Guys, reversed dating pattern?

Hi,
so i dont understand: there's a guy i like. We've been on several dates now but except for the first date, im always the one asking him out. I dont mind tbh, bc this way im in control and i can see him whenever i want it. and he seems to be comfortable with this pattern. He even told me -litterally- that whenever i feel like seeing him or going out with him, i could always text or call him. After he said that howevrr, i waited and waited for months for him to call me, just to test if he would chase me, but he didn't. After a long time, i finally texted him again, askung him out and he agreed and so we went out together.
Im confused, shouldn't the guy ask out the girl what does it mean when the roles are reversed? Guys, do you like it when the girl's in control?
Dont mind my English brw, im not a native.


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What Guys Said 2

  • First off, I'll say that the whole "guy should ask the girl out" thing is completely stereotypical. The first girlfriend I had asked me out for most dates we went on. However, if you literally waited for months for him to call you to ask you out and he didn't then he probably sees you as just a friend. But if you were doing all the obvious bf/gf stuff (kissing, flirting, hugging, etc.) than you might want to consider that he's cheating. He could just be really shy, but if you went on dates multiple times than I think he would've called you again after awhile or at least wondered why you two weren't going out anymore. I'm gonna be frank with you and say that not asking him for months was pretty stupid if by the point that you decided to do that it was quite clear that he wasn't asking you out. Because if he isn't cheating and is just really shy than by that point he could feel like you've forgotten about him or don't care about him or your relationship which could damage your relationship in the long run.

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    • I completely agree with yiur first statement. I dont mind asking a guy out.
      Second, yes i made a crucial mistake. He even had deleted my nulber, bc he asked me to identify myself when i texted him after 5(!) months.
      We've never been physical, and i dont necessariky want to be. I just want to hang and enjoy his company. I think he's confused about what i want from him. But i already told him that i like to be around him. I just dont like rushing things.

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    • Haha I think you may have misconstrued what he said when he said that you can call him whenever you want to see him. I don't think he was trying to make you feel like you need permission to contact him I think it was more of a friendly "whenever you need me" type of gesture. I think he genuinely values you two's relationship and wants to try to make you happy!

    • Im makings things more complex than they are :p now i feel stupid! That's so sweet of him.
      Thanks for clarifying,
      You're very mature for your age!

  • it is nice for the girl sometimes to make plans because it makes us feel like we aren't completely desperate - the case might be reversed here - he doesn't want to seem desperate so lets you organise dates

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    • But won't iiii look desperate :p? truth is: i crave for his companionship, but i often let weeks or even months pass by between our 'dates', just to keep our moments together extraordinary ;) but still, im always the one initiating...

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