If someone rejects you, does it mean you aren't good enough for him/her? Please read description?

So if you confess your feelings to someone of the opposite gender (or same gender, if you're homosexual) who is single, but they reject you, does it always mean they believe you're not good enough for them even though they may not admit it? 'Not good enough' may mean in terms of looks, wealth, education or anything else.

I'm referring to outright and permanent rejections here, and not the cases where the other person says he/she is not ready for a relationship at that point or asks for some time to think.

  • Yes
    32% (8)55% (11)42% (19)Vote
  • No
    68% (17)45% (9)58% (26)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
Please note, this is NOT a personal question related to my life, so please try to maintain neutrality in your opinions. This is a question which is as general as it can get.

0|1
14|7

Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't really think of it in terms of "not good enough", because it implies that there's something wrong with the person, when oftentimes, it's just that the person doesn't see them as a good match, or whatever. I don't think "I don't think we'd be compatible" is the same as "you're not good enough for me".

    It also implies that I think I'm better than them, which isn't the case.

    I mean, there are movie stars who I would reject because they're not my type, despite the fact that tons of women find them attractive, they're rich and successful, and all that. But it would seem kind of ridiculous to say "Ryan Gosling (or whoever) isn't good enough for me", wouldn't it?

    I'd probably reject a complete stranger if he asked me out, not because he's "not good enough" (since I don't even know him), but because I don't feel that comfortable going out with someone I don't know at all.

    I'd also reject people if I'm in a relationship already, which has nothing to do with how "good" they are.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I understand about the person already being with someone, and I have got this aspect covered in my description.

      But the only reason you would reject someone if you were single and knew that person, was because they fail to satisfy your partner preferences, right? In a way, that does translate to them not being good enough for you.

    • Show All
    • *I wanted to hear

    • No problem, I meant that part of my comment in a jokey way! :)

Most Helpful Guy

  • Basically yes, you don't fit their criteria for a romantic relationship
    The only time this isn't the case is when they are already involved with someone else
    Rejection sucks big time bro, but its a part of life

    1|0
    0|1
    • I covered the exception your mentioning, in my description. But you're right.

      By the way, I know rejection sucks and I personally can never handle it, so I never confess to women. So this is just a general question.

    • Show All
    • I have been ready for companionship ever since I entered my 20s, and have also been in a couple of relationships but the girls themselves confessed to me in both cases. Have been single for over 4 years now, and didn't even attempt to find someone during this period.

      I frankly feel like a complete mess, totally lost.

    • find yourself my friend, once you know who you are, once you know your true self you will know the type of woman you need

      you can't be lost and looking for a gf
      i am lost, but i have a direction, and thats all i need for now

      good luck on this journey my friend

What Girls Said 13

  • Think of it this way: people are like waves. Some people resonate with other people, and this is when two people click and have chemistry. Other times, two people's wavelengths just don't match up, and even if they are both amazing people, they don't work together very well. Hope this helps!

    2|1
    0|0
    • I agree, but doesn't this wavelength have to do with a person's expectations from a partner? If you turn someone down when you're single, and it's not like you aren't ready for a relationship, it obviously means they don't meet your expectations, right? I guess this translates to them not being good enough for you due to some reason.

    • I suppose some may see it this way, but honestly sometimes it just takes a certain chemistry to make it work with some people. You could be doing everything right, but there is just an intangible feeling that's missing in the relationship, some internal connection, and that's all it takes to end it. If you want to know, just ask her. Call, text, meet for coffee, whatever, and just maturely ask if there was something that you did that made her upset or unable to continue dating you. Tell her that you don't want to do the same thing in the next relationship, rather than telling her you'll never do that thing again if she forgives you/takes you back. That's what I would do!

    • I'm not talking about breaking up after being ina relationship. I'm referring to being turned down initially while confessing.

  • Sometimes it can be a problem they have with themselves and they are simply projecting it. Some people are actually truly afraid if commitment and/ or happiness.

    1|0
    0|0
    • But if they're afraid of commitment, they'd say that they aren't ready 'at that point' or something, right? I'm referring to a permanent rejection.

    • Depends on if they are aware of there own fear or not. If they don't know it they are just going to reject anything like that, that makes them feel afraid. That or sabotage it if they do get into it. Some people with a fear of commitment will permanently reject anything that looks stable or even semi permanent cause they can't handle it.

  • You are the only one who can determine your value. If you are rejected, its because it just wasn't the right match. You can't force feelings. you can be the hottest, richest, smartest guy out there and still face rejection. you are not at blame.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Yeah, I know. It means that I'm not satisfying some expectations of the person I'm confessing to. This is the same as me not being good enough for that person when it comes to their expectations, right?

      By the way, do you serious believe the richest, smartest, hottest man can be rejected? I seriously doubt that. Such a man would have women swooning all over him.

    • Personality matters greatly to many women, but of course there are still some women who want the superficial things. I guess you could say that you do not meet their standards. But why waste your time trying to live up to the standards of superficial bitches?

    • To be honest, I personally feel that I'm too much of a 'common man' to meet the expectations of women in general, so I never approach women.

      I know that personality matters for a lot of women, but good looks are needed to generate that initial spark. I'm sorely lacking in that department! Hehe!

  • In my mind, yes. In reality that may not always be the case, but in my mind it is. Which is why I have such a huge fear of rejection. Which is why I seldom ever put myself out there. Because absolutely do not take it well.

    1|1
    0|0
  • No. Totally not. These days I reject all guys and it's not because they're 'not good enough'.

    1|1
    0|0
    • Then why do you reject them all?

    • Show All
    • See, you don't want a relationship 'now'. I have covered this aspect in my description.

    • I still don't believe that it's always because he/she is 'not good enough'.

  • It's possible that a person rejects because they don't think you are good enough they might also think they are not good enough for you as strange as it sounds. I know people that don't feel worthy of who they are approached by which is stupid without getting to know a little bit about them. Maybe they didn't feel a connection or a spark, maybe you are not their type and not being someone's type and not being good enough are two different things.

    0|0
    0|0
  • No. It just means they aren't interested.

    Do you think the girls you're not interested in aren't good enough for you? I doubt it. That would be egotistical.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Well... if someone felt I was good enough, they wouldn't reject me, right? I mean to say...'not good enough' is almost the same as not satisfying someone's expectations of an ideal boyfriend or girlfriend.

    • Not really. I just don't "feel it" with some guys.

  • It means you're not a good fit together. It doesn't means you aren't good enough, because some things aren't good for a certain person but it doesn't mean the're in general bad

    0|0
    0|0
    • Thanks for your opinion. What i meant to say was, you're certainly not good enough in THAT person's point of view although you may be the best for someone else, right?

    • Show All
    • By the way... can there exist a person who doesn't seem to be good enough for anyone? Is that possible?

    • Nope, you just haven't meet him yet. Everyone has someone who makes them the best they can be

  • It means you're not ready or its best, that they reject you...

    0|0
    0|1
  • No it just means u weren't what they were looking for.. everybody gets rejected

    1|0
    0|0
    • Yeah, if I wasn't what they were looking for, it means I didn't satisfy their expectations of a partner. This is just another way of saying that i wasn't good enough for them. I mean... if someone found me good enough, why would they turn me down unless they were already taken or didn't want a relationship 'at that point'?

      By the way...'everyone' doesn't get rejected. Especially true for good looking women who never have to put in any efforts to find someone suitable.

  • Maybe that person just doesn't see the potential you see.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I think it could mean a lot of things, but most likely it means that you aren't good enough for them. For what it's worth, I have read a couple of questions on GAG about how a person didn't want to get with someone they liked even though they liked them in return because he/she thought they weren't good enough for them. In this case, the person rejected them for the opposite reason that you mentioned. Then there are people like me who would probably even reject someone they like because of fear. So, while that probably often is the case, it's not always.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I just rejected a guy because I can't stand him. Everything about him annoys me. However he is a nice guy and he definitely isn't bad looking. I would say for someone who can tolerate his annoying personality he would be good enough. I don't feel I'm too good for him. I just can't handle being around him.

    1|0
    0|0
    • What's the reason for that? He probably doesn't meet your expectations of an ideal partner, right? Which means in your views, he isn't good enough for you.

    • He actually probably would if he wasn't so annoying.

What Guys Said 6

  • It's all semantics, really.

    You not being good enough for them = you're just not their type = they just don't feel the same way as you do.

    1|0
    0|0
  • No. Sometimes you just realize it's not right and you let go and let God open you up for someone more suitable and better for you.

    It's not getting what you want, it's about getting what is right.

    1|0
    0|0
    • 'Not right' in the sense?

    • Show All
    • You're missing the point here. I specifically mentioned in the question that the person is single.

    • Well, the girls worth having usually reject guys their first try to weed out the losers. But, also, if they really just don't want you, then its really not even worth your time because when they eventually end up saying 'Yes' and they just get upset with you and are never happy with anything you do can be taxing.

  • Yes. -------

    1|1
    0|0
  • Yes that's exactly why they do it. And exactly why I don't bother trying with them. They seem to enjoy it and it hurts to much.

    0|0
    1|0
  • Normally it means that you don't meet their standards. If you met their standards, they would be interested. So yes normally it is because they think you aren't good enough.

    However there are some exceptions, such as if they are already in a relationship, or have something going on in their lives and have decided not to date anyone.

    1|0
    0|0
    • I have covered your 'however' part in my description. Other than that, your opinion is spot on!

  • That's how I see it, if you were good enough they wouldn't turn you down.

    0|2
    1|0
    • Not true. Not everything is personal.

    • Show All
    • @Chick180 when I run for office you will be my chief whip! Very diplomatic.

    • People dv you if you don't believe the lies. There is such a thing as not good enough, it's just that nobody likes to admit it. lol

Loading...