Girls (and guys, if you want to answer), Why is it so unusual not to have had a boyfriend or first kiss when I'm 15? Here's what happened?

So I was at lunch with a couple of friends (all girls) and we started talking about how we look and everyone agreed that I look really innocent and all that. That's okay with me, but one of them started making fun of me saying things like:
You're like SO sheltered!
Do you even listen to rap music?
Haha Have you ever kissed anyone?
You haven't had a boyfriend...have you....
You probably don't even know what "anal" means!
etc, etc.
But here's the thing, the girl who said this looks just as innocent as I do, but when someone asked her if she were a virgin she freaked out at me and said "Do I look like one??" When I said yes I asked if she wanted to look like a virgin and she hesitated and ended up not even answering.
So I'm just wondering...Why is it so unusual and why was I made fun of for it?? Is it such a mistake to look/be innocent? I just want your opinions on that!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I just turned 17 a week ago and I got my first kiss when I were 16. I look quite innocent as well and behave quite normal in the presence of other people. You should know that it is quite normal to have never kissed before, and I can tell that I am still a virgin as well. I don't think that's a problem because I feel totally at ease with it. However you are dealing with social pressure caused by media and other stuff. Remember that you are not different, stupid or unnatractive - but you just choose to wait for the right moment! This makes you no less of a person, and I really respect you for standing strong.

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    • I'm sure that media influences some of all this but it could just be that girl. She tries to be cool and friends with everyone so maybe she's just getting into all the stuff she thinks is "the norm" now. But thanks a lot :) I respect you too for doing what you think is right

    • Well , by the time the pressure will become less I promise. When I look back two years ago people were also busy and I was the odd one out. However, as time flew by people came to me telling how much they regretted what they had done and how they wish they could turn things around. I have been waiting until the moment was right (you will feel it when its right) and thus I have never regretted it. This made things more easy to deal with, also for the guy I had been with. We can still talk and have great times, not regretting anything. Remember to keep your values high, if you don't want it, then don't do it - other possibilities will show up and you respect yourself by waiting till the time is right. Love and virginity are not things to be rushed, they will just come to you when the time is right. I believe in you , and you go girl!

What Guys Said 1

  • It's not unusual it means u are smart. I'm 15 and look I act very innocent but I am the least but innocent. I still have yet to have a gf or kiss cause I'm waiting for the right person and not just rushing into it

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What Girls Said 4

  • Nah don't worry about it... guys actually like girls that are innocent but they can have a good time with... she's obviously just putting you down because she feels bad herself... you obviously already know what everything she said means... who cares if you listen to wrap music or not?

    Girls want a bad boy that will be good just for them and guys want a good girl that will be bad just for them

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  • I'm way older but I never even had my kiss until I was 17 I always thought it was a big step and it is. Also not having a boyfriend by 15 is good that means your looking for the right person. I hadn't had a full on boyfriend till I was at least 16 because I always thought it was a big commitment to having one. You shouldn't feel ashamed or upset about it, tbh most of my friend by your age or older lost their virginity I think it's fun being the innocent one I don't know it gives you more of an edge I guess of knowing that hey I'm not easy to get with so you know a certain guy will try and you know he will be the one. I guess all I'm saying is girl you can wait until your 24 to have your first kiss if it doesn't matter to you than who cares?

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    • Yah it totally is fun being innocent because there's so much yet to experience and it's not all old news you know? It's really great actually, until people bully you about it

    • Well that's there problem if they bully you for being pure because they aren't

  • That girl is very shallow. You shouldn't care about what other people think of you, they don't even know you!

    Being a virgin or not being one is not a bad thing! It's just a stage of life where everyone has been in at some point.

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  • I'm in the exact same boat as you. Everyone always says I look so innocent. To be honest, I've never had a boyfriend, I've never kissed a guy, I'm still a virgin, and I'm not really a HUGE fan of rap music. I'm 15 too by the way. Everything's okay though. Everybody moves at their own pace. Ours just happens to be slower than some other people's and that's okay. So just do whatever feels right to you, when it feels right. There's nothing wrong with you.

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    • Thanks so much. I've recently been discovering that way more girls at my school are the same way and it surprised me soooo much! But I guess it means that we're not alone on this one haha.

    • Wow, I literally just got my first kiss a few days ago. It was with one of my guy friends. I guess I'm out of your boat now. Good luck though! You're gonna be perfectly fine.

    • Man! haha ;D well I'm happy for you

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