GF talking to her ex on Facebook. Should I be upset?

So a few weeks ago, my GF ex of 3 years sent her a friend request. She told me about it, and I asked her not to accept it. Saying if it was my ex she would be pissed. She agreed and denied the request, saying later she was glad she did. Keep in mind this guy lives 100's of miles away, is MARRIED, and has a kid.

Well, about a week after that apparently he sent her a message saying that I messaged him telling him to back off and other stuff. I didn't see the message, and she didn't tell me about it until weeks later. I never messaged him and was upset that she didn't tell me about this. I also figured she talked to him after, because why else would she delete the messages. She eventually admitted that she did, but only to be nice and ask about his kid. We got into a huge fight about all of this, and I wanted her to block him. She went to do it and he had already blocked her.

Now she has major trust issues and is always accusing me of cheating. She has gone through my phone and computer on several occasions, and has started fights with evidence she thought she found. I have not cheated on her ever.

So the other night she was acting weird, and secretive. Stayed in the room all night on Facebook. I tried to ignore it but I ended up checking her Facebook messages, and there was a message from him on there. Even though she is blocked on her computer somehow he can still message her on there... It didn't say anthing bad, but it was obviously him replying to something she asked him, saying that he won't be a stranger and they just don't talk anymore. She never replied to him, but she has obviously been deleting his messages since that was the only one on there.

I brought it up this morning and she was embarassed and apologized for replying to him, and said she didn't want to tell me because I would get mad. Then she made me breakfast to try and sweeten me up. I pretended it was ok, but I am still upset she is


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I am guessing as wise as I am she either 'Blocked him' and then Unblocked him because this is the only way he and her could communicate on Facebook... she was not being truthful with you.
    She also has gone behind your back and is now keeping in contact with him and Now-----She made me breakfast to try and sweeten me up.
    If you stand for this, then you will always be stooping for whatever poop she decides to throw in your direction. If it starts with an "EX" and this has left a sour ball in your mouth that his own X has Marked her softie spot, then this could go down a beaten path and always end up to be a War of the Roses.
    Sit her down and lay it on the line here, dear. Have a serious convo with her about how you feel and tell her you realize he Is married but you would prefer if she would Keep him 'Blocked' and out of your life and out of her face with... Facebook.
    As far as the 'Always accusing me of cheating' deal, it sounds like a raw egg"Deal' that she knows she is being sneaky so naturally she thinks you are too.
    Good luck. xx

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    • Yes, she apologized to me. We were fighting and it looked like we might break up. She said that is the reason she contacted him, to keep them on good terms.

      But my thing is. This guy is married, he cheated on you several times when you were together, and now he is trying to fuck with our relationship when he has one of his own he should be worrying about. And you don't have a problem with it. Then you want to try and keep him in your good graces instead of me...

      I told her this and she asked if we were breaking up. She says she loves me and doesn't want that to happen, but it just seems we keep fighting. I said that I love her and I don't want to break up, but it's me or him basically. I don't want to see or hear about this guy again, and if I do, I will let his wife know what he is doing and break up with you. I won't be going through your stuff anymore because I can't control you anyway nor do I care what you do anymore. I expect the same out of you.

    • Well put, stand your ground, General.:)) xxoo

What Girls Said 4

  • Yes, you have the right to be upset because why do they even need to speak given the length of time that has passed, he is married with a kid, what do they have in common anymore? Clearly, everyone has moved on.

    I think this is curiosity about what is happening in each other's lives and also I should imagine her ex is looking for an online friend that he has rapport with. He may be possibly having problems in his life/marriage and is looking for someone who knows him to show him some affection. There are so many possibilities of him contacting her and her responding.

    However, for me, more importantly, she is willing to hide it all from you and not consider your feelings about it. It undermines the strength of your relationship because she has gone against your reasonable wish.

    You need to sit down and have a big chat about everything and get to the heart of the real issue here which is her satisfying her curiosity & dismissing your feelings.

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  • You two clearly have trust issues.

    1) I personally see nothing wrong about talking to an ex. But since she said that she wouldn't want you to do the same, she should have respected that.

    2) Her accusing you of cheating seems to be a guilty conscience to me. She may have felt bad about what she did so she wants to project onto you. Highly unfair.

    3) I wouldn't pretend everything is okay. IT'S NOT. This "pretend" thing leads many relationships to ruin because problems that aren't nipped in the bud grow into frigging weeds that simply ruins the relationship. Talk to her. Ask her what her intentions are about this guy (if it's just friends) and why she talked to him after she said she wouldn't. Let it be known that it's NOT okay with you and you feel disrespected.

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  • If she's deleting the messages that's a red flag right there.

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  • This girl is cheating on you I think in all honestly. If someone is that paranoid about YOU cheating when you give them no reason to, it's because they're guilty of their own actions. It might not be physical cheating, but definitely emotional cheating. And for her to go behind your back and not respect your wishes just sounds like a doomed relationship to me. I'm really sorry. You need to find a girl that respects you and values your loyalty over her ex's.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Red flag... be caution... dumb her at once before she dumb you baaaaaadly

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