I'm giving up on girls but I don't know what to do next?

So I've been unsuccessful in finding a girl for over 15 years now. Never had a girlfriend, kissed or had sex. Now I feel like giving up because it's too disappointing and literally depressing. Some guys are good enough to get a girl everyday but for me it will be almost 2 decades now since I started liking them. I'm at the point where I don't even care about sex and willing to date an asexual girl just so I can't be lonely anymore. I mean I'm probably 3 to 5 out of 10 looks wise and I'm of a below average height (5'8) with an okay muscle tone but I've still been told by other guys that I dress well plus my hygiene is pretty good too. My social skills are alright too so I'm just not sure why none of the girls are interested in me. They don't even talk to me or look at me but almost all my friends get attention from all kinds of girls. I don't know, I'm not as upset as I used to be but I'm just not sure what's wrong with me. Even though this sounds stupid, I feel like plastic surgery would do wonders. Lol if anyone I know reads this, they will make fun of me for the longest time but I'm really not sure what's wrong with me. I'm not a horrible guy or anything, even though no one believes they are so I don't know why no one is ever into me. I feel like giving up but I don't know what to do next. It's not easy to try getting rid of girls out of your head, no matter how hard you try. I've tried it before.

Updates:
I wish there was a way I could get more answers.
@PrincessofPersia You're 16 years old. That means you've been wanting a boyfriend since you were 1 year old or right when you were born. And what are you trying to say? Suck what up? You're the only one complaining about my question so I basically told you not to answer if you see a similar question like this since it's GAG. Your last response makes no sense at all whatsoever. I like how you blocked me though.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • look, i've seen many guys who look ugly, guys who don't smell good, guys who ain't so smart, shy guys, and totally not funny or good looking guys that have girlfriends. This is never a problem on getting a girl, since everyone fits somewhere. I'm not sure what kind of a girl you're searching for (?), but if you'd put much self-confidence, and invite someone out once and twice, until she accepts to go out with you, i believe that she'll like you (based on your description about your personality).

    p. s never tell a girl that you're 27 and you never kissed or had sex, cause we live in a period when this happenes during the adolescence to most of people, and if you give them this information, it might freak them out, it might make them think that something is so wrong with you.. which seemingly is not true at all.. just lie to them about your past experiences (if u disscuss about this), and things are going to be good. Oh, and, make sure with who u're staying with, maybe your friends have stalked you..

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    • I know I shouldn't tell since girls find it a turn off but if my past dating history comes up, I can't help it but tell the truth. I want a girl to like me for who I am, not what they expect me to be.

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    • Okay then

    • "is that you on the picture you got at your profile (not this one, the other one in)"

      Okay. Which picture were you talking about? That's all I asked. And I don't get why at one point, girls talk and then all of a sudden they completely start ignoring the guy. Like do some girls not realize how rude that is?

What Girls Said 18

  • You've gotta keep trying! There is someone out there for everyone! Probably more than just one person! The world has more than 7 billion people in it. Change up your daily routine. Go different places to meet different people. Explore new interests. Reach out to old friends. Sometimes I feel like I'm never going to find the right guy either. 2/3 of my past boyfriends cheated on me and showed zero remorse. The third guy and I fell apart after we took a break. I thought I was never going to find another guy like him. But there are so many people out there. All it takes is one event, mistake, coincidence for you to find someone who you really hit it off with. It sometimes takes time. My uncle is 51 and isn't married. He just recently started seeing a girl that for once he's serious about. This stuff takes time! When you do find the right girl she will appreciate you because you'll appreciate her because of all your past struggles! The most important thing is to not get down and just keep your head up

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    • I know there are billions of people and plenty of fish in the sea but from what I've noticed and read online, majority of the girls are mainly attracted to only small percentage of the male population and expect guys to be a certain way rather than appreciate them for who they are. I mean 15 years and no luck really sucks. Imagine if you had gone through 15 years hoping to get a guy to like you or give you attention after you went through puberty yet not found a single one. You'd feel like giving up too. I wanna keep trying but my confidence is not even close to being high as it was 5 or 10 years ago. Back then, I told myself I was only a teen or only in my early 20's but now, I'm less than 3 years away from being 30. And your uncle that you mentioned, even though he might be unmarried, I'm sure he still dated women though. It just that he never found the right now. Personally, I've never even found a girl who is willing to date me for the past 15 years.

  • Ok, I know you may have heard this before, but really try hard not to look for someone. I've been single most of my life and I wouldn't say I'm ugly, but before I had very little confidence and that's why I barely got attention from guys. I truly think you need to be happy with yourself before someone else can be happy with you. Maybe start working out or play a sport you love. I play coed soccer and I meet soooo many people. That would be a great place to meet someone, but don't expect too much, just focus on what you love to do and eventually the right girl will come. You really are a good looking guy, so I know you will get a great girl. Confidence, humour and respect are KEY.

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    • Even if girls weren't confident, I thought it didn't matter since there are tons of guys who go around approaching girls. Even the most unattractive girls have guys lined up at times to approach them and I think you're gorgeous so I'm surprised that you barely get any attention from guys.

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    • I guess I would have to know you as a person to figure out if there's something wrong. Try not to put yourself down though. Someone will come along. I promise.

    • I'm not putting myself down. 15 years is a lot of time. In another 15 years, I'll be 42 to 43.

  • You can be negative all you want. and I get, you're lonely. You have been for years. You haven't had any luck yet. But I can guarantee you that you're not the only one. No one knows why they have luck with dating or a lack there of. All I can say is that everyone is different. Every life, all experiences, are completely unique. It's easy to compare yourself to others, but that doesn't mean that that's what you should do. And I understand that back when you were a bit younger, you had more confidence. I know it's harder, but You need to maintain that confidence! You have to love yourself before you can love someone else. and who knows? Maybe since you're "giving up" and moving on with your life, someone will finally bump into you. But you have to really let it go. Just live your life. Having a partner ADDS to your happiness, but it won't make you HAPPY. You make yourself happy. So go live a fulfilling life! You're only 27, you have A LOT of life still ahead of you, your time will come. It's just quite a bit later than most. Good luck

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    • Thank you. You're kind but let's see. I'm not too sure yet about what to do since it's not very motivating to keep on looking. If there was any positive vibe from girls, I wouldn't give up but there isn't.

  • It's so interesting how everything you mentioned was about your looks. What's your personality like?

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    • There were like 2 sentences where I mentioned about my looks. And I'm pretty social at times and can be funny. Some say I'm one of the funniest guys they have ever met, even though I'm rarely funny on here. My personality is okay I guess. I'm never mean to anyone unless they start shit with me so yeah. I just don't get how I can't seem to attract any attention for the past 15 years.

    • Work on your social skills and confidence.

    • Been there, done that. In the end, I'm still human and can't be stoic to non stop rejection and neglection. It can wear you down.

  • There is absolutely nothing wrong with you and I don't know you personally to really evaluate you has a person to delineate the reasons as to why you seem to be unsuccessful with women. Although, judging by your description, you seem to be intelligent and a seemingly kind person. I really wish I had a solution but all I can say is, be more positive and confident whilst being yourself. Good luck!!
    by the way, don't consider plastic surgery.. I'm sure there are girls out there that will find you handsome :)

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    • I'm not sure. If there were girls who found me handsome, I'm sure I'd have at least few giving me hints or telling me that I am for almost the past 2 decades.

  • Maybe you're too serious or perhaps quiet in person that gives women a second thought of talking to you? Or if not, could be they're just waiting for you to make a move, like to flirt with them first or invite them for walk/date or something like that.

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  • I see where you're coming from, I've been looking for someone too and if I was 27 and no luck I'd be frustrated too.

    But I guess, get a hobby. Something to occupy your time with

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  • You're not ugly.

    If it's been THAT long, perhaps this issue lies deeper than your physical appearance... perhaps it's your personality? I mean, nobody here knows you for real, so you could be weird as hell in real life for all we know. Do you take initiative to approach girls? Are your standards realistic?

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  • Challenge yourself. Pick up some new hobbies. You can travel, that'll help in meeting new people. Join some kind of team. Anything to keep you distracted.

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  • The only problem I have with you is your lack of confidence. Believe it or not confidence goes a long way with girls... you can be the most attractive guy with little confidence and girls won't dig it but you can also be very unattractive and yet be confident and have a good personality and girls will love you.

    You decide. For the record you're not unattractive.

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    • After 15 years, any person would lack confidence. There have been many times when I rode high with confidence though. And not being unattractive actually isn't good enough if you aren't either tall, rich, buff, etc from what I've noticed over the years. Average isn't good enough.

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    • What other option do you have? To give up? And that seems reasonable to you?

    • Giving up is actually better than continuously approaching them and keep on being rejected. And I've experienced this for almost 2 decades. At least after giving up, you stop being completely disappointed so I don't know.

  • First of all i just wanted to say your height doesn't seem that bad. I hear that 5'8" is literally average height in men. Anyways back to your question I don't know. I think you just need a break from women. Which is super ok. Maybe you'll be willing to try again after a little while. I say just take a break, be free, and when you find a woman who seems enjoyable to you go after her. Good luck!

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    • I've actually taken many breaks.

  • Do you accept arranged marriages?

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    • Not at all. I've told my parents I'd rather be single rest of my life than go for an arranged marriage.

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    • Ok read the rest in details. I think you don't look friendly. You look distant and think only about yourself only. You're closed off to the rest of the universe. You're stuck in your own milky way.

    • Umm okay.

  • Why do I see so many of these boo hoo I'm gonna be forever alone questions on here?

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    • It's a GAG site. What do you expect? And no one told you to read and answer it. Try to respect other people's problems next time.

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    • It's obviously a real issue people have to deal with. What's you're problem with it?

    • I think you all need to calm down. She has a point. Where is self pity going to take you? It seems to be more of an attention seeking thing than anything else.

  • You can always experiment with online dating. I am super shy and I don't go to clubs or parties and I found my amazing boyfriend online and he is the best thing to have every happened to me. Try online or, have friend Introduce you to people

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    • I've tried many online dating sites in the past but literally none of the girls ever showed interest in me or even talked to me so I gave up on that.

  • You honestly don't need a man or woman to make you happy.
    There is so many things in this world to explore and to achieve.
    & You're only 27.
    Great things don't come easy.
    Don't give up! Keep trying.

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  • dude i have been trying to contact you and getting in touch with you but you are in china studying med school. how are we supposed to meet or get together?

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    • Um what?

    • why are you always so confused?

  • Well, if it makes you feel any better, lookswise you're exactly my type.

    Mm, beards. <3

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    • If anyone actually believed that, they wouldn't answer anonymously. I mean why hide if you wanna tell me that. Not that I'd stalk or anything.

    • Nothing at all to do with not believeing it. I'm just pretty shy about admitting I find a guy attractive. I've gone almost as long as you without recieving any attention from the opposite sex and now I just feel weird about findin people attractive. Almost like I don't feel I even have that right.

      So take the compliment dude.

    • Well, I guess a compliment is a compliment. Especially since I never get one.

What Guys Said 19

  • That sucks bro :/

    Maybe you should focus on your own life/hobby/goal, and stick to that. Sometimes it helps to not focus on girls and one might just pop into your life :)

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  • I find this hard to believe assuming you have put yourself in social situations with girls and aren't only pursuing the girls in very high demand. Learning about the other gender may help.

    I do think you can have a really enjoyable life without women and relationships though. I would pursue your interests. Maybe you want to work on a business or make art. Maybe you want to get more involved with a relation or spirituality.

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  • I think most guys have said this before... that they go completely off girls for a period. However, sometimes life has other things in store for you. It is altogether possible that you will meet that girl not too long after, that will change your mind!

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  • I could give you some tips on your problem but since you're question is 'what to do next?', it's easy. You content yourself on your hobbies, concentrate on your career and making money. MGTOW for the win. Do this and maybe you will eventually find a girl, although I must admit at your age now it will be much harder, having no experience at all yet. Lets be realistic. Anything else you want to ask just message me.

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  • Have you ever even approached the ladies? Sometimes you might be overdressed for things which makes you look like you're trying too hard.

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    • I've approached a ton girls in my life. And I don't overdress either. I've seen guys dressing like me have no problem getting attention.

    • It could be how you present yourself. Two can be wearing the same outfit, but maybe one has a more confident stature which does make a difference.
      It can be one of many things, I don't know you and I haven't seen you sooo I'm just guessing here.

  • God says you don't have that option. Sorry. You're just going to have to keep trying.

    Here, listen to Saychafunkilus. It'll help get your groove back.

    https://youtu.be/JdaKBGtCqDI

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  • Not sure if this is serious or a troll. But if you are serious, I can help you. Seriously.

    I'm was in the exact position as you not too long ago. I've got a solution for you. Hit me up.

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  • Below average... You're clearly not below average... confidence and a poor self image seems to be the problem here.

    You're AT LEAST AVERAGE, I would say above honestly though.

    I would work on confidence next.

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    • You have to have decent social skills, which you mentioned you do. You've also got to sell yourself. If you go door to door and try and sell a toaster, your body posture is not confident, your tone of voice is not confident.

      You say, the product is okay... a 3,5 out of 10 and it works good sometimes.

      Nobody is gonna buy that toaster.

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    • Uhhhhh, yes, yes they do. Often when someone is that age and never kissed or anything, there is a deeper issue... you think there aren't below average, average girls? There are below average to average guys and gals.

      I was almost 21 before I did anything, and I'm about to turn 22 so Iv'e been doing those things for a year now.

    • My problem was social problems, poor social skills, anxiety, shyness. Iv'e got a lot better at it, and I have a girlfriend now.

      Coincidence? No.

  • Ask yourself what you really want to do, try a Ted talk, saw one in lecture about 10 top things people regret not doing, and did that help change my views

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  • Do be like that. The more you give up in girls, the more you sound like a gay. :/

    Have you even tried to ask a girl out? Chase her around, always talk to her, or do other things that guys would do to get the girl they want.

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    • I'm not gay, and I've asked girls out many times.

    • I know you're not gay, I'm just saying you'd sound like gay if you give up on girls.

      And if you asked them out, how did you do it?

  • Good now instead of wasting time chasing ass you can better yourself and work on a career.

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    • I've always been focused on my career.

  • Dude, go to a dating site and fix yourself up an account. Many women your age will absolutely be desperate to date you, the minute they see your profile pic.

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    • I was on quite a few dating sites few years ago but failed miserably. None of the girls were willing to talk to me or message me back. Not even one girl talked to me on any of the dating sites.

    • Maybe you need a new wardrobe.

  • Pick up new hobbies and learn how to use escorts... I've never had a gf either... life isn't fair, but these other posters are right... pick up hobbies

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  • Sound like you are going to be gay

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  • cheer up bro. no doubts you have not a good time now , but don`t give up. doesn't matter how beautiful you are ,90% girls like boys not because of their outer. if i was you i`d took a prostitute

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  • This seems trollish to me. ¬.¬

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    • Then don't answer.

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    • Indeed. Just another internet troll here for attention.

    • Then why answer or post here doireallyneedone?

  • girls aren't everything in life. there are so many wonderful things you can do. you didn't waste the first 30 years of your life failing to find a woman. no. you wasted it failing becoming a decent human, cause you were self absorbed the whole time. do some community work, help with the common meals, indulge in humanitarian activities, try to find an art or musical instrument you like. and if you become the better version of yourself in that path its very probable you will meet a girl thats interested in you along the way as well.

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  • You cannot give up on girls. Never. This is because liking girls/females is akin to cancer. There is no cure. There is no escape. You will only wind up lonely and feel sorry about yourself.

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  • That's very crap. Just get some girls

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