How to get around guys only wanting sex?

I'm 26 never had a legit boyfriend, only 2 flings. I'm a beautiful plus sized woman and I dress well but to show I respect myself. I wear lots of dresses of all sorts and overall I look very feminine usually. However, it seems guys quickly try to get me to get physical with them immediately. Why do guys always go immediately for sex and how can I get their approach to change?

Updates:
I do NOT meet men in bars and clubs, just to be clear.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Wanting to move towards sex quickly and only wanting sex are not the same thing.

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    • Touche. Do you have a suggestion for me for guys who want to move quickly, like within days of initially meeting? I guess my though processes is that if a guys mind is so focused on sex with me that he can't even get my phone number saved before he's throwing hints, that he ONLY wants sex. lol

    • No. Some of them may genuinely be interested in a relationship and I think you and they will simply never find out. (Many are indeed just looking for sex)

      Stick to what you're comfortable with and don't hide your rules. That will drove off many not willing to wait though many of the waiting will be flirting early.

    • OK. Thanks a lot.

What Guys Said 7

  • Possible Factors-
    -Maybe they don't look for a long term relationship coz they don't imagine themselves with ur plus size.
    -You're a friendly person and they feel too comfortable with u soon, and that you'e easy to get. so play a little hard too get.
    -Be friends for a while choose better people, who can look for the person u are and ur beautiful face :-)
    - Also, when u start to talk in the beginning always give the impression that you are looking for a little more serious thing then just casual.

    You can change their approach by changing your approach and maybe loosing a little weight won't hurt. you should do it for ur own self anyway. healthier lifestyle sake lol.
    good luck :-)

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    • I have to take this as well meaning but to say that a full figured woman isn't desirable as a relationship partner is ridiculous and immature. And LOSING weight isn't going to make a beautiful girl LESS sexually desirable unless she becomes too thin. So I don't know what my figure has to do with anything. But thanks for your perspective.

    • I thought by plus size u meant fat, a full figured woman is very much desirable.
      And i don't hv such an opinion but it was for the guys who acted this way to u for whom i spoke.

      'And LOSING weight isn't going to make a beautiful girl LESS sexually desirable unless she becomes too thin'
      if u were fat, i was saying loosing weight would make u more desirable.

  • tell them "if you have sex on your mind only, beat it dude"

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  • You can get their approach to change by changing the environment in which you meet them. (i. e. stop standing on the corner of a busy street shaking your shit).

    I'm joking. = P

    But seriously, you're probably going to bars late at night, in which case, yes, that is generally the theme. It's presumed, at least by males but I'd say quite a number of females too, that the bar scene = the fuck scene.

    CHEERS!

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    • I agree with you, which is why I specifically avoid talking to men in those environments. Its strictly a girls night only. And this guy as well as others are those that I meet just in daily life.

  • Not all guys just want sex. What type of guys are you going for? Where are you meeting them?

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    • Well it's more like which guys are going for me. lol They don't have to be any particular type, but I do try and stay away from guys that give off an asshole vibe. read my comment below to see about meeting places. But this question is more about how to get men to see me as more than "I want to bang her". It's tiring.

    • Lol well like I said not all men are like that, it is a matter of meeting the correct men. I notice you said said you talk to people online, do you go on dating sites?

    • I do have a profile on a dating site. The photos represent me well, but MOST of the responses are steered by the guy to sex very early on OR the dates just aren't good. Which really isn't an issue with me, I take this as normal behind the internet behavior thats to be ignored. But in my daily life I am either not approached or when I am isn't by some guy who clearly just wants to occasionally be moisturized by me.

  • Haii~ because they're not the good type of guys, they get provoked by your dressing style so, you know, maybe you should pay more attention around and look or get to know who you think it's a good guy, like if i met you, i would try to know you first, even i know you are beautiful^^

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  • Tell them there isn't a chance. Maybe even threaten them if needed since the kind of guys that go straight for sex tend not to take "no" as an answer. Also remember not all guys are like that.

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  • It sounds like you are meeting them at clubs and bars which would explain why you are running into those types. Unless I am wrong, then I don't know, you have to look at sex differently, it shouldn't be something to "give." Just something you want. I think the answer is more sex actually, date more people, 3 at a time I say, and keep rotating until you find one who is on the same level...

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    • I don't go to bars or clubs. Just online and the people I meet in daily life.

    • Take more time talking to them and if they start making sexual comments or innuendo's just drop 'em. Also, be honest about your intentions from the start don't avoid the topic then act surprised when they make moves. They are dudes, they want sex.

What Girls Said 5

  • Not all guys are after sex only. But you also have to understand how what you are wearing may be interpreted by others. I'm not saying to change that, I'm just saying you can't control how others interpret things and if they think they you are wearing particular clothing to encourage advances from men, then they will make an advance. You can either articulate your boundaries and intentions, or change what you wear. But some guys do just want sex but some also want a relationship, don't assume that all men who want to be physical are only after a sexual relationship.

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    • Thank you. I definitely agree that I can't help that men want to sleep with me. And that isn't bad either, it's just irritating. I wonder whether its being interpreted as to encourage sexual advances, though i doubt it. I actually get people asking me regularly Why I'm so dressed up? and Do I work in an office. So it's not overly sexy stuff I'm wearing, just feminine and well put together. I'm an artist so I look artsy too.

    • Well said and so ture!!!

    • All you can do is articulate yourself and hopefully those men who are only interested in sex, will realize that they shouldn't pursue you for that.

  • Guys think about sex a lot, like every five minutes. You can show that you're a good honest woman by making them wait. They won't like it at first but if they stick around to get to know you, that shows integrity.

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  • I used to have this gold necklace that used to be my grandmas with a cross on it!! That used to repel players pretty fast. Although I f you aren't Christian that may not work :p

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    • lol I actually like this advice I'll actually going to see if this works I've got a big set of gold cross post earrings. Thanks

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    • I know girls who wore crosses. They are Hispanic Christian girls who became teen moms.

      Not saying it can't work, but if it's your make and mold, that's how things are gonna shake.

    • @MrScTi is that because players hit on them or because they've already gained the reputation of easy? If you act easy, the cross isn't going to do you any good! If you don't though, I think it will stop at least a couple guys from approaching with the intent of only sex

  • Ignore them and move on

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  • Stop wearing tight clothes and don't let guys talk to you sexually before they get to know ya.

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    • Thank you... I dont wear "tight clothes" nothing here says I wear tight clothes, lol

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