I am asexual and a romantic and I'm curious would you be okay with a relationship that doesn't include sex or strong romantic feelings? You still feel a bond with them (think John and Sherlock) but its out of mutual respect and love. Pretty much what I'm asking, is could you be in a committed lifelong platonic relationship?
- maybeVote A
- YesVote B
- NoVote C
- DependsVote D
Most Helpful Guy
Friendships and romantic relationships are not distinguished by sex.
Friendships are bonds between two people that consist of each one's desire to make the other one happy, as well as a certain trust to the other one.
In romantic relationships, this is only expanded by a promise. Namely, the promise to commit to that desire, and make constant effort to realise it for one another.
In our culture, this is then furthered by sexual exclusivity, as well as romantic gestures, but neither of these have to be included for the concept of relationship to work out, per se. But:
Now, the question is: Can you find an sexually and romantically interested partner, and then commit to their happiness without providing them with sex and romantic gestures?
I do not think so, because even if you were both okay with them sleeping with other people, they are most likely going to be encultured in the Western mindset that the value they feel for you should be met with intimate affection on your behalf. Not necessarily physically [because that could be taken care of by other people], but certainly romantically. People just want intimate things that they can only share with that one partner.
If, in face of this argument, you consider romance something you might actually have a desire for yourself, then yes, you might find someone who would want to share that with you, but have sex with others.
The question is: If you are already interested in so much intimacy, why not also share it physically?1