Is bad to date below your attraction level because you have low self esteem?

I always feel like the girls I have crushes are too pretty for me. Then I'll see a less attractive girl and feel more comfortable about asking her out. I feel bad because I feel like it's rude to them. It's not that I think they're ugly just not as intimidating. Is it bad to ask them out for this reason. I like they're personality find them attractive enough to date. I also feel like I'd be making them happy because I'm talking to them which also makes me feel like a jerk. Is this wrong? If I would date them I'd be devoted to them and I would never tell them why I really asked them instead of others. My goal would be to make them happy. Is this wrong because of the reason I chose them?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you should have more confidence in yourself (:
    If girls you find pretty attractive are coming to you, take that as a compliment and use it as a strength! Understand that if they flirt with you and are showing interest, they want you to talk to them and you don have anything to be afraid of.
    I think by dating girls you openly say are lower in attractiveness is okay but the reason behind it is just you bringing yourself down/:
    It's great that you see them for their personalities, really. But keep in mind that you don't hae to settle!

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    • I've never had any girls show interest in me or flirted. I think that's why I have low self-esteem. Plus I was really overweight. I think I just want someone to love and want to find it easily. But since I have no experience I have no idea what I'm doing. I want to meet someone that finds me attractive I feel the prettier girls won't. They might give me a chance but they won't really find me physically appealing. I need to work on this mindset though. 😊

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    • Thank you this actually helps a lot 😁

    • Of course! I'm glad I could help (:

What Girls Said 3

  • Its a kind of half and half if you genuinely like the girls you go out with and aren't wanting something better its fine but if your only going for these girls because you dont want to be rejected by 'prettier girls' then its probably the wrong thing to do

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    • I would feel more confident asking them. And feel like I'd make them happy because I'm dating them is that wrong?

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    • Well it appears that way... well talk to girls you find attractive in a friend manner then your confidence with them may grow

    • K thanks

  • i dated below my attraction level and fell in love with him afterwards

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  • Never ever ever settle. You could probably get one of the girls you actually like. Don't date someone just because you think it'd be easier to get them... be happy yo

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    • If making her happy makes me happy isn't it a win win?

What Guys Said 4

  • One dating/marriage strategy is to date or marry someone below your physical attraction level which could reduce the threat of cheating or divorce. Deep down you might have realized this. Beauty fades, except inner beauty so dont worry about it.

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    • So is this wrong but smart? Or just ok? Sdo you recommend it. Will more attractive girls date me for the same reasons.

    • Focus on the person, not physical attraction. If you can get both, great. i wouldn't worry either way.

  • Yes.

    Yes.

    Oh god yes.

    I hurt a few women in the past because I have done this. Never again!

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    • Did they find out or something what happened? If you don't mind me asking.

  • I feel the same @anonymous

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  • I've done it before it was shitty

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    • How so? for you or her?

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