Girls, what would you say are the best ways to overcome my unchangeable disadvantages in todays dating scene?

So my work sometimes keeps me pretty busy, so I rarely have time to date or anything. But I'm back in Canada for a while, and I felt like jumping back in and curing my dry spell. When it comes to dating, the two things that work against me right off the bat would be my height and race. As a 5'5 guy, there aren't a lot of options for me, as it seems like even short girls want a tall towering guy these days. Actually I was just reading a question on here about the height of girls current boyfriends, and most were pretty tall, even amongst the girls who are very short. So that's the first thing

Second thing that seems to be a bit of setback is my race. I wouldn't change it if I could, because I love my heritage and the way I look overall, but I do pay attention to a lot of the stuff being released by dating sites and such, like how black guys are the least likely to get responses back and all that. Also the last time I was in college, I found it really difficult to attract college black women, as many of them dated interracially exclusively... so I'm kinda lost as to who I should pursue.

So let me know what the best ways a guy like myself can attract you personally, as it will give me some ideas that I can incorporate while I'm out with my friends over the next few days. Historically, I was never really the guy who made girls wet, if you know what I mean lol... because im not a jock, athlete or anything like thar, but I'm usually pleasant to be around, and I've got a very big sense if humor. Just looking to add some extra flavor here. Cheers

Why do I have more guys answering than girls eh?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well bare in mind I've never really dated but I from being on this site I've noticed that there's a lot of questions about guys complaining about being friend zoned and girls trying to get their fuck buddies to fall in love with them.

    So that tells me that girls are more likely to be in love with their fuck buddies than their friends. I suppose you could go the classic "dating" approach but if you're too slow to escalate then they lose interest.

    So this might sound bad but I think you should just approach a bunch of girls and try to get someone who is ok with a casual friends with benefits sort of thing and then progress it to a real relationship. Sure you will probably get a bunch of no's but once you get a yes you're golden. It's better than investing g a bunch of time into one girl and having her string you along for months.

    Focus on apoaching short girls 5ft-5'3

    as I said I've never dated so take my advice with a grain of salt. Just based on my observations and what I read on this sight it seems the slow approach is the worst for a guy to take :/

    • thanks for your input. what i normally do is go for women shorter in the range you suggested. i just find that girls are going crazy these days for guys the size of giants, and i can't really compete with that naturally

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    • thanks for mh


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • It's probably a timing issue. You might be more magnetic when you have a job.

  • you'll honestly just have to lower your standards and be really nice and give girls compliments like you're beautiful but don't over do it


What Guys Said 4

  • For the most part, you are right, there is nothing you can do. Although height can be slightly transformed with certain styles of shoes, it is still like living a lie. In the end, it is best not to invest too much emotional energy in the things which you cannot control, the only difference worrying about it will make is how much you worry about it. Instead, focus on the things you can control.

    Online dating is pretty much pointless, but I would suggest having a creative and wacky profile rather than a descriptive and honest one, you can get to know each other through other mediums. The purpose of your profile is to attract attention, and most importantly stand out. In one of my profiles I claim to be an alien interested in the human species, and in another I claim to be Batman. Girls message me telling me specifically that they like seeing a fun creative profile because it's different.

    Same goes for the messages you send. I have had more success with literal gibberish than with sincere attempts to "sell myself" through similar interests and whatnot.

    Furthermore, any girls you are talking to must be treated in a special way. This means actually calling them, no more texting. Plan a phone call, and follow through!

    In the real world, don't go to places that are too loud, conversation is key. don't make picking up a girl your goal. The best relationships start out as friendships, so try to make friends first. Most importantly, listen to them for 90% of the time and respond with a comment and another question 10% of the time. When they reach a point that they have said too much about themselves, they will most likely feel obligated to get to know you too, which is when you set up a day for something simple, coffee or whatever, then you CALL her the next day to confirm and tell her an interesting story.

    • I actually don't online date anymore. I just read the stuff they publish about girls preferences. But yeah I try not to get too bogged down by what I can't change, but since its there, I've gotta do what I can to work with it or around it. Some of your advice though is stuff I normally do anyways so I guess I'll stick with it

  • not to make a bad joke but if what those dating sites say is true... I must be a black man.. I hardly get any responses at all lol. I use dating sites as a supplement to dating... but still though. I mean that might be true (and I'm sorry it is) but I rarely have any luck either if that maybe makes you feel better? I'm in the same boat though, I was never a jock or anything like that.

    I wish you the best of luck, online dating is cutthroat.

    • Well I don't really online date anymore... but I do read the data and studies they release to the public

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    • That may be part of it, but I was in the same college with them at the time, so I clearly wasn't in prison lol. I think that it largely has to do with dating white being seen as dating up

    • THAT very well could be it as well. ... women.. who knows? lol jk.

  • "As a 5'5 guy, there aren't a lot of options for me, as it seems like even short girls want a tall towering guy these days." <----- oh oh oh

    why you consinder your height like it's the end of the world basically?

  • How about dating taller women also you can date Hispanic women & Asian women I don't suggest black women because they average at 5'7

    • Taller women? That's even harder than shorter women xD I would if they were into shorter men, which doesn't happen often

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    • @notedkibbles where did you read that black women average 5'7? and in what country is that?

    • Its a guess I made since most black women I see are tallish or tall