My boyfriends mom excluded me?

My bf is 27 almost 28 and he is moving from pa to Georgia at the end of this week. His mom lives 10 minutes away from him and she invited him over for dinner yesterday. Well we get there and it is his step dad and his 26 year old brother and his 21 year old brother and his mom. His mom looks upset when we walked in for some reason. We had dinner kind of awkwardly and later on my bf says that his mom texted him after the dinner saying that she thought it was just going to be a family dinner. He said well insert my name is part of the family she is my gf of 4 years and soon we are going to be long distance and I won't see her a lot until she moves down there. I just feel upset that she didn't want me there Its always been assumed in the last that I'm invited why the sudden change after 4 years? Me and her always had a good relationship and we always gotten along well. What's the deal?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Sounds like miscommunication between her and her son. It was probably not anything personal against you - especially since you say you two have always gotten along - but perhaps she had intended to have a family dinner with just her boys, but forgot to communicate that to your boyfriend, or thought that she had implied so but didn't, or she did say it or imply it but he didn't hear it or the message didn't sink in... who knows.

    • I just dont know what difference it would make having me there. He is a 27 year old grown man and we are about to be. miles apart of course we are going to be together and my bf considers me family shouldn't his mom respect that

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    • What kind of things do you guys do together that doesn't include the other so

    • Nothing specifically... I'm just sayin' sometimes it's nice to just have an evening with the family you grew up with/raised. Is that so wrong? It's nothing against the SO's - we love them dearly.

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What Guys Said 1

  • She might have just wanted it to be her husband and sons. She wants her son all to herself. It probably isn't anything personal against you specifically.

    • Why though? In the 4 years we been together it has always been assumed I was invited. Besides she never mentioned she wanted it to be just them on the phone so she can't be upset that I came. I mean we are about to be miles apart naturally we are going to want to be together

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    • I bet you a thousand dollars if I changed bf to husband your answer would change and you would say she has to invite me. You're right she doesn't owe it to me to invite me but she owes it to her son to respect his adult relationship. Maybe you didn't read the part where I said that he is going to be moving states away so we want to be together

    • Besides what if we never. planned on getting married do i never get invited because I don't have a signed piece of paper saying I'm married?

What Girls Said 1

  • Maybe they wanted to discuss family matters that they didn't feel comfortable discussing with you around.

    • Well after four years shouldn't they feel comfortable enough with me? I'm going to be a permanent part in my guys life they can't keep secrets from me forever. Besides even if I wasn't there don't you think my own bf would fill me in? What type of family matters would they be discussing?

    • Well in my experience my bf's family was very private and they preferred to keep certain topics like the personal lives of their family members private. Even then my bf would tell me what was going on. I guess it all depends on the situation and the parents. I wouldn't stress too much about, because you said that she's usually fine with you being there.