We just broke up, but he keeps calling to "check how I'm feeling, because he cares". What?!

Basically, my ex and I dated on and off for over a year, and were really attracted to each other, and a few months ago, we got serious and committed full-time. We both knew he was going to be busy these next few months, as it's his senior year in college. He's currently working full-time at MLB doing risk management, going to school full-time, is pursuing a second internship, has tons of job interviews coming up, and is making his case to MLB to hire him full time off an internship roster.

Anyways, so about a week ago, he said he wanted to take a break over our college midterms so he could concentrate on his studies. I agreed, but I had a feeling something was up.

Two days in, I found out he was planning to break up with me via his fraternity brothers, so I confronted him about it. At that point, he admitted it, saying he was "just too busy to deal with a relationship right now on top of everything else." He went on to say he did still love me and care about me a lot, and wants to remain a close friend of mine and be able to take me out when he does have spare time, and he doesn't wanna rule out the possibility of getting back together. Now, obviously I've been upset, but I'm coping the best I can.

That evening, he proceeded to text me at 2 am, telling me he was lonely and he was never 100% sure of his actions and I should understand that. We texted a bit about our mutual loneliness, and left it at that.

Two days later, he publicized over Facebook that he'd been ill, so I called him to see how he was feeling. He didn't answer, no big deal. Next day, I got a text from him apologizing for missing my call. I told him I just wanted to see if he was feeling better, and it was no harm done. He called me sweet, then we texted for a bit, and left it at that.

Now last night, I found out he Facebooked my roommate to check up on me and see how I was doing, and he called me around 11 to ask me the same thing and ask me how I am and what I'm up to, and to tell me to be careful and behave myself if I go out. What?!

I just don't understand his actions. I'm not sure if he wants to get back together or if he just wants to be friends and is taking the friendliness too fast, too soon.


Most Helpful Girl

  • It sounds like he doesn't know what he wants at all, and frankly that's not a comforting thing. If you do know what you want and this isn't it, then stop pursuing this person. Granted he's super busy and he has a million things to do, but the president of this country still has time to play golf and spend time with his wife and kids, so time management is totally possible no matter how busy someone is. If you were really a priority, he wouldn't be yo-yoing back and forth and putting you on the backburner in contrast to his other work. You deserve better. If you are looking for someone to treat you well and date, this probably isn't the guy. Give him another chance if you want, by telling him that you aren't a yo-yo and that he has to make a choice. He can't expect to keep you waiting around without any strings while he decides what to do with you, you are worth more than that. Know your value and allow him to make a choice if he's so confused. Or, make it for him. There are 6 billion fish in the sea, why hang around for the one that keeps flip-flopping in the sand? You deserve to be loved and cared about consistently. If he can't make that commitment, move on.