My girl got pregnant by another guy?

We're long distance........ I've known her sense we were 13 we're 20 now according to her we werent and still aren't "official" but she had me promise to wait and be loyal to her as she would to me. She invited a guy over, got drunk with him there alone, they were watching movies and eating popcorn because she asked him if he was ok and he said he was "upset" so she felt bad for him and he was touching her leg and she would push him away and i guess she woke up fully clothed with him gone... couple weeks later she finds out she's pregnant.... the guy admits they had sex she didn't even know about and bails because he doesn't want a kid and they dont talk...... she can't have kids but she wants to push to have this one for some reason whether she dies in the process or not.... She wants me to be there for her but it really hurts...... Deep down a side of me want to ignore all this ever happened but i know if she has this child it will be a constant reminder to me of what could have been ours....... Im broken between leaving this girl i put so much time and love into, or staying with her knowing the baby isn't mine and the possiblitiy she's doing all this so this baby has a father......... I need opinions please....... She told me it isn't my responsibility but in the end if i stay with her won't it be? I really do love her with all my heart but i can't take responsibility for something i didn't do.... im only 20...

Updates:
. I asked her if she would forgive me if i did this to her and she said she would but you never now what you would do in a scenario like this until you go through it yourself... i told her she needs to prove to me she loves me and wants to be with me and she needs to prove to me i can trust her again. A side of me wants to stay but im afraid ill just get hurt again...

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Wait, so why was she drinking with a guy alone in her apartment?

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What Girls Said 9

  • So this guy raped her. She didn't give consent. And her body can't handle giving birth? Adoption, abortion... options. You can be there for her but not legally. You are under NO obligation to be there legally. You have NO responsibility to that child. Do NOT sign the birth certificate.

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    • I'm not buying her story. I think she is lying to get his sympathy and attention. He should RUN from this girl as fast as he can. She is MAJOR trouble.

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    • If he was drunk she technically raped him also.

    • I'm not buying her sorry, honestly. BUT we're going to give her the benefit of the doubt on the whole rape part. Her story is still so full of holes it's not even funny.

  • I'm sorry, you girlfriend was drunk, some dude - who was obviously nowhere near as drunk - had sex with her after she had pushed him away multiple times that evening, and then she 'magically' ended up dressed again by the end of the night and you're 'hurt' she's pregnant?

    You asshole, she got sexually assaulted and you're sore because someone else's dick got there first. What the fuck is your problem?

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    • You do not have to claim this child, but seriously dude. Get your fucking priorities straight.

    • Calm down. We don't know what happened... She could have had sex with him, she could have been sexually assaulted.. we do not know.

      How would you feel in his situation where your significant other was potentially sexually assaulted. I'm sure he's not mad because '' Someone got there first'' very poor words to choose... the pain they both must be going through.

  • Oh my gosh I'm sorry if this sounds messed up but I'd drop her and leave. She promised to be faithful and tainted it. Ohhh so messed up dude, she didn't have her heart in the right place. I don't think she was harmed in the process she invited a dude and they got drunk like what do you expect, hate to assume but when another guy is around I assume he wants something sexual. That's why one should avoid those situations. SMH You are NOT obligated to raise that child, see wasn't loyal to you though do you really want to continue to go through WHAT IF she does something like this again and so on?

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  • Wow--that is tough. Guess it all boils down to how big of a man you decide to become. Admittedly, there aren't many men who could stomach it. No one would blame you for walking away! Even she said it wasn't your responsibility. And there could be a lot of unhealthy resentment. You can handle it one of two ways: 1) walk away, and don't look back. Find a new girl and fall in love. Leave the past in the past. 2) Stay with her, love her as long as she lives, and start a family together. A baby is a gift no matter where it came from or how it got here. If you can treat her and her baby with love, do it. If you can't, it's best to move on. Good luck to you. That's a pretty tough situation, and I a sorry your girl put you in that position.

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    • You contradicted yourself here...

    • Yes, I did... but that's because there are no easy answers, and no clear 'right or wrong' decision for this guy.

  • RUN!! She was NOT LOYAL and NOT SMART. Those types usually continue on that road. Run away from a disloyal, stupid woman. There are MANY other women out there that want a good guy and will be loyal and smart. She is a BIG problem, but lucky for you, NOT YOUR PROBLEM. Say goodbye to this one ASAP. Good luck

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  • That girls is lying she had sex with him and now he has left her and wants u there. Leave her.

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  • Dump her go find someone who truly loves you

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  • That is the definition of rape. If she was drinking and woke up with him in the morning with no memory of what happened or if she said yes, that is rape. Even if she said yes while she was drunk, that is still rape. Alcohol impairs judgement and interferes with clear communication. A person may be unable to say "no" clearly, loudly, and clearly.

    She shouldn't have to "prove her love" to you. You should believe her and support her through what ever decision she makes. She was trying to be a good friend and support him through a rough time.

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  • If she truly loves you, she'll get an abortion. There is still time.

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    • If she truly loves people (babies) in general, she won't

What Guys Said 13

  • It's not your baby, you have no responsibility to her. She asked you to be faithful and meanwhile, she was inviting guys over and drinking with them. Her story seems fabricated so she can play the victim in your eyes. I think you should leave in this scenario.

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  • That is an incredible, no perhaps unbelievable, story. I agree with others here, it's time to move on (yes, run the other way). It's amazing that we hang on to relationships even when we know they are bad. Maybe we have invested so much into them that we just don't want to walk away (though we know at some level that's the right thing) or maybe it's that we don't feel good enough about ourselves to believe we could find someone great (and be someone great) or maybe we just don't recognize what a good relationship is. Whatever the reason, know you have something and someone much better in your future. Good luck!

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  • If you believe her for even a second, you're an idiot. Open your eyes. It wasn't "consensual" huh? Inviting a guy over to get drunk at your place while you cuddle up and watch movies together while expecting nothing to happen is a load of bull. Also, I guarantee she didn't wake up fully clothed. Hell, she may not have even been drunk. When you're in a long distance relationship you don't have a single clue whether or not the other person is being faithful to you. Sorry to say it, but odds are pretty high that it was with her consent.

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  • This guy raped your girl. You need to get the cops - because she was drunk and didn't know it even happened? That amounts to rape.

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  • my advice... leave while you still can. its not your baby and she is a cheat. seriously dude, leave that relationship now.

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  • Do not play daddy to another mans child... this is something I tell
    My self everyday... these girls that pass on me now... I will not be with them when I am older taking care of their children when their tattoos sleeved, 10 dollar an hour, douchbag, "cool", funny, or "hot" boyfriends leave them
    Because they can't provide... I don't know you personally, but please man don't ever play daddy to another women's child ever... she needs to get an abortion and you need tonget the hell away from her asap

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  • Run as far away from her as you can. It will be very stupid of you if you get hurt by tripping over the same stone twice. She has already proved to you that she can't be trusted. There are many girls out their who won't ever break your trust. You are only 20 and you've got your whole life ahead and I'm pretty sure that you would not want to spend the rest of your life with a trust breaker. You're too good for her so throw her out of your life.

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  • Sorry she is a slut, try to have her commit abortion and dump her. Either way she got raped if its true or she is LYING which seems more plausible, these kind of girls ain't loyal and cut your losses right off.

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    • So every girl who says she was raped is a slut and not loyal?

    • Remember we are taking this guy by his word which seems to be shaky in its context.

    • & its not about slut shaming in its misappropriated form these days nor neither is it condoning rape culture or angling to throw a shot at false feminism.

  • well i think you should question her throughly i mean why would she force you to wait for her if she was gonna constantly go out and make friend s with dudes and if she was then she should hve kicked him out as soon as he touched her thigh its mainly her fault i think you should try to stay with her but if she still seems to betray you leave her

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  • Hey , don't be fool she already dumped you if she really loves you she won't even invite a guy to her room.. and even have sex with him WTF!!
    Just run away she doesn't deserve you , you've been loyal for long years and only god knows what she's been doing that period.. maybe she was dumping you all the time until she caught up with a baby.
    anyways , god bless her and you too :)
    in my opinion just run away you're still young and you didn't hurt her

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  • Dump her cheating ASS! That simple

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  • The rapist should be responsible not you. Personal id seek the courts

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  • She wasn't raped, she cheated and is throwing the guy under a bus so you won't break up with her. And on top of it, she's gene shopping--getting fucked by guys she actually finds attractive but sticks you with the bill because it seems like a safe bet. Dump her ass, and stay away from her. Do NOT get involved with the baby in any way at all, not even a penny, or she can still hit you up for child support--if you look or act like a father, courts will still order you to cut a check to her. Drop her.

    SMH at the social justice warriors actually thinking this was rape. Get a clue. Classic scenario for a lie.

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  • Sorry man but you have to end it and tell her NO. She was not loyal to you. Dump her and run.

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