Why do people try to make every single relationship they have work even if it's wrong?

I don't understand it really..people complain of their bf/gf being too controlling and not letting them hang out with other girls, or that they have been cheated on, or abused, or that their parents hate them, or that he/she doesn't want to find a job.

Some things should be complete deal breakers, some things you can't make work. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone who has completely different values than you? someone who cheats on you or abuses you or controls you?

Why is it that people try to make these relationships that are clearly not right work all the time? Why can't people just say okay i am done with this. Just wondering because to me it's a simple are we compatable, can I trust you enough so that you can hang out with your girl friends and give you space to go out with your guys and know you won't cheat on me or abuse me. If the answer to any of those is a no then I will dump you right away no questions asked.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Some people can't just move to a new relationship. Especially guys. The guys who are poor -average with girls will do anything in their power to keep her (usually unsuccessfully), or as the adage goes "pussy whipped" it is shit and I been destroyed by if. I stayed way too long in a relationship that shouldn't have been. Why? I come from a heavy religious background, and that in combination with my poor social skills made me think that a) I couldn't get a girl, so stay with this one, b) separation is a sin. So that's the shit I had to deal with. I have another friend who is a model and he married a lingerie model. But he is a very nice guy, actually could fall into the nice guy syndrome category (yip a model without an ego) she on the other hand was alpha bad girl and even in the beginning she was cheating on him. He wouldn't see it, tried to keep her pleased and only when she shagged his best friend, did he divorce with a heavy heart. Nice guys especially struggle with the concept of abundance.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Yours is a very healthy attitude. You've taken stock in yourself and recognize what's important and that certain things can and should be deal breakers. When I was your age I did not have the same level of emotional maturity. ... I wish I'd did. .. but thankfully we can all grow in time.

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  • i dont know. girls act like they got soooo many options, but they always choose the worst ones. i think because they're insecure and self loathing. and guys, i think they just have really really shitty options so they just take what they can get.

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    • People really need to learn to love themselves before they dive into relationship after relationship

    • well that or they just need to be better people... i saw the girl i loved become someone awful recently cause she didn't listen to me and made a bunch of mistakes and broke a bunch of dudes hearts and they hated her and she hated herself, and then she kept on intentionally making those mistakes BECAUSE she hated herself... and she started avoiding me more and more because i was the guy who actually knew how to make her happy and she didn't think she deserved that and i was like, jesus christ, yes it IS your fault but rather than beating yourself up about it and hurting everyone else around you in the process, maybe just dont do those things in the future and you won't have anything to hate yourself for

    • it sucked because she went from being the sweetest funnest girl i know to being a heartless insensitive binge drinking self destructive buzzkill... we could have both been happy but she was so dead set on being depressed she screwed me over more times than i could count... a mans problem is a woman. and a womans problem is herself

  • Good question. I agree and I always tell others this. It's not about banging your head against a wall until it works. It either does or doesn't

    Most people can't stop trying

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  • Because at the time they don't think they can do any better than what they have.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I agree i know a guy who has beat his gf twice but she says he's a good guy an needs help she called police. Then dropped charges an let him return home. Mug i tell ya. Then you got another girl who got with a guy pregnant at 16 then after few years suffered domestic violence. Ended it an got back with him, then finally ended it. Then got pregnant with a new guy. He is lazy sponged off her etc. Then she got pregnant again he is useless. They split 4 times before she ended it this year. Lifes too short to waste on wrong people. Id rather be single then unhappy.

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