Will talking shitty about my crush will help me getting over him?

I mean not with others but to myself. Like saying this to myself- 'he is an a$$ who doesn't deserve me' or 'he is very egoistic'(yes he really is) something like that...
Will it help me getting over him?
If not, what to do to get over him?

  • Yes it'll help
    17% (4)15% (2)17% (6)Vote
  • No. it won't
    83% (19)85% (11)83% (30)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It only helps you pretend that you are over him whilst you aren't in fact. If I'm not mistaken I can read in your post that you still love or care about him. When you will start thinking or saying such things you will eventually start acting like it (so you do the same to him as he did to you). First of all you should consider if he is worth all the time thinking about. Why would you spend your time thinking about him when there are so many other things to do which help you get on with your life? Secondly you shouldn't treat him the way he treated you. I know you must feel angry, tired and sad about it but revenge will only bring guilt (if you still love him) so you will end up feeling more bad about the whole thing than before. All of this prevents you from moving on. If you really want to forget about him, try and do things you like and pick up some old hobbies which you haven't practiced during your relationship. Not focussing on him, but on the positive things in life will help you move on in a far better way in the long term! Goodluck.

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    • I do care for him tbh :( I still get butterflies in my stomach when I see him. But he said/did some things knowingly/unknowingly which made me take decision of getting over him..

    • Thanks for MH!

What Guys Said 10

  • It depends entirely on how he treated you. If it's not true then you'd just be telling yourself lies and deep down you'd probably know that. However, if you do have these kinds of negative thoughts and feelings about him then you should allow them, even if they're only a small part of how you think and feel about him. Getting over someone isn't just about accepting the fact that it's over, it's also about accepting how you feel.

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    • I think you are right. He kind of did treat me bad though. Not purposely but unknowingly.

    • Well then it's only natural for you to feel mad at him for those things. :)

  • Poor him lol
    The shit he do?

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  • I don't think harboring negativity like that is going to do you any good, especially if it happens to turn into a long term habit of some kind.

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  • no just make you seem bitter.

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  • nah, that just makes you think about him more, you just need to avoid talking about him all together
    also get im out of your thoughts, dont call message him, dont respond to calls or texts
    NOTHING NADA! ZIP ZERO! no contact at all

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  • No, it will just ingrain his image in your mind, all be it with mean but funny wordplay.

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  • Talking about him anything will remind you of his.. So no.
    Find peace with it.

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  • the more shit you say the more youthink about him so dont say anything and move on

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  • No, it will make. you look weak.
    Best way to get over him is to sleep with other people

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    • You got to kidding me!

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    • Thanks for your advice but I am not interested in sleeping around. Thanks.

    • Oh om, sorry, I thought you were looking for ways to get over him.

  • No, all that does is fill your own head with half-truths and whole lies just for the sake of making you feel better.

    "He doesn't deserve me"... what, are you royalty and your farts smell like orange sherbert, or something? I'm all for people having self-confidence, because it's great for many reasons. But this ISN'T self-confidence or esteem... it's just self-centered.

    I don't know what happened as for why things didn't pan out like you'd hope, but I doubt he's a horrible person that did you wrong. He (or the situation) had reasons for things just not working out. Doesn't mean you need to build him up to be this shitty person in your head because of it.

    TL;DR
    No, just get over it without having to put someone else down to do it.

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What Girls Said 11

  • Not really... When I want to forget someone. I just see the big picture. Which is" ok it didn't work out. Well what are you gonna do? I'm gonna continue my life. Have fun. And I hope he finds happiness. And if he already has, I hope its lasts ". Seriously when I'm kind and polite and just let the hate go out of my system, I realise I'm better off and truly hope the best for him, too. You'll feel so much better and proud of yourself... You can try it...

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  • I disagree with some of the opinions here. You said talk badly about him to yourself only, and yes, this is a fantastic coping mechanism. Listing his imperfections in your mind will make him less of a catch.

    Shoot, write them down and tape them on your mirror.

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  • Nope. You'd just grow to be more bitter.

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  • No, you need to try to stop thinking about him altogether. When he starts creepin into your head, consciously and actively push him out. That's how habits are formed. If you let yourself dwell on him - even negatively - you'll never let it go.

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  • Yep, think about all of his flaws. Like the really negative ones. Not the ones your brain can twist into seeming "endearing"

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  • No, it's just gonna make you think about him more, even if it's 'shitty' thoughts.

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    • How to get over him? I can't stop thinking of him! It's killing me
      :/

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    • Geez he is shy. Find ways to touch him and take it up a notch each time. If he don't move away he likes you. If you do it right he'll be turned on and might even chase.

    • I did touch him a little, like putting my hand on his wrist or arm when we talk. He didn't move away too. But the thing is, after those 2 incidents I mentioned above, he started ignoring me and talking more to my friend. For example, he wanted our textbook of Chemistry (we are his juniors) so he asked my friend to give it to him. In other circumstances, he would ask me to do so. He rarely replied my texts and ususally those replies were short. But he would reply my friend's texts and talk to her more than he did to me.

  • Don't listen to all these stupid fuckers everyone talks shit about their ex in their brain or outloud after they break up lol like "oh she was a whiny bitch anyways"

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  • No, that won't help. Try distracting yourself instead. Karate helps, I find.

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  • Why, what did he do?

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    • Although unkowingly, he did treat me bad.

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    • Well, there were few instances when he ignored me completely. He said some things which hurt me (I am sure he did this unknowingly though)

    • Oh, so he lied to himself?

  • I think it kinda of helps (sometimes). The more you tell yourself something, the more you believe it.

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  • No, i tried this multiple times (imagining him pooping to feel disgusted about him lol). If your heart is invested in him, it will take time for you to move on from him.

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