I recently joined a dating website and met a nice guy right away. He messaged me, was always very polite, and flirted a little. We met for coffee and he turned out to be the real deal. He is nice looking and owns a successful business. We talked for almost 2 hours and seemed to have a good connection. He asked many thoughtful questions and seemed to be genuinely interested in me and my future. At times it was like he was interviewing me for the position of girlfriend or wife. I am a very confident woman and my profile was honest, so I didn't mind answering his questions. I like a man who is selective and he says that he has been searching for his "match" for 7 months now. I'm also usually very intuitive. I felt like he was physically attracted and mentally stimulated by our easy-flowing conversation. I sent him a message a few days later to say that I enjoyed meeting and talking with him, but so far he has not responded. It has now been almost 2 weeks. Does this mean that he is definitely NOT interested? Or that he's talking with other women and carefully weighing his options? Or that he's busy working and watching the basketball championship with his buddies? I'm confused!
Most Helpful Guy
I think you probably over-answered his questions and ended up triggering a red flag.
While you felt comfortable answering the questions he asked, you should not be answering in a lot of detail in the first date. The first few meetings are not intended to be an interview. It should be causal chattiness and fun.
The reason to be vague in your answers is because a guy at his age (mid-30's I'm assuming), will have his scanners on full alert. By his age, he is probably looking for a long-term relationship or potential wife. But with age, he has also become extremely picky. Girls do this also.
Basically, he's looking for a wife, but in the back of his head, he has all these criteria and expectations of his perfect mate. Red flags could be: she smokes, she drinks/parties too much, she has pets and he's allergic, she seems like she has baggage or too much drama, bad family relationships, too many ex-boyfriends... etc.
By going into too much detail before he has committed to liking you, you triggered a number of red flags and he may have decided to bail - even though you two got along during your meeting. Let's assume his red flag was that you had a giant dog and he's allergic, or you smoke. If you guys met for several dates first, had some fun, kissed, etc... whatever it leads up to... then he finds out you had a dog - or that you smoke - he is more likely to stick around and give it a try.0