Should you ask people why they have hurt you or should you just walk away and move on?

A guy I had a big crush on in the past really hurt me with the things that he said. Things were fine for about a month or so. When we hung out he showed all the signs of liking me and we even had sex once which was really amazing. Then all of a sudden I noticed that I would hear from him less kind of and then one day he basically switched up and said he didn't want me in his life. He told me how he really enjoyed all the times we shared but all of that was done now. I got angry and I was hurt. I told him how he was a a**hole and jerk. After I calmed down months later I tried to send him a friend request on Facebook because I wanted to know why he was so mean towards me all of a sudden but he denied my friend request and marked me as spam. I just wanted to know why he was so cold and mean to me. I don't know if he just wanted to use me for sex, if he was afraid, or if he was afraid to take things further with me because I'm a different race than him. I thought of every possible reason and I've just been upset about it these pass few months wondering why he became so mean to me when all I ever showed him was kindness and I wanted to spend time with him and get to know him. I don't know if I should send him a messsage on Facebook or not. He may not answer me or he may block me. It's just been running through my mind. I don't like not knowing the answer to things. But are something better left unsaid?


0|0
2|4

Most Helpful Guy

  • Keep walking because the answer may make you more angry. It usually doesn't help resolve anything anyway.

    0|0
    0|0
    • That's true... Maybe it's better that I don't know the answer. I just don't get how someone can act like they like you then all of a sudden brush you off so coldly. The way he looked at me, how he acted around me and how I felt around him made me feel as if he really liked me. Then all of a sudden he just tells me there's no room for me in his life right now. I really felt crushed. And then it hurt more having to walk away not knowing why he didn't want me in his life. Then on top of that I slept with him so I just felt horrible, used, hurt and crushed. He probably doesn't' even know or care how much he hurt my feelings. I really liked him.

    • Show All
    • Thank you for your kind words. It means a lot to me. I've been struggling with this trying to get over him and let go of the pain and hurt I feel. I will keep my head up high. Thank you for helping me see that it isn't my fault for how he has treated me, he is the one with issues. And he is missing out on something and someone who is amazing.

    • You're welcome! Good luck!

What Guys Said 3

  • Well you probably will not get an answer so you should try and move on. It sounds like he may have cared about you, but either got scared or just used you. Sorry it ended this way, hopefully the next one is better!

    0|0
    0|0
    • I guess I'll never know and I guess I'll have to be ok with never knowing. But thank you. If there is ever a next one hopefully he is better.

    • Show All
    • Every break up is different and it sucks you have been hurt so much. I do not blame you for having a high guard, heck I have pretty high guard myself and I have only dated once. I hope you get to feel true love one day because it is an amazing feeling that is unlike any other

    • Thank you. Maybe one day I'll be blessed enough to experience true love.

  • He explained to you that he doesn't want you in his life and although he had a good time with you, it is over now. There is his explanation.
    What else would you want to hear from him?

    0|0
    0|0
    • Your comment is a bit rude. I'm just going to ignore it. But just so you know that isn't a explanation. I wanted to know why he didn't want me in his life. I stated that in the question. But maybe you didn't see that part. But at this point I don't want or nor need to know why he didn't want me in his life. At the end of the day he's a fool and it's his loss.

  • I'm sorry. I know what you're going through and I know you shouldn't send him anything. If you need someone to talk to pm me. But you should just move on.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Thank you for your support. And yea I've been trying to move on these pass couple of months it's just been hard because I haven't liked anyone as much as I've liked him in a while and I haven't been hurt as bad as I have been hurt by him in a while as well. Sometimes I think I've moved on then I'll remember something about him or think of him and feel sad again. I don't know why it's taking me longer to get over him... I guess he cut me deep with his words and actions.

    • Show All
    • I know how you feel. It's really hard. If you need someone to talk to I'm here.

    • Thank you =)

What Girls Said 2

  • I think more or less people ask the questions if they need it to move on, the worst thing to do is leave someone not knowing the reasons or answers, then they will constantly wonder what they did to cause whatever actions the other person is doing. For all you know it could not be you, but him- but how do you know that you don't, go ahead and ask, if he doesn't respond then at least you will know you tried

    0|0
    0|0
    • If I ask hopefully he won't be rude and mean to me. I think that would hurt even worse. But you're right at least I know I tried. I will give it some thought.

  • You should walk away. They're never going to give you a reason anyway. It'll only give them more room to ridicule/bully/judge you. There's no point in wasting your time on people who are like that. It doesn't matter WHY they do stuff like that. What matters is that YOU deserve to be happy and that you should surround yourself with people who make you happy.

    0|0
    0|0
    • You're right. I shouldn't waste my time on a person like that. I do deserve to be happy. I deserve better than that.

Loading...