Starting up the conversations?

My girlfriend won't text me or call me, at all unless I text/call her first. I'm always the one starting up the conversations but she happily talks to me as soon as I start the conversation. I get sick of always having to be the first to text her all the time and she'll go days without doing anything until I eventually break and text/call her. Can I turn this around some how or what should I do in general?

Updates:
We've been in a relationship for 3 months and she is a very sweet girl and we get along really well. I just don't get why I'll literally get nothing unless I text/call her first
Right now I'm in a 3 day standoff since we didn't go out on a date this weekend and I'll see her at school tomorrow.
It wasn't this bad at first so I ignored it thinking she was busy or something. but then I caught the trend of she won't talk unless I text/call her. I'll see how tomorrow goes
confused sweet turned out to be right when I asked her about it, but thanks for all the advice y'all!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • well I like this guy ad we text a lot. usually it's him who texts first and I do tend to do the same thing your girlfriend does, I dnt text him if he doest text me. the reason why I do this isn't because of the 'let the man chase' mumbo jumbo. it's because I would think he's busy and I wouldn't want to bother him. plus I don't want him to feel like I'm too clingy. and the reason why I would feel this way is because I'm so used to him texting me.. I would naturally think that if he doesn't text me it means he's busy or he just wants a break off of me. so I would wait.. till he texts.

    thanks though.. you kinda helped me. now I know that I haw nothig to worry about. I feel like texting him now (:

    good luck! and text her she would love that. Betcha she's waiting by her phone right now ;)

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What Girls Said 7

  • i would think since she's your actual girlfriend and not just a crush that she would be a little more prone to contacting you. Has she always made you initiate the contact? I'm gonna he honest, we get a lot of advice from magazines and most of the time they do say to "let him come to you" but I can understand how it would frustrate you. My advice is when you see her at school, act like you don't and let her come to you and force her to take the initiative

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  • Maybe she's following the old method of "let the man chase".. are you in your first stages of the relationship? she might not know if she can be confident enough to just do it. either she's holding back because she's scared you'll think she's clingy or something, or something else is up. talk to her - if she likes you, this will be resolved really quickly and in no time you'll have a stream of smiley texts on your phone :D

    - I'm sort of like that with my boyfriend, but that's just because I have no time and sometimes, just not too sensitive. I do send a text smiley though, when I can't write more.

    :)

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  • :) she just might not be aware of it, how you feel about this. good luck :)

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  • My cousin does the same she will not texxt or call her boyfriend at all. She waits for him to do it all..her reasoning is because she's got too much pride or some bs like that..she has repeatedly said she does not call/chase guys (even though it's been her boyfriend for a couple of months and she's crazy about him) so I don't know maybe something to think about?

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  • You're only doing your job!

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  • Well, to me I love when guys text/call first. It shows that you care, and you want to talk to her. Now I don't know why she'll go days waiting for you text her back. Ask her in a playful way why she won't text you first. Hoped I helped :).

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  • I do this thing to my man before and sometimes still. .. call it self esteem issue, weird shy or whatever but for me he is just too precious that I only want to be patient and wait of when it is convenient for him to text and call me but by the time he called/text me my day is made.. . but I kinda change this habit now because he told me to call me or text him anytime.. .he would be happy to recieve msgs from me.. . but ofcourse still only the times I think he is not as busy or not at work. hope this help. ..

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What Guys Said 1

  • Well, she's obviously playing the woman card here.

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