ago

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    • Are you happy? How did you deal with the realisation?

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    • It's not always easy but I just have no expectation of finding so I don't bother looking for it

    • Ah same as me then, I guess with time it'll become a habit. I hope so in any case, I don't really notice guys or look at them. And when a guy shows interest I show them I have none. I guess that will help me to stay away from all this drama

What Girls Said 4

  • I would say to consider looking outside of your area. I found my someone while on a cruise. We lived a couple thousand miles away, I don't think that I would have met him any other way.

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    • I moved country, to Italy a few months back. I am moving again to Germany. I have met guys from all across the world during college, travels etc. It is what it is. I wanted advice on how to live a happy life with the knowledge that I can't get a boyfriend. Not how to get a boyfriend, I'm tired of worrying about that... not everyone finds love.. I tried, I gave it my all... I have nothing left to give anyone... because they'll never commit anyway.. even after pretending to be so in love..

  • Awe 😢 this made me cry... I understand what your going through all too well... Doesn't make sense.

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  • I've accepted that I don't have what relationships need and what men crave, yes. I'm not sure what to do to replace those roles of wife and mother, that seem to validate women's existence, however.

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  • I am currently starting to go through the same thing. However I can't really help with your question because it is something I would also like to know.

    Now I have been a pessimistic all my life. So I am currently trying to adjust my outlook to on situation from a negative to a positive light. And you seem to have that down. How would I good about being more positive?

    For example i could be depressed that my two friend got recently married (about 10 months ago) and I haven't seen them. Or i could feel happy for them because they are two great people who deserve to be happy.
    I mean i feel both but i feel bad when i get depressed because it feels like I'm being selfish. I show just be happy for them and not make it about how i single.
    And like you said being single isn't necessarily bad why you could do all sorts of things couples can not.
    Like go on adventures or seen new sites and things. Single people can be more spontaneous (which I need to work now because I am super shy).

    Anyway have any advice on being more positive?

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