Do I sound like an abusive boyfriend?

She would never say what's on her mind or what bothering her. We were long distance for like three months because her parents didn't approve of me. I only treated her like a piece in the beginning because she literally told me she is a whore and only wanted that. She had a hard time unveiling feelings later on. Really hard time.

Towards the end she said I was moody and was picking fights with her. I remember she told me things like oh im probabaly a bigger slut than you are and I haven't even thought a out cheating so I know you haven't. Went on to tell me her count is like 30 as of she were btagging. I blew up and called her a slut and said that's disgusting only because I thought she was trying to impress me.

Distance grew. She would tell me how all these guys would hit on her bunch of stories.. I saw her like once a month and she told.me this constantly.. I called her out saying she was trying to get a rise out of me.

Acts more distant and I assumed she might be cheating.. I accused her she proved me wrong.. she later showed me a message of a guy asking her for nudes on her snapchat.. she denied him and showed me that. I asked who it was said she has no idea. Said ok lol delete him. The next day he is still on her top list. I got mad and said it's pretty simple to delete. Didn't really buy that a random guy that has no idea who she is would think to add her username and ask for nudes.

This girl never showed me anything really at all to show me she cared so I didn't feel comftorable reciprocating back. stupid thing is I know she loved me like crazy and I did too. Its over now.. but honestly do I sound like I'm abusive.. I really was just frusterated with the situation. First real relationship.. stupid rookie mistakes were made I guess.

Updates:
Said she felt used and I didn't care about her or love her.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • She sounds like a manipulative bitch! I would dump her. She is getting you to act out and then she plays the victim card. I have been there.

    I went out with a guy once. He would treat me like shit then play the victim when I stood up for myself. That sounds exactly like what you are going through.

    Usually a female doesn't say how many guys she has been with to her boyfriend so it doesn't make things weird.

    Also I have guys hit on me a lot but I don't tell my bf every guy that hits on me but I do tell him about the ones that stand out because we are fairly open but not every relationship is that open.

    But if a guy ever asked me for anything sexual (like nudes) they would be blocked or deleted IMMEDIATELY no questions asked. I only want that kind of attention from my bf.

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    • Right.. I mean I get the sense that she was too afraid to open up to me so se acted this certain way thinking I would come to her or maybe it was just to protect herself From getting hurt. We wouldn't talk for a couple days and she would just message me out of the blue.. hey if you love me you should buy me these concert tickets

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    • I don't know she could. I don't know her so I wouldn't know. It is hard to tell someone's exact reason for doing something. Either way she is damaged in a way only she can fix.

    • Yeah thanks for opening my eyes though.. before posting this I honestly thought I was a terrible person abusing this girl. Looking at it from a rationale perspective now. Any other guy would of reacted the same way.

What Girls Said 4

  • This just sounds like an unhealthy relationship all around. She obviously has some identity issues that she needs to sort out about herself - I can't imagine why she would want to be treated like a whore. She's not. She's just got a bit of a past, but that doesn't define her and I hope that she figures that out.

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  • I think she's probably struggling with her identity as a woman and testing men in her life. She sounds emotionally immature. I think calling her a slut is not okay, even if she asks you to or goats you into an argument. If she's sleeping around or sending nudes photos of herself she's probably trying to validate herself and her only known currency is her body. I think you belittle yourself if you sink low and respond with calling someone a nasty name. She probably does feel used but it probably has nothing to do with you but rather something in her past, maybe her upbringing, dysfunctional home or abuse. Either way she's not emotionally equipped to have a healthy relationship so you're better off not together.

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    • Yeah I suppose you're right.

  • That sounds like it was a toxic relationship all around, and it wasn't ALL on you.

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  • No but you both seem to have serious issues

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What Guys Said 2

  • Just... just... just... Don't call a girl a disgusting slut again.
    I can understand being grossed out by the number 30, but as long as you stay away from acting like that you're fine.

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    • Good morale at 16.. couldn't say I was like that. But I know this.. just let me temper get the best of. me.

    • Everyone says things they regret man.

  • Can't say you sound abusive at all. You should work on your temper and avoid losing your cool over anything, but that said, nothing abusive I noticed.

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