How to get over the fear of being cheated on?

My first relationship ended with her cheating on me, then we get back together and she cheats with me on her old boyfriend. I'm scared shitless to get into another relationship.. It feels like cheating is the new normal nowadays, and its feels like a "If you can't beat em, join em." Kind of situation.

I honestly would never cheat. I couldnt. But its so easy for people though. How can i ever get over this? If i ever get into a relationship again, and all is good, i still feel like eventually i will get cheated on in the long run.

The stories of couples that were married with children for 15 years and then they get cheated on? I couldnt ever deal with that, i honestly dont know what i would do.

The statistics of cheaters in this world, it just seems like its bound to happen every single time, and im honestly scared shitless. Its the ultimate betrayal, and the worst possible emotional destroying thing that could happen to me.

Like seriously, i want to get married some day, and i want to be able to carry my name into the next generation and have children. But if cheating is so normal then what the fuck is the point?

I wish someone could convince me otherwise, but its just the sad truth. Everyone fucking cheats.

Updates:
Still looking for opinions?
Hope i can find someone worthy..

0|0
7|7

Most Helpful Girl

  • I got broken up with (kind of) for this reason. Two days ago and I'm kind of devastated. The guy I was dating still hasn't recovered from his girlfriend who cheated on him last year before we met.

    I'm an honest person and I was upfront about my feelings towards him throughout everything. I told him about my previous relationships and we established what we called the 'honesty policy.' We would always tell each other the truth, even if it was awkward or difficult to talk about.

    There's no easy way to recover from betrayal. But it does need to be dealt with and if someone loves you, they'll be willing to work through it with you, that's what a true partnership is. Just take things slow when you meet someone and over time you'll learn about their morals and whether they gain your trust. I hope you find that.

    0|0
    0|0
    • In addition, you're jeopardizing your relationships by not giving people the slightest bit of trust. People deserve your trust until they prove otherwise and as long as you're observant and fair there's no reason you couldn't find a trustworthy person. Don't be like the guy I was dating, don't lose someone who genuinely loves you, purely because you're scared of being betrayed.

What Girls Said 6

  • Just because your ex cheated, now everyone cheats? No.
    I won't say it's easy to find loyal people but, it's possible. You just have to look for it.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Its not all because my ex cheated, sure it has something to do with it. I mean all the stats that say cheating is so normal now, and all these people on GAG talking about how their boyfriends/girlfriends are cheating, people that are married and having to deal with it, with CHILDREN. I don't know how i could deal w/ that.

    • Show All
    • Your right. Then how do i stop worrying about it? How do i believe my next relationship will be a good one?

    • Maybe take sometime for yourself before you get into another relationship. The fact that you went back to your girl after she cheated shows a lot about you.
      Don't wear your heart on your sleeve. Don't trust too fast. Take time to really form a relationship and bond with a girl. Get to know her. The rest is trust.
      You said 'I would honestly never cheat, I couldn't' do you think you're the only one that's like that?

  • Just because one person cheats on you doesn't mean everyone else will. Honestly if you are so afraid and insecure, at this time, dating should be the last thing on your mind. Especially if you are thinking this way. The only way to get over your fear is to learn to let go of the past and not hold it against the next person you date. But if you continue thinking this way you will never be happy with anyone else.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Honestly, my ex is the least of my worries when it comes to it. But when i started researching and looking into other peoples experiences, it seems like its just bound to happen in every relationship.. The stats on cheating, my buddies experiences, lots of people on GAG crying about it.

      How do i stop thinking like this then? How do i stop worrying about it?

  • If you really want to get over your fear of cheating you need to let your old girl go. Just because you had a bad experience and it didn't work even after you decided to try it one more time doesn't mean there aren't any other girls who want a serious relationship. You just have to look deeper into it. Good luck.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Find someone who is very blunt and logical to the point they are honest 24/7. Also someone who doesn't care about other people to much, lol.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Just accept that cheating happens. Find a woman you love, if you want to marry her then ask her to. And live your life without trying to figure out if she's cheating or not. "What you don't know won't hurt!"

    0|0
    0|0
  • You really think you're the only person that thinks the way you do? Fuck stats, thats all bullshit. Everyone is different. You either cheat, or you dont. Yes people get married, and some cheat, but you can't live in fear of that.

    The whole point is, you gotta keep moving. You may get cheated on again, who knows? But you can't let it get you down. there's plenty of good hearted people out there that won't even think of cheating. Just like you. But you gotta got through the bad apples, until you find the right one.

    Once again, you can't let the fear of being cheated on get you down. there's a lot of them out there. But if you get into a relationship with someone and your still fearful on the subject, that will only hurt your relationship, even if they aren't going to cheat on you.

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 7

  • Bro bro, you need to change your way of looking at this. What people don't seem to realise is that long term monogamy is NOT natural to human beings, some can stay with one partner for life and never look at anybody else, just like some people can go through life only eating potato. Most, cannot do this and will fail at doing this every single time. sexual psychology has been studied in great depth but most people refuse to accept the truths. Humans naturaly will have a few long term partners in their lifetime, but every so often they will have flings outside of that relationship. That's scientific fact and is still backed up by the research done today, by studying modern relationship patterns.
    Once you accept this, and you understand it, you can then and only then think about and plan your future relationships in logical manner.

    How can you dissolve your fear of being cheated on? By changing the way you view the act. Once you realise that your long term partner sleeping with another man isn't actually a betrayel, or anything remotely to do with you or your relationship, you can then learn (and it takes time to recover from the social brainwashing that is monogamy) to deal with it. You must accept that almost all humans have these sexual urges and no not fulfill them will do nothing but bring resentment into your relationship, that resentment and frustration can be held down for a long time, but for example after 15 years of marriage, that resentment and frustration will soon cause cracks and before you know it you are signing divorce papers.

    I firmly believe the way to a LONG happy and healthy relationship is to not hold boundaries over our partners natural human desires and sexual freedom, and use our insecurities and jealousy as some poor attempt at a justification.

    I was once the same as you, I was cheated on over and over again. I never understood why. Then i studied human sexualy, realised they were just normal and it was I that had the problem.

    0|0
    1|1
    • I now have a completely honest and trusting open relationship with my wife. We still have boundaries but if she or i want to sleep with somebody else then we do it, and we are completely honest and open, and it is the most solid, secure, loving and fullfilling relationship that I could ever have imagined. Just imagine not having that burden of worry about infidelity. It's so liberating.

    • Show All
    • Lol you are 19, you are a child, why am I even debating with you haha

    • @serenitycupcake
      This guy has also said that he throatfucks his wife till she's coughing up blood. This is the last person I would ever take advice from.

  • Lol you still crawl back to her after she cheated on you.

    Don't be thinking about married and shit already, that for girls.

    Not everyone cheats, and you know it.

    Just don't give them your trust so soon next time, take thing slow and prepare your heart. Never let your interest level rise above her interest level. Woman with high interest level NEVER cheat.

    0|0
    1|0
  • Ok here's a few tips dont go for overconfident women they tend to cheat more as they're always looking for something better. Two do not go after extremely hot females chances are everyother guy wants a piece of that action as well. Three if you think she's gonna cheat on you because you think she can do better you have already lost and need to re-evaluate your situation. Four do not try to date women you met at a bar or club chances are they are only their for a hookup/one night stand. Also being overbearing and having trust issues in a relationship could cause her to leave/potentially cheat on you.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Why did you get back together with her after she cheated on you

    0|0
    0|0
    • I feel like everyone cheats, so why not? The next one i find will probably cheat too. Might as well try to keep her as hard as i can.

    • That's right, almost everybody will cheat at some time. That's why we need to eliminate the need for deciet, if we give our partners the chance to be open and upfront about it, then it's nowhere near as big a deal :)

  • Get over your insecurities

    0|0
    0|0
  • She cheated on you once why you gived her second chance? See now you lost your trust in most girls if not all girls right?

    Now you must know even most nice handsome richest guy could be cheated on the cheater is cheater inside himself herself you can't blame yourself always but I still dont know why she cheated you twice however thats not the case. Your biggest mistake was when you gave her second chance. Now just take some long rest and stay single clear your ideas that not all women cheaters this is not true. The girl you talking about she's bitch and have no loyality and fucking careless person

    Now for the next time do your best in the relationship and find good women dont go for whores find women share your dreams your thoughts.

    And 1 question do you beilive in jealousy? Or no?

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't care what anyone in this thread has told you (especially girls), I can tell you from personal experiences and close friends (who have even been married for over decade) that you can never let your guard down when it comes to women and cheating. The person that cares less about the relationship is the one with the power and the one that doesn't get caught off guard by those types of actions.

    It doesn't mean that you can't love a woman, but that you must always be aware that it IS a possibility. Women are emotional and react to instant gratification so the moment that you start to have a "off day" they start reconsidering your importance.

    People are going to disagree but that is what my life has shown me CONSISTENTLY.

    0|0
    2|1
    • So then i would have to worry about caring too much even if im not?

Loading...