I always initiate or make plans or inquire about her availability?

So I've been out with her 2 times so far and going out for a third time this week hopefully and so far I have been the one to ask her when she is free and would she like to hang out. Now don't get me wrong she is always like oh yeh cool and when we hang out she always looks like she's having the best time. However I asked her why am I always the one to make plans and to text first? her reply was..."you're the guy" and "i never text first it's my little rule it would be weird" and then she was like "look If I didn't like you I wouldn't go out with you and I wouldn't reply to your texts simple as that"

As you can tell my head is doing circles and I don't know what to do should I just question her next time we're together and see what she's thinking or what should I do?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • What do you mean "should you question her" the next time? She made it explicitly clear. This girl seems just like me: she has no interest in approaching a man and the thought makes her feel weird (for me, it makes me feel desperate/pathetic). Which is why YOU initiate the texts.

    (The only difference between her and I she seems to keep to that gender role (all men should do it) while I believe if a man doesn't want to initiate, he shouldn't. But he better not expect me to.)

    Do you want her to initiate texts sometimes or figure out where the two of you can hang out? You can talk to her about that. But it seems pretty clear to me that her answer will remain the same.

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    • yeh I just want her show some interest in asking me for a change its just at the moment I feel like she doesn't really care whether we hang out or not

    • I understand. If she's responding to your texts in a timely manner, is interested in hanging out with you, and tells you so, I don't think you have any reason to worry.

      I get what you're saying though: you feel that it's all one-sided. But I don't believe that's true. Maybe when you two get more comfortable with each other she will start sending you texts.

What Girls Said 1

  • It's because she wants to be pursued. What she's telling you is that you're the pursuer and she's the pursuee. She likes you, but she's never going to initiate anything, sorry haha. She seems pretty stubborn with her "rules."

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    • hahaha so its just her way of saying "come and get me"? and she obviously likes to be in control

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    • I think I just need to talk to her face to face about it and see what she says thanks for your help!

    • Anytime :)

What Guys Said 1

  • I'd find a new girl, everytime one does this I always feel like I'm bothering her.

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    • yeh I agree but like she always replies to me man and she always has a good time when we're together so I kinda wanna stick it out and see what happens

    • Well I'm just saying what I would do, If you like her stick to the plan.

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