Telling someone you love them when all you want is sex?

Is it wrong to manipulate someones emotions just to sex with them and move on? Does it seem like men or women do more of this? How much would this hurt someone? Is it wrong to have sex without love?

Updates:
I'm not asking this because i plan to do it. Im asking just to get other opinions.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • They say only men do that, but I used to back in the day. I don't anymore. I've grown up from that nonsense. When I was 18 to probably about 21 I did all the time. I did it the first time when I was 18 and I was surprised that a guy fell for that. I didn't think guys got sentimental over "I love you." I thought that made them uncomfortable. I thought they were commitment phobes, especially at that age. I was wrong, and I found out a lot of guys seemed to fall for it.

    Shortly after my 21st birthday I met the one that got away. I just didn't realize it at the time. I didn't want to be tied down, but I wanted to have sex. So I made him think that I really loved him and I wanted to be with him. It wasn't until after I dumped him that I realized that I fucked up big time. I don't blame him for not wanting me after that. I stopped after that though.

    Now I only have sex in a relationship, and I wait. I've been with my current boyfriend for almost three years. I still regret to this day that guy, but my current boyfriend is a great man.

    I wish I could go back in time and tell my 18 year old self not to pull those kind of stunts. At the time I believed that guys didn't have strong feelings like girls. I didn't think they got hurt as bad or anything. I've found out just how wrong I was. If you do this, take it from my experience and don't. I regret it all. I can admit that I was just a dumb bitch at the time.

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    • I'm just asking for other peoples opinions not because i'm planing to do this.

      Thanks for shareing your personal story about this, just remember we all make mistakes and its most important that we learn from those mistakes.

What Girls Said 11

  • Thats a jerk move! Never say you love someone! What people do sometimes, to not be bad and still get what they want.. is be vague. I only did this once with someone I was rebounding with. Only ever did it once but I dated a guy, he was absolutely in love and I would tell him lets see where it goes and then continue all lovingly. Of couse I must have hurt him at the time, but he helped me deal with some serious pain. It sucks, but he became a bit of a stalker. Either way, you can keep it going without making promisses. Try that instead

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  • Sex without love is fine. Lying to someone for anything is not ok obviously it's disrespectful. Why would you assume it's ok. If you were in love would you want a woman pretending to feel the same way just to get what she wants?

    . It's hard for me to believe you really have to ask this.

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    • I'm just trying to find out what peoples opinions are. I would never use someone like this.

  • Yeah, manipulating people is wrong. Duh
    Be straight up with what you want.

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  • Duh this is FUCKED up
    Come on dude, use your brain!

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  • This is a jackass thing to do that takes advantage of a trusting heart and will leave it broken and bitter. Don't be a fuckboy.

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  • That sounds really really bad man 😐

    I can't even.. 😐😒

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  • How many girls even have to do that though? You don't have to tell a guy u love him to get the dick

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  • That's absolutely wrong

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  • Obviously. Don't be an asshole.

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  • That's fucked up in so many ways. this can hurt someone more than you ever think. Imagine if that had happened to you. Playing with someone's emotions like that can seriously impact their future relationships all because you "wanted" sex. Don't be self centered.

    Is it wrong do have sex without love?
    In my opinion, yes. I don't necessarily mean love, but without any emotional attachment or feelings towards that person. I don't even see how you can be attracted to a person sexually enough to want to have sex with them & not want more than that. Just my thought. I know a lot of people will disagree.

    Men or women? I see a lot more men doing these types of things. Don't get me wrong, women do this too.

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  • Yes, it's morally wrong to manipulate people. Plus, it creates unwanted drama for you. People of both sexes are manipulative and it often causes a lot of confusion and hurt feelings. Sex without love... That one depends on your values.

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What Guys Said 10

  • It is incredibly wrong, yes.

    A woman will trust you with her heart, her body, and her soul. If you deceive her, if you lie to her and say that you actually love her, then sleep with her after beguiling her, you will jade her, and damage her heart.

    You will be responsible for the ruination of one life.

    You may think that is of little consequence, but it will curse you for as long as you live. People will mean less and less to you, until you are so completely alone, your entire world will collapse in on you.

    It sounds like you are struggling within yourself. Within your soul, and your heart. You know what is right, but you are drawn to the easy way out.

    I'll tell you the secret to lasting happiness and true love.

    It is never to have sex. Not before marriage.

    If you want to hold the most precious part of a woman in your hands, that is her heart, you must first date her in absolute celibacy.

    People are deceived into believing that sex should be the beginning, but in that context, it's a cheap thrill that will leave you empty and alone in the long run.

    There's a reason why people used to woo one another for months and years some times, in total celibacy. It brings you together, and starts a foundation that will last a lifetime.

    Unfortunately, sex will cloud that, bringing all encompassing and delusional feelings into play, and you will never fully truly know her heart- and if you ever did- it wouldn't really matter.

    Nothing is free in life and everything has a price. Are you willing to pay the price for true, lasting love that you are so desperate for? Because if you are, you will refrain from sex.

    When you finally find her, after you have put in your time to get to know her (I have known this girl for 3 years and she continually surprises me with her true character. How long it takes is up to your wisdom, so be wise!) and you take her sexually during the honeymoon, it will be scared, rather than cheap.

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    • I should have been more clear about my question. I'm not asking because i plan to use someone, i'm just asking to see what other opinions on the subject are. I agree with you that the path to happness is not in sex but in love.

  • Its not wrong but its not fulfilling either. Anytime you use someone for any reason is wrong unless you're in a mutual use fuck buddy type relationship

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  • YES YES YES YES AWFUL!
    It is very bad and it hurts the other person quite a lot. It's not wrong to have sex without love, it is bad too manipulate someone's feelings just to achieve sex though

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  • YES very wrong basically... be honest about your motives dude!

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    • I wouldn't do that, i'm just trying to see what other peoples opinions are.

  • It's interesting you ask because men often use "love" as a pathway to sex, whereas women use "sex" as a pathway to love.

    Which one is worse? Both manipulations are as bad as each other if you ask me...

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  • It is messed up to do that but lets be real if you're a girl and you actually believe it from a guy who clearly flirts around with other girls and hooks up with other girls all the time then you need a reality check. A lot of girls have wishful thinking that the guy is serious about his "love" for her when in reality its all a game.

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  • Yes, it is wrong. Men for sure do it (not all, mind you), but I'm guessing women do it, too. Just not as many as men.

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  • It's wrong to manipulate someone just to have sex with them and sex without love is alright if both people agree with it.

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  • Yes that is wrong and messed up.

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  • Yes its all wrong

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