When dating a guy: what are the red flags that tell you you should let that one go?

When dating a guy: what are the red flags that tell you you should let that one go?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • He shuts down virtually every opinion and thought you have.
    He is controlling with his actions - grabs you by the waist, hand, shoulder, etc.
    He can't make plans before Thursday in case something better comes up.
    He takes hours to reply to anything.
    He makes little or no effort with dress/personal hygiene.
    He puts others first for ridiculous reasons.
    He slots you in to a free window in his diary.
    He heavily criticises your friends and family causing alienation.
    He makes you insecure from his opinions of you.
    He attempts to change whatever you are into - e. g. you make model Dr Who figurines but he says it's lame.
    He borrows things off you with no gratitude (expects it) - e. g. money, car
    He is a drifter in life as are his friends
    Has little or no drive to succeed and make his mark in the world
    Has had a ton of short-lived relationships
    He lies, denies and then asks you if you want fries with that
    He's controlling to the point where you have to check with him first

    ... and I could go on... lol !

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    • Damn..,.
      Good answers! =)

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    • Grabs - being violent towards someone - in this case.

      He would rather help a friend buy beer than help you to drive you to the hospital to see your grandpa. - those sort of ridiculous reasons...

    • Thanks for the MHO :)

What Guys Said 11

  • The biggest one I think...

    If he can't take time out from his buddies to be with you, or always puts them first... then he does not want a gf! He wants a sexual partner with no strings attached.

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  • if his mom had to drop him or the two of you off, granted the age range is old enough.

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  • i find a bit hypocritic the "he doesn't have plans and ambitions' quote that most women repeat, when they usually mean money, lets be honest. i know people that want to live in the countryside with their garden and thats it. i dont think their of any less value, plus they are total marriage material character and faithfulness wise.

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    • I understand it in a way that says: He doesn't ever want to do anything, he's a lazy dude, a couch potato who expects you to do everything for him and gives nothing in return, i. e., someone who doesn't plan on ever getting a job or ever advancing in a job that he does have...

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    • While there are definitely gold diggers/people who refuse to date someone who's making less than X amt of money out there, it sounded to me like the answer was referring to someone who can't support themselves (or a potential family) & has no plans to improve their situation.

      A lot of women do mean money when they say that, but it's nowhere near the 50%+ that you're inferring.

  • If the first thing he talks about is:
    1) His ex (es).
    2) His adventures with "the chicks".
    3) What you don't wear that day.
    That was my first inspiration haha. Perhaps include his "monster in law"...

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  • Anytime a person be that a girl or a guy says "Don't fall in love with me", you should probably obligate for your own good.

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    • Agree. That line is not a romantic quote from a happy ending movie. Seriously, when someone says that to you, is like if they make the decision already of not even liking you enough to care. So if you get to have feelings is your fault, they'll blame it on you because of course they warned you.

    • At worst they're in fact cruel and psychotic yet self-aware enough to order you to back off before you'll regret it.

    • This is 100% true.

  • I found it ironic that women are saying "tells a lie no matter how small". Most girls tell white lies lol while guys have an easier time telling the truth in such cases

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  • he's an angry ass guy

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  • when he treats you like shit and makes you feel insecure

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  • Omg red heads are just so Damm hot.
    Get a good guy. Loose that looser

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  • If he like to chat with girls

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  • If he abuses you, that is the #1 major red flag.

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What Girls Said 18

  • - if he lies, even a small lie like why he was late or something. That means he's comfortable with lying in general.
    - if he's smooth in talking to girls and I mean a lot to a lot og girls.
    - if he cares a lot about what the public thinks of him. If you do something silly and he's like 'baby not now'.
    - he gets mad if you do something wrong. Like you didn't gave him a beer directly when you got home and he starts shouting.
    - pushing you into having sex with him. You just got on a date and get home and he insists that he comes in.
    - talking very hateful about others. Like '*insert name* is such a dumb bitch, she really deserves a punch in her face'
    - talking about his ex in the first month.

    My parents also say never date someone with a swagger cap, but that's more for people young age.

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    • even a small lie?
      Like say someone wearing makeup? or for the sake of being polite to someone over something that doesn't matter at all... Interesting point of view.

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    • @spuitkaas While I'm personally above superficial behavior, I'm also well-aware that some people aren't (don't even bother reasoning with such people). I agree that nobody according to MY perception nobody is ugly, but I also know that some people find me ugly. Either that or they can't come up with a better explanation for why they won't like me.

    • (Edit note: nobody is ugly according to me, sorry about the wording)

  • 1) If he is still hung up on a ex...
    2) Says he's afraid of commitment or talks a lot about commitment in a negative way.
    3) Tells a lie no matter how small (if he can't be honest at the start then I don't even want to know what will happen later on..)
    4) Finding out he has been inside many short relationships that never seem to last
    5) Fails to initiate, make plans, contact you first sometimes...
    6) This is a personal one but clashing personalities or values is also a red flag to me because I want a partner who is similar to me.

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  • He says things about how you look or smell, he won't be honest with you about stuff like if your breath might smell and he's kissing you, he assums your like some girls that goes bonkers and will get totally hurt so he keeps on offering a mint but i'm not getting the hint because i don't know my breath smells so he finally cracks and tells me, i tell him i'm okie with it but he looks to the side like he doesn't believe me... okie then... so what else is he going to do that with? lol. He is constantly teasing you and bring up sexual things, at first for like 10 mins you talk normal then boom... sex... and then you try to change it back to normal and he won't have it.

    He lies about who he's really living with and claims he's just living with a female room mate from and she's not English , she comes back early and then when your leaving she sounds English and ask him where he's going all demanding (um... why would she care? lol), i guess he lied about not having a somebody.

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    • That sounds more like your story... than advice... Haha
      But thanks anyway.

    • That is very specific.

    • No... guys do these things lol i've had several guys act in these ways and that's not everything lol there is more as us girls know but these are the things guys mostly do.

  • If you feel like you are getting nowhere. Like they are taking you for granted, or like you are not getting anything from the relationship except for the boyfriend title

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  • When he seriously and purposely makes you feel guilty about yourself and the things you do.

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  • (1) If he wears a bra.
    (2) If he brings up the topic of birth control at any point during (or before) your first date.
    (3) If he knows anything about the Kardashians, other that they have big butts.
    (4) If he owns a cat.
    (5) If he doesn't believe in God (or thinks that he is God).
    (6) if he ever gets violent with you. It only gets worse.
    (7) If you can bench press more than he can.

    There's more, but that hits the high points.

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  • If he's rushing me on more. If he's not treat his parent, children (or basically other people) nice. Doesn't want to talk about commitment. Falling in love with their phone (i don't like people who couldn't even leave their phones for just a few hours)

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  • Drinking too much. No goals.

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  • A pet peeve of mine is when a guy refers to his parents as "mommy and daddy", and he's full of himself... MAJOR RED FLAGS!!!

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  • If he's jobless. He parties too much with his friends rather than you. If he's that type that say he's going to do something but dosent. He disrespects you in any way to make you fell like crap. If he's talking to girls on the side including social medias.

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  • If they are like that I don't give a crap kinda guy.

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  • When he gets too clingy and crazy jealous

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  • The true man in my life won't take away the pickle from the burger.

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  • hidden lies. can't drive/ has no license. Does drugs/ smokes. Past offences arise. has kids and didn't tell you on day 1.

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  • When he can't decide for himself and rely on other's decision like when he is a "mama's boy".
    When all he talks about is himself, like how many girlfriends he had, and everything about himself.

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  • If he's not kind to everyone.

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  • If he treats the people that work around him (waiters, receptionist, janitor) horribly.

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  • He has no aspirations.

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