Online daters why do you flake?

Been talking to this dude, little over week, finally asked me out, we confirmed on a day-sat, but not on a time or where to meet, because he never replied back to my text when I told him what times worked for me. That was early evening yesterday, so I'm taking it that he's going to go ghost..because generally, correct me if I'm wrong, a guy genuinely interested would have already laid some solid plans down right?

So why do people do that, like what a waste of time for both you and me, it's silly.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Less than 24 hours is way too soon to be declaring a guy to be ghosting.

    Chances are, if this is being done through online dating, he is talking to multiple people at once. He may be trying to juggle a few different things, maybe another person is also wanting to see him Saturday. Or there is a game he wants to watch, or a show, or he has some other plans. He is waiting to hear back from somebody about what time they are free on Saturday so he can figure out what time he is free to see you... or something like that. At this stage I would be assuming his delay in response is because he is trying to maximize scheduling opportunities.

    Have you sent him a follow-up asking him what time? Just tell him you sent him what times work for you, but you need to know what time works for him as you have other things you may do.

    If you never hear back from him... yeah, he ghosted. Though it's not really a 'full' ghost if you've never even met. It's just rude, at that point. As to why he would do it... change of heart, most likely. Or something else came up that he preferred. But... as I say... too early to be assuming that.

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What Guys Said 3

  • because some people use dating sites 4 fun basically...;-)

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  • The internet is full of flaky people; it's all about playing the numbers.

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  • In the sense of them wanting to plan something and me not meaning it? I happen to make joke around a lot saying things like "Yeah! Lets meet up at a little ceasers parking lot tonight" or "lets get taco bell at 3am"
    I never had anything happen in your circumstance but I doubt a guy would fully go on with a plan (unless he's cruel) then stop replying
    maybe his phone died, or he got a new phone, or he's with his friends.

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