How can a guy learn to trust people again after being hurt?

For the last month I've been feeling lonely. I had a steady Gf from 18 to 21 and things fell apart the week I turned 21. Now for the past year I've been partying every weekend and club/bar hopping with the sketchy sorority girls. Well I'm 22 now and I'm a little tired of sleeping around and want something real but I still don't trust people yet. I heard it takes longer for men to move on then women and I'm starting to agree.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you just have to try and find someone that seems trustworthy and have them prove that through time. I don't think your problem is that you can't trust people and your goal shouldn't be to start trusting everyone. You should hand out your trust to people that seem deserving of it, and you just don't have anyone like that at the moment. Also keep in mind that everyone will make a mistake at some point. We even hurt ourselves in certain ways, and we forgive ourselves. The same should apply to someone else that you truly care about.

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    • I'm a poser now lol I'm a quiet caring kid at heart but now I'm fakkmg being social and happy when I go out but feel empty.

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    • Unfortanutley I lost those when I started to drink too much and decided to push people away. I don't know the only good thing in my life right now is that I'm still passing college with good grades other than that I'm a mess.

    • It's a good thing things can be found again.

What Girls Said 2

  • When you find 'that' you just know and everything starts to feel different and you find yourself trusting even though you never thought you would, I've been cheated on in the past and it killed :( and the relationship before that he left me for another girl and I just didn't see the point in love anymore and then I met my current SO and told him from the start about my trust issues and how much I've been hurt, several months later I'm in the best relationship of my life and I've forgot all my hurt and I just know he's the one, trust me when its THAT person you just know :)

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    • Not if I push people away. I lie about my name to girl in the club and give them the wrong major cause I don't want to get close to people.

  • How can anyone?
    They forget about it in time and take another huge leap hoping everything will turn out differently this time.

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    • No leap for me I'm done opeinging up completely until I know a girl is the right one for me.

    • Fair enough.

      But I must warn you - with this attitude you will attract the wrong kind of a girl and repel the right one.

    • I usually take the approach of faking confidence and loudness then when I get more personal. I show my actual shy side.

What Guys Said 7

  • just some advice dude... NEEVR trust anyone... not even ourself basically...;-)

    www.smiley-lol.com/.../napoleon1.gif

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  • No.. it depends.. it's not my fault you're meeting crazy and psycho people... you're choosing the wrong type of chicks... and trust me if you managed to find the mentally stable girls you'll feel much better on yourself...

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    • See normal. girls don't approach me lol. I attract some girls that I find out later are crazy.

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    • Well I never really am an agressive dude I see some interist and take it slow. I don't take agressive inititiave.

    • Sometimes you must take it slow... other times you must take it HARD...

  • You keep your awareness up and watch their actions, no matter what they say and don't let a person break you down.

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  • He can sack up and understand that life is full of experiences, both good and bad, and that being in a relationship doesn't mean that trust is immediate or implicit, but should be forged and earned. Good luck and don't sulk in self pity, bro.

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    • I sulk in alcohol now and its one of those things where I moved on from her but theirs still uptightness when girls talk to me about personal things. I've lied about my name so that they couldn't get close to me and I don't like people to know the real me.

  • Yeah don't do that

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  • Never trust anyone man

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    • Well trust is an important part of a relationship which I want so its time to save my image as this party animal while I can. I want to love and be loved.

    • I can understand you... But when you trust someone too much you will be shocked when they let, you down

  • You can have a relationship without trust--on your part. She needs to trust you, but you're a fool if you ever trust her. That's the best dynamic to have, you just have to be convincing when you tell her you trust her. Any relationship I've had that was any good was like that.

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    • So you never loved her then? That's not something I can do I want to be able to let my heart go and open up to a girl.

    • I didn't say I didn't love her. I didn't trust her--that doesn't mean I didn't have feelings, I just didn't allow them to blind me.

      Women are fun and sometimes even pleasant. But once you start letting go, you open yourself up to irreparable harm. Don't be foolish--when things go sour (and they almost always do), you are the only who will be on your side. She'll have family, friends, courts, etc on her side--you'll have only yourself.

      Have all the feelings you want, but don't allow them to influence you into stupid decision making. Be prepared for her leaving and keep yourself safe from scorched-earth policies women use when they don't get their way.

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