should I let my boyfriend touch my butt? We have been going out for 3 months and I let him touch my butt a few times but not everyday.... It feels good but it feels so wrong at the same time. I know my mother says to respect myself and I really do because im waiting until I get married to have sex. But is letting him touch my butt contradicting everything about self respect? Am I even still respecting myself? He recently has been wanting to touch my boobs but I just told him I was not ready for him to touch me there yet and he said it was ok. Is it wrong what do you guys think?
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Your mom's moral teachings are a typical example of a brick wall built against logic. Think about it: no common sense, no rational thinking could explain these kind of statements. What does touching boobs or touching a butt have to do with self-respect? What does waiting until marriage have to do with self-respect? You have a guy that you like (perhaps even love), he wants to show his feelings to you by touching you, it feels good to you and you wouldn't let you because of self-respect? So it's like... respectful to punish yourself and ban yourself from having harmless fun? Same with sex: sex is fun, it is healthy and it is probably one of the greatest joys of life that you get for free and - if you're just a little careful - with no danger involved whatsoever. It's better than a day of eating burgers, chocolate and cake, of sky diving and having a race with your car and all the other fun activities you can think of - because it's healthier and less dangerous than all these things. So you have this absolutely awesome activity that you can do and through which you can express your love to another person and you're gonna chaste yourself, you're gonna take away that joy from yourself for a weird concept of morality and self-respect? Is it self-respectful to be mean to yourself? I really, really don't get it.
If you like him touching your boobs or your butt, let him do it. If you like touching him, do it. If you want to have sex, do it. There's nothing wrong with it and it doesn't make you less "self-respectful" because you're embracing your life. If it was true what your mom is telling you, then many other things like laughing, cuddling, going to the movies, eating cookies etc. would also be disrespectful of yourself (which obviously they aren't).0