I love a guy I know I couldn't be with him forever?

He's my boyfriend. I love him so much but we are not compatible on so many levels. He's very conservative and controlling while I live in the US all my life - very liberal and free. I love him, but I know I can't be with him forever since our mindsets are completely opposite, and I'm wasting my time being with the wrong person. I don't even know what do I get out of this relationship when all I do is having a headache on how conservative and crazy his mindset is. I know if we get married it would result in a divorce. But I love him so much I cannot leave him, I just can't... I don't know what I am supposed to do now when leaving him is not an option for me but staying with him is just horrible.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • A perfect relationship doesn't mean that both of you have to be compatible in all your hobbies and beliefs. Sometimes Opposites attract and they mostly succeed in relationship because they were never left out of new things to discover in each other. Why do you think it's wrong. There's never wrong in loving. actually your relationship has so much excitement as you progress and you may never know one day, you will realize you want him in your life. don't think about the future.. just focus yourself in present. live. laugh and love.

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    • He lives in an apartment with his roommate. I came over his place once to spend time with him. Then, I need to go to the bathroom. Guess what? HE WON'T LET ME PEE AT HIS PLACE. He said "I'll get go back to your place to pee". I asked him "WHAT?" He said, in his culture, it's weird to pee at his place. WTF?
      He then said it's not normal in his culture to hold hand in public, so we must pretend like we're just friends in public. WTF?
      He said I cannot wear anything above my knees, because in his culture that's like trying to get attention, even though it's 90s here wear I live. WTF?
      He said in his culture, acquaintances are the most important person, because you need to build good relationship with them. One time he acquaintances shit talk about me and he didn't do anything about it. He said they're more important, and that if he have to choose either one person (me) or a group of persons (his acquaintances) he would choose those people because his culture is collectivism. WTF?

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    • You don't love someone that you don't respect, and the way you speak about his culture, which is obviously a big part of who he is, is very disrespectful.

    • But he doesn't respect my culture either! In my culture it's ok to pee at his place and ok to hold hand in public. Why can't he respect that, but I have to respect his?

What Guys Said 2

  • Look up burn by usher
    That song should give you some insight

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  • Are you the same women who was complaining about her boyfriend who is Korean? The one who got mad because you wore Shorts in summer?

    Well if you are i already told you that He is not gonna change... And it will only grow worse over time...

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    • Yeah that was me.

      Now that I know it will not work out and he won't change, but still I have troubles letting him go.

    • Well it is a tough But you got to do something in the end right?

What Girls Said 2

  • You make the relationship work because you love each other. Everyday you work a little more on creating harmony and learning to respect the differences between you, but also try to understand what you both have to offer each other.

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    • He lives in an apartment with his roommate. I came over his place once to spend time with him. Then, I need to go to the bathroom. Guess what? HE WON'T LET ME PEE AT HIS PLACE. He said "I'll get go back to your place to pee". I asked him "WHAT?" He said, in his culture, it's weird to pee at his place. WTF?
      He then said it's not normal in his culture to hold hand in public, so we must pretend like we're just friends in public. WTF?
      I really cannot understand his mindset...

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    • My culture is an important part of who I am too. If you said the fact that "it's ok to hold hands in public" is not my culture but rather a thing I would prefer him to do, then isn't "it's not ok to hold hands in public" not his culture, but rather a thing he would prefer me to do?

    • Either you respect him and be willing to respect what he expresses to be his cultural customs, or you don't. If you are so pissed off at his behaviour, then instead of complaining about it, end the relationship. Whining enough that you hope he will behave differently is just immature and manipulative. What is more important to you, that you get your way and hold hands just because you see others doing it or do show others you have a bf? Or that your bf feels you can respect an important part of who he is?

  • If you already know it won't work then break up... you won't be open to other relationships while you are seeing this guy. You will find love again! And dont expect him to change - I hit 40 and realise that fundamentally, I am the same person I always have been (just with more experience).

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