I have only had one guy like me, it was pure luck. We weren't together long enough for me to know if he would have ended it if i hadn't. Anyway, besides that.. every single guy has pursued me, consistently shown interest, made plans, connected, gotten close etc but always rejected me once things got real. I don't really care about that anymore, just what it has left me with. I am tired of figuring out what went wrong or what I did wrong or what I could have done the next time. I have been through all of it in the past decade. I now know I tried, gave it my best shot and never found anyone. I never found anyone when I was open to love and without baggage so it definitely won't happen now. Also because I really don't want to go through the whole thing again and every guy I meet or get asked out by will probably end up doing the same thing anyway. I have no interest in taking the risk of finding out if one guy miraculously is dumb enough to actually want to commit to me.
But the basic question I have is how do I heal and love myself again? How do I fix my low sense of self-worth and self-esteem that was caused by every single guy not thinking I'm worth committing to. I am lucky to say that everyone around me is in healthy relationships and I am not cynical. I think love must make them so happy and complete but I have always been the single one, knowing my time would come. But it never did and now I don't even want it to. I'm done. But I would love to get any suggestions on how I can improve my thought process and live happily being alone for the rest of my life? I don't have hope for romantic love, so thats not an option. I just want to know how I can be like I was when I was 20, completely unaware about meeting someone or even preoccupying myself with the idea. I want to go back to that time when having a relationship just wasn't important and to the time I kept myself happy. If anyway, has gone through it or has suggestions.. please help!
Most Helpful Guy
Well, I was in your place. Choosing the "right person" who is worth it, That is going to be a real struggle. I tend to look at it this way. I had the bar of standards set high. I got disappointed when I saw so many ladies were not stacking up as I would get cheated on, Lied to, The whole bit. So out of frustration, I resigned myself to the idea that there were no moral women out there at all. So painfully, I decided to put the idea of prospecting for a good woman on the shelf and focus on things like career among other things. I chose to address and build other aspects of my life and pour everything into that. Soon, I no longer cared if I was with anyone or not. I was no longer fighting myself over what appeared to be the reality of my situation. So after a while, I met a girl who actually had similar circumstances. We had no intentions. But we started out as friends and things just went from one thing to the other, and I don't know how. But her and I are married and have been for over eleven years. They say it happens when you aren't hence looking and not expecting it. Mine happened unexpectedly.0
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